A Carol for Rev. Ebenezer Ch. 03

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It seemed only minutes later that Ebenezer was awakened again by the church clock striking 2. There seemed to be no such assured presence in his bedroom. “Jacob cannot keep to his post-mortem arrangements. Huh! Humbug!”

But seconds later, another brilliant light emerged again to the side of his bed. This was a more commanding presence than the previous ghost. No mistaking gender this time, he was fully bearded and a full head of ruddy hair. He wore a wreath on his brow stocked with plenty of berries and other small fruits. His robe was more plain, but still with a white ermine trim, but otherwise a sort of maroon velvet, not unlike Father Christmas. He brandished an ornate shiny lit metallic torch.

The way the robe only partly covered him is what caught the attention of the man in the bed more than anything else. It was not covered over and tied in the front so that one could witness much of his muscular form, covered in an appealing hirsute graze running patchwork down his front to a dense tufted pubic nest and beyond. Ebenezer could feel his covered gender organ twitch and bounce in appreciation.

But the apparition’s peculiar penis was an object of some studied focus. Unusually large and hung low, it had a broad fat glans at the end, covered in a foreskin with a shriveled nub that extended at least an inch longer than would be expected. It looked as though it may have been the extended head of a defective shar-pei runt. Most perplexing was a cord that was tied around the shaft snug against a pronounced corona. It hung about 3 inches down from there, attached to a small glittering bell. The whole arrangement was reminiscent of the joke about the monks who, under their cowls, were made to wear bells hanging off their danglers.

“I am complimented by your interested attention and inspection of my gender organs, Scribner Ebenezer.”

The man in the bed was startled to hear the specter speak and with such a male “basso profondo” of authority. “Er, I was just noticing it all comprises an unusual arrangement, spirit. Do you regularly present yourself in such unsociable exposure?”

What happened next startled the subject of new lessons in life, more than anything else. Of its own volition, the flaccid penis was able to wag itself up and down with enough rapidity that the attached bell rang a noisy high noted tinkle. “I’ll wager you have never seen a bell jingle from such a trick, Scribner Ebenezer. With such talents as this, why should I ever cover myself?”

A disapproving look of disgust was suddenly cast over Ebenezer’s face. “Is this supposed to be a joke? Am I supposed to be impressed by supernatural lewdness that among mortals would suggest that serious abnormalities at birth have taken place? God did not have it that we were born to be circus animals in some perverse burlesque show, spirit. Such a child would be in need of surgery, at the very least to pluck that perverse prepuce. . . You are the second ghost Jacob alerted me to expect this night. Tell me who are you?”

“I am the ghost of winter solstices present, Scribner, and for tonight, your festive present.” The dangling organ wagged again, prompting another round of high noted but high volume jingle bell.

“I wish you would not do that again. Are you an old apparition, or new just for this occasion?”

“There have been many brothers before me, hearkening back to an age when hominids who walked the earth first noticed the change of seasons and that in this hemisphere, the sun would fade in the southern sky every year.”

“Well judging from my experience, the creator of all of you has a warped sense of humor. It must of have been a ghost of great vulgarity who has been genesis illegal bahis of your kind.”

Ebenezer still covered in his bed clothes winced as the ghost waved his penis up and down once again, summoning the annoying jingle of the little bell slung about by the motions. “How do you know our creator is not the god you worship and you assert created all mortal humans?”

“More like His archetypal opposite, Satan.”

“Well I do not have time to argue such fine points of philosophy. Get your splendid mortal bare arse from that bed, and let us go about our business in this immediate community.”

As the middle aged naked man climbed out of bed, “I trust I will be granted the same protective amenities?”

“You will be escorted with the same consideration as did my predecessor.”


As soon as the mortal and the ghost slipped beyond the bedroom window, they were at the union hall in the town where the annual LGBT event is located. Naked Ebenezer scanned the room with a look as if he had caught a whiff of bad odor. There was a pastiche of wintry scenes with decor of the more pagan tradition of Christmas. The churchman was disapproving that there was no creche or other Christian nativity scene about.

They were among the first to have arrived. But Ebenezer noticed that one table was festooned with mostly members of the Crocker family. “There is that slacker, Bob Crocker. I nearly killed myself tonight because he did such a poor job of clearing the paths of the compound. I should sack him before Christmas.”

“Christian mercy, huh?”

Ebenezer shot the spirit a frosty and unfriendly glare. “You don’t know the people I have to deal with.”

The ghost set a finger from his free hand vertical to his lips. “Let’s listen to what is being spoken.” Bob and a son of his had left the table to greet someone entering the central hall whom he recognized. Most of the rest of the family were still seated at the table and a friend or neighbor joined them. Mrs. Crocker conversed with her.

“My Tim is the apple of his father’s eye, ‘ceptin’ his having the eye out for other young men and all. It don’t bother Bob at all, ‘ceptin’ this recent round of bad health.”

“He has the HIV, doesn’t he?”

“Oh how that is a burden to all of us. His brother and his sisters have all known that he is the sweetest and most loving of us all. Now you know in the little house Bob rents for us, things have always been too cramped for us to observe all the modesty of to and from the bathroom and all. Well when the girls got that age when they start to feel self conscious about such things and try to cover up, our Tim would come up and say ‘oh Ginnie, aren’t your boobies coming in so nice. Soon, you will need more than your training bra.’

“Well, he was just a young tyke and they knew he meant it. They would hug and kiss him. When he was even younger, he was such an affectionate gad-about, he would want his sisters to help bathe him. Well they would titter and giggle and start to calling him ‘Tiny Tim’, because of how he was between the legs, and all. I would scold and tell them they should be happy and love him no matter how God put him together.”

“You don’t say!”

“Well hear this, now. When his ailments started, one time we heard him almost fall as he was trying to get out of the tub. Well Ginny and Margie insisted that they help him in and out of the tub from then on and help him dress and undress if needed. Now they are always with him at bath time. But when the subject has come up, they take to snickering and giggling again. I scold them but they tell me ‘Oh Mum, we don’t laugh at him when we are with him and all. We just think illegal bahis siteleri that here he is all grown up, and he is still our Tiny Tim. We love him more than ever and we enjoy taking care of him even more than we did before.’

“Well I tell them, he must have been attractive there between his legs to somebody, because that somebody got him HIV.”

“Oh spirit, this is indecent eavesdropping at its worst. Imagine a mother relating such personal things to anyone else, especially someone outside of her own family.”

The ghost started to speak with a look of profound declaration on its face.

“I know, we mortals have such peculiar ideas about ‘indecency’. . . Tell me spirit, what is the medical prognosis for young Tim? Are there no sound treatments for his stage of HIV infection?”

“He has had very little medical attention. What there has been suggests he may be on the verge of full blown AIDS. I can only read the shadows of the future. What little I can see, is that without any medical coverage for his family, the little attention he will garner will not be enough to prevent an early demise.”

Several friends of the Crockers had returned to the table with Bob and Tim. They had mugs of the Yuletide punch and many other mugs to pass around to the table. Everyone became quiet when Bob spoke the toast. “To my family and dearest friends at this festive time of the year, Merry Solstice!”

“Merry Solstice!”

Tim spoke up next. “And blessings upon us all, every one.”

The invisible pair moved on to another table.


“My Uncle called our annual event ‘so much humbug’.”

One of Fred Blade’s friends at the table chuckled with a sense of genuine mirth. “‘Humbug’!?! What a delightfully archaic word. It sounds like the poetry of some dreadful curmudgeon ~ a prominent word in a stanza by Robert Frost. Or, a word used by a colorful villain conjured by Dickens.”

“He refused to make even a brief appearance to meet my new hot and handsome significant other, George here. He dismissed our whole festivity as ‘revelry’s impiety.'”

An older lesbian spoke up at the table now. “Your Uncle Scribner sounds like a repressed old queen of the church.”

“Not exactly. He is a gay man, partly because of his place and time, who made different choices in his life.”

“Thank you Fred.” The naked invisible man felt genuinely consoled for the thoughtful defense from his nephew. “The lad does have a head on his shoulders. If only he would use it in pursuit of some coherent organization.”

“He looks like his mother. “

“Now that you mention it, he does. My sister Fannie died giving birth to him.”

The music had become louder. An over-amplified string quartet was playing the Wassailing song. Ebenezer signaled that he wanted out of the room. It was difficult to hear the guests speak at the table. Besides he was annoyed that he had not heard any traditional carols yet.


It was almost as if the invisible pair drifted to the back of the old town structure, including through two locked doors. They found themselves in a poorly lit room stuffed with dingy old stage props. There was a distinct noise of some syncopated squeaking and pounding from somewhere in the back. As they approached the source, Ebenezer distinctly heard some grunts, groans, and kissing smacks.

The invisible naked man stopped in his tracks and called out to the ghost who was peering over the back of the couch at the source of all the commotion. He was irate and his displeasure was written all over his face. “You spirits are really obscene. This couple should find themselves a motel room.” canlı bahis siteleri

“Now they can’t see or hear us. Our being voyeurs to this beautiful performance of lovemaking would be completely innocent. You will never see me again after tonight. There would be no reason for anyone to ever know what I brought you here to witness. . . Do you really regard this union of physical bliss as obscene?”

“No, I do not. But there is a time and a place for everything, spirit.”

“Then consider this the time and place for your opportunity to be revealed true physical passion in an act of great pleasure in love. Come and watch, my man. Come and see depths and intensity of love Jesus would promote universally.”

Ebenezer was seduced to the idea of the moment. He stepped up and looked over the back of the sofa. The spectacle he observed sent rushes of warm goose flesh all over from his scalp to the toes of his bare feet. A naked youth was mounted on a naked man below him. The up and down movements of hips, thighs, and waists suggested copulation in the missionary position.

He could see that the ample erection of the mounting youth had penetrated anally the man below and that the movements were causing a sort of desired pumping in the penetration. The movement of the buttocks of the youth on top, the way they would move flex and then relax in a sort of steady rhythm was especially visually pleasant. Both males had tattoos about their shoulders and arms. The top penetrating man had shoulder length black hair. His face could not be seen.

But the man below had short dark hair with a trimmed mustache and goatee. His legs were raised to give his partner best access to his available posterior. He was evidently breathing in shallow gasps, probably with a racing pulse. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, probably intent on all the sensations of masculine friction in intimate stretches and impacts within his contacted rectum, beyond, and all the brush against him of warm, toned, naked flesh. Occasionally he would call out to his partner in a whisper: “harder, . . oh that’s nice, . . . stay like that.” He had flashes of gray about his sideburns and ears. They would sometimes reach to purse lips and kiss or tangle tongue tips together.

“Spirit, the man, ahem. . . receiving, seems to be perhaps somewhat older than his partner.”

“The man below is what in gay parlance is called a ‘late cummer’. He had problems of sexual dysfunction because he was bullied and derided in his community, including from within his own immediate family for his evident sexual and gender preferences early on.”

“Well surely there must have been some professional counseling available for him almost immediately.”

“Are there no crisis centers at the State Hospital?” The ghost wagged his penis again to ring the little bell.

Ebenezer squinted again. “You spirits will not achieve your objective by mocking me with my own words.”

Suddenly two ugly gaunt children scampered out curiously from behind the ghost’s robes. The clothes they wore were dirty and their bare feet were filthy. They grimaced derisive surly expressions at the naked copulating couple on the couch and pointed fingers at them, sounding grotesque cackles amid mouthing hateful curses.

“Beware these two, Rev. Scribner Ebenezer. The girl represents hateful bigotry and the boy personifies ignorance. Their kind is profligate even among believing Christians in our time. Be mindful of the boy even more than the girl, for they could bring your safe sanctified world to a crashing calamity.”

Their curses, mean laughter, and pointing were now directed at Ebenezer. “You disgusting old filthy naked fag, what do you think you are trying to accomplish? “

Ebenezer could hear the penis bell ringing but looked around desperately, unable to find its owner. “Spirit don’t leave me here alone and without clothes. . . I beg of you.”

to be continued . . .

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