Matriarch Pt. 01

I was sucking my son as he woke up. He woke with a start and shoved me off the bed with his foot, I landed hard on my butt and I scrambled to get out of sight. I looked forward to the punishment, but what I really wanted was the chase.

My son, my master, is a hard man to please. I try, but there are a lot of times when what I think is my best just isn’t good enough. In the beginning, I woke him by putting my lips around his penis. He makes me call it a cock. After a while, I think it annoyed him more than relieved him.

I thought I was doing the right thing. He wakes up hard every morning. I thought it would be my duty to relieve him. My husband had a morning routine that he demanded. He trained me to certain things. My son does things differently and sometimes changes things without telling me. I think sometimes that he only does it to give him a reason to punish me.

My husband was my whole life and when he died, I didn’t know who I was or where I belonged. I got married young and our first year together was just naive newlywed bliss. I was discovering how to be a house wife and mother. As much as I really loved that life, I knew I wanted more.

I didn’t want to work. I wanted to keep my house and family in a way that made me proud. We had a daughter, and my husband began to change our life. I should really say that I changed our life. My life became all about the baby. I both saw and didn’t see where my life was going. My home began to slip. It wasn’t big things. It was small things that I didn’t think were a big deal.

When my husband questioned things, I told him about my day. Everything I said sounded like the right thing to say. My family agreed. My friends agreed. Women in general seemed to agree and even the women on the outside, on the computer, on TV and in magazines said the same things. After a couple of months, my husband had enough.

He came home very calm. I was in my usual place. There were a few things that needed done, but not important things. I hadn’t gotten around to making dinner. I thought I would just order a pizza or throw something together. I can’t remember, but I think I smiled at him when he got home and he smiled back. In just a second, my life would change. I had no idea when I saw him coming through the door that day.

I don’t remember if I smiled. I don’t remember what I said. I probably just said hello and asked how his day went. A minute later, I was on the floor in a daze. My cheek was stinging and I couldn’t wrap my head around what had happened. I had been knocked across the room and into the wall. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the atalar escort bayan floor.

My husband explained it to me much later. I don’t think I even asked what happened until a year later. When he came through the door that night, he had a single thought in his head. It was a black and white question in his mind. You could call it a lot of things. No matter how I could describe it, it came down to a way of life.

When he came through the door that night, he didn’t have a plan. He just had an idea. The idea was a question. He asked himself if he was willing to live like other people lived or live the kind of life he wanted. The reason he was thinking that way was because of the answers. He had decided that the answer didn’t matter. He would either stay or go based on what happened this night.

When he set his mind to this, everything that happened was just a natural course of events. His eyes traced the room. A little dirt was on the floor. A little spilled food was on the baby’s tray. There were a few dishes in the sink. He casually asked how my day went. I gave the same bland answers I had fallen into. I was taking care of the baby. Marcie stopped over. Mom called.

As I said these things, he casually took off his jacket. He went to the door and placed his jacket on the hook. He came back rolling his sleeves up. When he reached my chair, his hand came up. A second later, I was on my butt, leaning back into the opposite wall. I was trying to figure out what had happened. Even as my hand came up to my cheek, he was crossing the room, coming after me.

I asked later what had happened. At the time, I really wasn’t sure if I had been hit with something, punched or slapped. It turns out that it was an open hand slap. It was powerful. It felt like he wound up and got his hand moving from way behind him. His hand came across his body and made full contact with my face. That wasn’t as surprising as what happened next.

My husband crossed to me. I was trying to catch my breath and trying to sob but nothing but gasping was coming out. He grabbed a hand full of my hair and dragged me down the hall. When we reached the hall closet, he stopped and pulled me to my feet by my hair. He put his other hand on my throat and got really close. I could feel his hot breath on my face.

He was inches away and looking me right in the eye.

‘You have some thinking to do’.

I opened my mouth.

‘Shut up. When I want you to talk, I will ask you a question’.

This worked in my favor. I didn’t know what I was going to say.

‘Right ataşehir escort bayan now, you need some time to think’.

He let go of my hair and shocked me even more. Still holding my neck, he ripped and ripped my clothes until I was naked. When he was done, my face was pressed against the wall. His hand was now on the back of my neck. He had completely turned me around while tearing my clothes, and there was a pile of ripped fabric at my feet.

‘I’m not living like this. You have 2 choices. I’ll stay and be the head of this house or I’ll go and start a life somewhere else. You decide’.

I blubbered a little, trying to form words.

‘Shut your face. Anything that comes out of your mouth right now is just emotion and fight. You need a time out. Think and tell me when I let you out. Hands behind your back’.

Even as my head screamed at me to fight, run, something, my hands followed orders and went behind my back. My hands were tied. A soft fabric I remember. One of his ties, a scarf or a piece of what had been my clothes a couple of minutes ago. Another piece of cloth was tied around my head, and then another. I was tied, blindfolded and gagged.

As he pushed me into the closet, closed the door and locked it, I felt a drop of liquid running down the inside of my thigh. I thrashed for a little while as my head cleared. I tried to cry out through the gag. I tried to back up into the door and get it open. In the end, I sat down and cried.

There was no way to mark the time. Crying stopped after a while. I wore myself out. I dozed, woke up, dozed and woke up. I had to pee and tried to get his attention. I fought it for a while, then felt it slipping out. I started crying again. I was humiliated. Along the way, I did some serious thinking.

I heard the lock snap and felt the chill air as the door opened. I wanted to say something. I really did. Nothing came out. I felt scissors cutting the bonds on my wrists.

‘Go get cleaned up. I’ll see you in the kitchen’.

I pulled the blindfold and gag off. I went in as it was getting dark. It was now full bright. I staggered to the bathroom. There were times when my butt was on the toilet and my head was in the toilet, but most of my time was in the shower, scrubbing away my shame. I washed and rinsed a total of three times.

I got out and wrapped towels around myself. My face looked puffy and haggard. There was a large red mark on my cheek and my lip was swollen. I was thirsty and gulped water from my hand at the bathroom faucet. My stomach growled.

I made avcılar escort my way to the bedroom on shaky legs. I got a shock on top of my shocks. All of my clothes were gone. My drawers were empty, my closet was empty and my shoes, make up and jewelry were gone. On the bed was a single dress. It was a summer dress, very thin and a size or two too small after the baby.

I pushed myself into it and went to the kitchen. I was hanging out everywhere. I was now two people. One was ready for a fight. The other was confused, sad and wild as it sounds, curious for lack of a better word. Before I opened my mouth, my husband spoke and it froze me.

‘Take that off’.

I blinked. My mouth was open. I couldn’t comprehend what I just heard. My hands, though, went to my dress and began peeling it off. It wasn’t following orders. It was more a defiant act. I didn’t want to wear this and I was embarrassed to be forced to be seen in it.

I threw it to the floor and prepared to speak.

‘The next words; the only words that come out of your face are yes or no. I expect no commentary, no indignation, no questions, nothing but the answer. I am staying and being the head of this household, meaning what I say at all times is the law, or I go and start a new life and we fight over this’.

Even as he cocked his thumb, I knew what he was talking about. I even felt myself turning a little red at being so caught up in myself that I hadn’t asked or checked on my daughter. She was peaceful, half asleep in her playpen. She looked clean, happy and content. Mommy jealousy kicked in when I saw that she was fine. I expected that without mommy, she would have needs that only I could satisfy. Wrong.

‘Also, I would take very good care of that’.

He pointed at the garment I had just shed.

‘You’ll get some clothes back when you earn them and when you fit into that properly.’

He stood and looked me in the eye.

‘We’ll turn you into a real person or you can wallow in your own misery. Choose’.

I nodded my head and let out a weak sound.

‘Yes’.

‘I can’t hear you. Speak up’.

‘Yes’.

A little louder, and my head went down to stare at the floor as I said it.

‘Try again’.

‘Yes’.

I nearly spit the word out.

‘On your knees’.

I blinked up at him, not sure what I had heard.

He slapped me and repeated the order. I fell to my knees. He pulled himself out of his pants.

‘Suck it’.

I had done this before, but I had never been ordered to do it. I was fed alcohol, seduced and even begged, but never had someone demand it. Thoughts plugged my mind like a head full of cotton balls. I opened my mouth and he slipped himself between my lips.

Not long into it, he pulled out of my mouth. He pulled up my chin to look into my eyes. He slapped me in the face, not hard, but with enough strength to make me pay attention.

‘Do it right’.

He put himself back in my mouth.

To be continued-