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Chapter 2 — Caroline is going to surrender
Marvelling at herself, Caroline felt she wasn’t upset anymore with the situation with Billy and Emily. “Odd, isn’t it?!”, she was telling herself on and on.
On Saturday, June 16th, she wrote again to Bud:
“Apparently, Emily doesn’t seek sex with her current boyfriend but she did have sex with her brother. I’m still trying to understand that. Though I’m not an advocate of incest I think I am beginning to not be so judgmental or scared about it. I don’t think it is for me personally but I will not tar and feather those who do it. Furthermore, I can see the sibling attraction better than a parent child one. I may see even a glimmer of a father and his daughter but I think that’s because older males with younger female are pretty common in the world as a whole; the older woman younger male dynamic is still not very settling in any event. Now, what happens if I go back and tell him to stop using my underwear?! Will he take it as a reprimand?! How will he react?! Like he said and you guessed, it’s not just an infatuation; Billy is probably deep into incest. So I choose not to tell him anything; should I still find that he masturbates in my panties or else, I’ll simply do the laundry. Besides, he’s going to be leaving to College soon, so the issue should go away anyway.”
Caroline was happy to read Bud’s answer just a few hours later:
“I can tell that your new feelings about incest are quite normal. You are now rediscovering an ancient truth: incest is not a dirty thing and a threat that weakens Society; instead, it is a privilege not at anybody’s hand. Its intrinsic value is best recognized when it happens naturally, certainly not when it comes from perversion and abuse. In ancient times it was thought of as a privilege of Gods, in order to keep their divinity from decaying. Besides, why mating outside if you’ve got better things inside the family?! Pregnancy could be a concern when a brother and a sister are involved, but that can be easily monitored and avoided nowadays. Is it so hard to believe that incest can be much more fulfilling than sex with unrelated people, who know nothing about you?! Regarding father-daughter and mother-son, actually güvenilir bahis it is, or should be, the other way around: a father holds a position twice as strong as his daughter’s: he is her father and he is a man; he cannot or should never use such a double advantage to satisfy his sexual desire. Mother and son are in a more balanced and right situation; I can say and you can bet that the mutual sexual interest of young males and older women, besides being extremely common, often with aunts, is just shamming mother-son relationship, know it or not. Now, are you sure of the reason why you don’t ask him to save your panties?! I mean, are you sure you are not actually flattered and excited by this and want it to happen?! Look into yourself Caroline, then tell me: are you really sure?! Summer holydays are at the door. We won’t have many chances to hear from one another now. For the time being, take care of yourself. I’ll be waiting news from you around the end of August.”
That was an extremely demanding Summer, at the end of which Caroline’s son was heading to College.
So far, she had no chance to get into it with Emily and she intended not to anymore, leaving it to them.
Of course, if she came and told her something, she would discuss it with her but she really meant to just go on until then.
Billy would be gone until Thanksgiving now and they had a tearful goodbye session.
Emily and Billy looked like a married couple parting for a long separation.
Caroline thought nobody else noticed but she caught the implications.
She feared they might be an “on again” item; the way they looked when Billy left made her think so.
Did that make any sense? She was sincerely confused.
Bud showed up again on the 13th of September:
“Here we go again. No need to be confused; there is always a sense; question is to find what it is. With just the look of their eyes when he left we can only make guesses about what the status of their relationship is right now. Given they were together last year, then stopped and this fetish item came up with Billy, knowing what Billy said I believe that Emily has always been the closest thing to his true sexual and love interest since türkçe bahis the beginning, that is you, knowingly or not; that is why, after they stopped being together, he turned to the fetish alternative; if your talk made it clear that he can’t have you, he might have talked his sister into being back together and either she did not say no or they made love once again before the parting, which could explain their sad look. Anyways, I suggest that you accept that; beside the “top secret” issue, there is no major problem in all this since either way they seem to love each other, no matter whether he loves her as herself or as if she were you, because even in the second case he would still love her through you as well as you through her. By the way, what about the stains in your lingerie?!”
Caroline did not know the answer to the issue; she couldn’t state for sure if and why Billy was targeting his mother, if it was as a proxy for Emily or vice-versa.
As for Billy using her things, that hadn’t stop until last week, when he left.
For the rest, she thought if they were on it again she guessed she could deal with it; it did not seem so gross to her anymore.
One thing troubled her a bit nonetheless: if they stay together, then sometime in the future their father might either get suspicious or find out the whole story; “But,” she thought, “why being worried about what hasn’t yet come to pass?”.
This is what she wrote to Bud a week or so after his last message, being able to read his answer on October 2nd:
“His still using your things would actually indicate two things: first, he has always been targeting you; secondly, they did not have sex recently. What you saw in their eyes when he left was a sign of their intimate bond, that’s all. As for you, there can be several reasons why he has those feelings, but for the moment I’ll pick just one, basing on him being now 19 years old guy, not a child anymore: he is in love with his mother; as simple as that. You will have to deal with this not just as his mother, but as a woman too. As such, you can accept his love or refuse it, but this is how it stays. However, he’s gone now and you said he won’t be back till Thanksgiving, which, at güvenilir bahis siteleri least, will let you recover from these remarkable events and save your lingerie at least for a while.”
Caroline so replied:
“As for him still having those feelings for me ‘it is what it is’. I wont cheat my husband so the thing won’t happen. If for some reason I were single, I just don’t know (I can’t believe I just said that). Two months ago I probably would have vomited, but once you look at the situation from outside you get a different perspective. Emily seems sad though, that’s why I think they may still be in their situation. It isn’t the ‘I am hurt’ sad; it’s more the ‘lonely type’ sad as if something’s missing in her life. I know that type of sad. I think I may have had the same look when my husband had that long business journey. Although I already had my two children at the time the look was the same, I’d bet on it. PS. Just a note: I got my first letter yesterday. It seems he took a pair of my panties with him to school. Also Emily has received several letters; I think she has gotten one almost everyday since he left and who knows what’s going back and forth in the e-mail. PPS. He wants to send back the panties he took with him and for me to send him a fresh pair.”
Bud: “Did you send him the fresh pair?!”
Caroline: “Yes I sent them! I know I shouldn’t have, but I did, I don’t know why. I got them back and they were just totally covered by him. I don’t mean the usual spots, I mean covered! I guess he had a lot of pent up feelings.”
Bud: “Again I must ask what’s really in your mind! You keep saying that you would never have sex with Billy, that you are no cheating kind, then you keep this fetish thing alive and ongoing! Maybe you’re the cheating kind Caroline, maybe you’re cheating yourself. Wouldn’t you tell me the truth?! Isn’t it possible that you’re negative about having sex with him not because you do not want to but because you fear the possible consequences of getting eventually caught by your husband or by Emily?! To me, what you’re doing seems more like water over greek fire if you see what I mean. Why letting the fetish gain ground if you are really unavailable to have sex?! Why not telling him definitely that his desire can’t have any hope and ask him in his own interest to make efforts to switch to a platonic relationship, even though with more affectionate kisses and hugs, or to go back to a conventional one?!”
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