Miles Apart > Chapter 1 > Circumstances of kink

I remember this like it was a minute ago, but in reality it’s been years since his fingertips engraved every inch of me.Embark with me on this story of how Josh and I dismissed the fact that we were the same blood.—Me and Josh, although closely related, never met until I was eleven and he turned twelve. He is from a completely different continent, and our families are thousands of miles apart. They came over to visit Europe and decided to stop by our home. Josh and I didn’t talk a lot,  we just played around like kids usually do while parents were talking about adult things. They only stayed for one night at our place. That night, we checked his emails together and then went to sleep (I know we seemed young for the whole e-mail checking but apparently he had some important school stuff on there). Next day, he and his family left, and I didn’t think much of anything.Fast forward a few years to when I was in high school, lacking friends, a bit depressed and addicted to Chatroulette.Usually I’d come home from school, drop my bag, open my computer and change into my Chatroulette clothes – something not too revealing but not even close to decent. Usually a good push-up bra and a plain black tank-top, red lipstick, thin eyeliner and my hair would either be slightly curled, or, as I called this other style, Pornstar Pigtails. Either way, I felt hot and ready for all the sticky, şişli escort warm, nasty attention I’d be getting from these cokeheads on Chatroulette. Then, after a few hours of being eye candy and touching myself for those men – watching them drool for me and desire me like a forbidden element – I’d close my computer, take everything off, and finally (exhausted and happy) go to sleep. That was my way of getting the validation I never had in real life, the validation that I’m good enough.As I was browsing my phone before I went to sleep, I instinctively looked at the date.Hmm… I must be missing something, this date has a meaning, I know it. Oh. Of course, it’s Josh’s birthday!I knew that because my mom always mentioned his birthday and we’d call them and wish him the best, but today we hadn’t done that so I never gave much thought to it. Either way, I wanted to find a way to contact him, by myself, in order to send him my best wishes. I thought long and hard and I couldn’t get anywhere. Mom was asleep; I didn’t know his family’s phone number…But…Wait a minute.Fuck, I can’t believe I remembered his e-mail address! I thought as I started writing him an e-mail with the subject “Happy Birthday from far away”. The e-mail went as follows:Dear Josh,Happy birthday! I wish you all the best, I hope you start your 18th year in a healthier, happier and wiser manner. I know şişli escort bayan we haven’t talked in years, and this might seem sudden, but I’d honestly love to catch up with you and wish you a proper happy birthday over a video call.I’m looking forward to getting a reply from you : )You can find my skype details attached, I’d love for you to add me.Have an amazing celebration!Love,Your cousin Jane.Your message was sent.My heart skipped a beat when I saw that message popping up. I was wondering if I’ll ever get a reply, if it was the right address, if he’ll even consider me after all these years. Mostly if he’ll even care enough to reply, considering we’ve only ever met once and had close to nothing in common.Fast forward a few weeks. He ended up replying to me, adding me on Skype, and of course we had a few good calls that would last between four and five hours, in which we’d discuss our transition from kids to the full-on teenagers with a life plan. With each and every call I found him funnier, smarter, and just closer to what we’d define as “manly”. He got his shit together and I liked that. I started thinking about him and admiring him more and more every day. I also started appreciating his physical features, personality traits, facial expressions, and I just couldn’t get his gentle voice out of my head. And those charming ocean blue eyes. And that kissable mecidiyeköy escort mouth. And those sexy shoulders. Oh, god.And then it hit me. I was daydreaming about him, about how we’d be such an amazing couple, or how safe I’d feel engulfed in his arms under the covers; about how his lips could make everything around me disappear as he’d press them against mine. You see, having this wake-up slap back then felt like a train hit me. I mean, I was feeling all these things towards my cousin, who lives thousands of miles away. And he’s my cousin. For a moment I felt so small and so wrong, even sick for thinking these things. For a moment. After that moment, my nipples got hard as I started thinking of his touch. I just let that desire flow right through me.I started giving more and more attention to the way I looked before having a Skype call with my dear cousin. The whole pre-Chatroulette routine turned into pre-Skype routine. I’d doll up and send him a message saying “I’m here if you wanna call” hoping he’d be around and actually call. If he wouldn’t, I could’ve always turned to Chatroulette for my daily validation, since I was ready anyway.But he’d always call.This one time we were video calling, just casually talking, nothing special going on, until there was a moment of silence between us. Not the “I’ve run out of things to say” kind of silence, no. It was the “Wow, I’m captivated by you” type of silence. We were silent for a few seconds, looking at each other’s digital image on our dirty screens, until he said to me:”You know, I never realized how pretty you were. I think you look cute in that shirt.”