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I’ve known I was gay for a long time, since at least age 10. I grew up in a Christian home and tried as hard as I could to be good, so I hid these feelings from my family and friends. I was afraid of what would happen if I told anyone. In college I joined a Bible study right around the time I lost my virginity. I confided in a close friend About being gay and he was very caring, not at all hateful. He and I read a lot of books about what the Bible says about this and most said that someone like me, trying to be good, but attracted to men, should pursue celibacy. That scared me and I told my friend that it did.
He isn’t like a strong Christian, we’d make sex jokes, and curse, but he did go to this Bible study with me and didn’t have sex with his girlfriend, although he did tell me that they did pretty much everything up to penetration. He and I would hang out all the time and talk, he quickly became one of my best friends and I was glad that I could talk about my struggles and fears with him.
I also liked him because he was a very attractive man. We lived in the same dorm so I would come to his room sometimes and he would be shirtless. He was shorter than me, but much more toned. He had well defined pecs, sexy abs, and the thickest body hair I’ve seen up close on a man. He also had a well groomed beard, and beautifully sculpted golden hair. His voice was very deep for being short.
He and I would go work out at our school’s rec center and one time we were going swimming. In the locker room I was wondering if he was going to change in front of me, since he knew I was gay. He did, but he was facing away from me. All I saw was his muscly bubble butt that had a nice layer of hair. I am glad he was facing away though because he would have seen me staring and my boner growing. I ran to the stall to change and pretended like I was pooping until I could get my boner to go down. When I met him at the pool he asked if it was ok that he changed in front of me and said it was fine, I didn’t even look. He still used the stall the next time we met.
One weekend we were at a retreat together for our Bible study and at the hotel, he and I shared a bed. All night I was laying there trying to sleep, but listening to his hypnotic snores and smelling his manly scent. It was the first time that I longed to be with him sexually. I wanted to feel his beautiful hair, run my fingers on his tight body, feel his dick penetrating me. My lust made me want to touch him, so I did. I first lightly touched him on his arm to see if he’d wake up. He didn’t so I pressed harder and he still didn’t. I built up the confidence to feel his manhood. It was kind of small, he was flaccid, a lot smaller than me flaccid. I layed there a few hours and did this routine again. This time when I touched his dick it was fully hard and very strong. It was lifting up his boxers and even popping out of it a bit. I carefully lifted up the elastic strap on his boxers and put my other hand in to grasp his dick. It was amazing! I got really nervous so I stopped, but had to go to the bathroom to rub one out. I told him about this when we were both adults and he was cool with it haha.
From this point on, my desire for him grew so much. I wanted to cuddle with him, date him, feel him, pleasure him, and be pleasure by him. I wanted to love him. I was grieved that this could never happen though, because he was straight, and we were supposed to be good Christians being sexually moral.
A year later, we were closer than ever. We hung out most nights and had a lot of fun doing it. One night he was in my dorm room (I had a single) and we were playing video games. We stopped after a while and just started talking. I asked him how his now fiancé was doing, he said they were good, but she was worried they were going too far so they stopped doing oral and taking their pants off in front of each other. I laughed and said, “TMI dude.”
He said, “Sorry haha, you’re just my only friend I can talk to about these things.” I told him it was ok and grabbed a coke from my fridge.
He asked me how I was doing and I just shrugged. “Come on tell me!” He pressed.
I told him that I was really lonely in my singleness. I said that I was terrified by the thought of being celibate, by not being able to be intimate with someone I care deeply about.
He told me that he cares about me and thanked me for sharing. “Is there any way I can help?” He asked.
I jokingly said, “you could sleep with me.” I felt so awkward after I said that and was super worried that he would feel awkward too.
He snickered and said, “are you joking or are you serious?” antalya escort I said I was joking and blushed and got really quiet. He knows me really well so he could tell I was lying. He said, “it’s ok, you can tell me if you want to have sex with me.” This was so awkward!
I caved and said, “I’m so sorry but I am attracted to you in that way. I care about you a lot though and would never want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship. I didn’t want to tell you, I’m sorry this came out and I hope you don’t hate me for this.”
He looked at the ground and said, “I’m sorry, I need a minute.” He left the room without saying goodbye. I started crying a bit thinking that I just lost my best friend. How could he still want to be my friend if he knew I wanted him sexually? I started thinking about ways I was going to apologize and beg for his friendship again. I was going to tell him that I’d never think about him that way again and that he is too important to me to lose.
An hour later I got a knock on my door. It was 2am so I knew it couldn’t be anyone but him. It was and he walked in my room and sat down. He said, “I have some stuff I want to say and I just want you to sit and listen until I finish if that is ok. You’re my best friend and I love you like a brother. You could say anything or do anything to me and I would never stop being your best friend. That being said, I am straight and I do not love you like that and do not want to have sex with you.” I was relived that he still loved me and wanted to be friends but was definitely a bit sad at this statement, I had still hoped he would want me.
He went on to say, “that being said, I recognize that you are in such a terrible situation. I want to be married and have sex so badly, I wish my fiancé would go all the way with me now because I want it so badly, but I’m getting married soon. And I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling wanting to be with someone who loves you so badly while knowing that it can never happen. You must be so scared, lonely, and frustrated and I want to help you in any way that I can. I love my fiancé and want to marry her, I don’t want to cheat on her, but I think that if I do this for you as a friend, not because I want you, it isn’t actually cheating or I can at least pretend it isn’t. I don’t want you, I’m just helping you.”
I perked up as he said this and said, “wait are you…”
He interrupted me and said, “Please wait, I have more to say. Yes I am going to do this for you, and I thought a lot about how this is going to work. I know one time isn’t going to help you, so I am willing to make this a regular thing, but I don’t want to only be your sex buddy, I want to be your friend, so I am only going to do this one weekend out of the year for the forseeable future. I want to hangout with you often, but one weekend every year, we can set aside a trip to a nearby city or something to hangout, be friends, and then sleep together in the evenings. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get hard, but I figured I can bring up porn or something to help. Ok I’m done, what are your thoughts?”
I started crying and I hugged him. “I love you so much!” I said. “This is by far the most self-sacrificial thing any one has ever done for me!”
“I love you too,” he replied, “and I love you too much to let you suffer like this. I want this weekend to be the first weekend we do this, but every year we can pick one that works for us.”
“Can I just make one request?” I asked a bit pathetically.
“Go for it,” he said, still sounding nervous.
“This weekend will work great for me to take a trip, but if I may. I don’t think I can wait 4 days for our first time. Just this once, can we do one extra time, right now?”
He laughed at me, called me a horn dog, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips were moist and lucious. His breath was a bit rank, but I loved it. He stopped for a bit and said, “this is so awkward, but I’m going to keep going for it and hopefully I get used to it.”
“You will” I said while laughing at him. We kept kissing and he started opening his mouth. Our tongues met. I got into it faster than him, so I got onto his lap and started rubbing his tight pecs over his shirt. I could feel his bod hair even through his shirt.
“Lets move to the bed” he said as he quickly nudged me off of him.
“Let’s also take off our shirts,” I said.
We took them off and his body was sexier than it had ever been to me. His toned physique was clearly showing under his thick body hair. I had some hair, but not nearly as much as him. He got on fethiye escort the bed first and I got on top of him. I started kissing him again while rubbing his body. Our crotches met and I started rubbing mine on his. I was hard, but I could tell he wasn’t.
“Are you still ok with this?” I asked.
“It’s kind of awkward to be honest, but I can tell you are enjoying it and I don’t want to stop.”
I kept going and started licking his neck. I had sex 3 times about 3-4 years ago before I became a celibate Christian, so I didn’t have much experience, but I still remembered what to do to please a man.
My tongue moved down to his hairy chest and met his nipple. I started suckling it and bit it softly. “H-ah-holy shit!” He moaned.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“Yeah! That feels great don’t stop!”
I kept doing it and moved to his other nipple. My left hand was on his abs now and they felt great but I wanted to move lower. I grabbed his crotch and started rubbing it. I could feel a chubby through his pajama bottoms, but could tell he wasn’t hard. I knew it was going to take a lot to get him ready to fuck me.
I stopped suckling to remove his bottoms and he helped me get them off. While I was taking mine off he said, “I’m don’t know much about this, so I’m not sure what to expect. Especially this first time, I’ll need you to guide me.”
I told him that was fine and finished throwing my jeans on the floor. I started kissing him again and began rubbing his crotch with mine. I never expected to be making out with my best friend, my greatest love, in our underwear, but it was actually happening!
“I’m getting harder,” he said, “the friction helps.”
“I know what will help more I said as I stared into his eyes with what I can imagine was the most embarrassing sex face ever. I move my head downwards and placed my mouth around his dick in his boxers.
He moaned a bit and said, “just get rid of the boxers already!” I wiggled them off his legs and threw them on the floor. I took mine off too. I had felt his dick once before, but this was the first time I had seen it in all its glory. It was straight, semi-hard, natural hair, and gorgeous! I grabbed his balls, placed my tongue at the bottom of his shaft and slowly worked up to his head. I did that a couple more times and he started getting really hard.
“Guess you didn’t need porn,” I said just before sticking the tip of his penis into my mouth. I licked his head and took a breath. I then stuck more of his dick into my mouth.
I got it pretty far in when I was worried he was going to cum so I stopped and asked, “You aren’t going to cum yet are you? There’s still more.”
He said, “No I’m not, I used to get head a lot from my fiancé and it always made me hard but never made me cum.”
I just saId a quick, “Good” and kept sucking.
He moaned a few more times and grabbed my head. I started rubbing his body again. Soon I moved back to kissing him. I grabbed both our erect dicks and placed them on each other so I could rub them together while we kissed. I was a bit bigger than him haha. I looked at my wall clock and realized we had been doing this for about 40 minutes now and I wanted him to fuck me.
“You’re going to love this next part,” I said as I got off my bed and grabbed some lotion I usually use for masturbating. I put a good amount on his dick and started jacking him.
“Mmm, I love a good handjob,” he said, “that’s how my fiancé used to get me to cum.”
“This isn’t a handjob,” I said, “I’m preparing you.” I lubed up some of my fingers and stuck them in my ass. I was tight but loosened up easily. He watched me and looked a bit confused. It was cute, but I think he knew what was coming.
We were both ready now so I held up his dick, touched it to my anus and started pushing down on it. The tip went in easy so I started sliding further and got his whole cock in really quick. “FUCK!” He shouted in ecstasy. Then he said, “Woah wait wait.” And lifted his torso up to me. “Shouldn’t we like get a condom or something?”
I looked into his eyes and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not getting pregnant. Plus it wouldn’t be sex if you didn’t give me your man juice.” I was embarrassed that I just said, “Man juice,” out loud. He laughed a bit and started kissing me again. I think he was finally enjoying it, and I understand why. I haden’t been topped a lot so I must have been very tight, and he had never penetrated anyone before, not even a vagina.
I started riding him slowly. Lotion isn’t the best lube, but I loosened up eventually and could kaş escort start moving faster. “I love having you inside me,” I said to him.
He said back, “Fuck that is hot, now lay down, I want to fuck you properly.” We awkwardly tried to move into position without slipping out. I got down has he got up and I hit my head on the wall behind me. He laughed and grabbed my body dragging us back a bit. He grabbed my legs which were now in the air around him and started thrusting slowly. “FUCK!” He shouted again now louder as he stretched his muscly, hairy body in ectasy.
He slipped out once at first and laughed. I laughed too. “It’s harder to stay in you than I expected,” he said as he grabbed my lotion bottle and put more on his dick. He also fingered more into my ass. “This should make things smoother,” he said as he slid his dick back into me. He started moving really fast. I wished he’d slow down, but I could tell he was into it so I didn’t stop him and I loosened up quickly. He leaned down and started kissing me again. Our bodies met and I could feel his thick body hair scratching mine. I grabbed his butt and sucked on his tongue.
He stopped kissing and started moaning and moving faster. “Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuck!” He said as I felt a large amount of thick, warm liquid fill my ass, he immediately started kissing me while he was still cumming and he hardly slowed down his thrusts. “I’m still hard,” he said, “and this still feels so good!” I told him not to stop so he kept going with his jizz slightly leaking out of my hole.
“Turn around” he said. I listened and got up and flipped around to my knees. He fingered my ass a bit and said, “Sorry I cum so much, I hope that feels good.”
I said, “Trust me it does.” He jammed his cock back into my ass and started fucking me doggy style. He laid on my back and wrapped his arms around me as he fucked. He squeezed me so tight. He fucked for maybe 10 minutes when I again felt a rush of warm liquid being shot inside me.
He slowed down and said, “Fuck that felt so good.”
He laid on me and I fell on the bed now laying on my stomach. We were both out of breath, so he just laid on me panting with his cock in my ass until we both caught our breath. It was starting to hurt more so I asked him to pull out slowly and he did. He was still hard! He laid on his back with his hands under his head and I kissed him softly on the mouth and laid my head on his chest. He moved his arm down and held me tight.
“This is the most loved I’ve ever felt,” I said to him.
“I love you too, brother,” he said. I got up and kissed him one more time then laid back on his chest.
He grabbed a blanket that was on the floor and got it to place over us. It didn’t quite cover us so I got up and fixed it then took my place back on his chest.
“Thanks,” he said in a drowsy tone.
We were laying in silence for 20 minutes when started to hear him snoring. His little snores were so cute. I got up to turn off the light and laid back down next to him now. I think I woke him up a little because he rolled me onto my side and put his arm around me. I held his hand and fell asleep.
The following weekend was the best weekend I had ever had. We went to Chicago, we visited the aquarium and the pier. I help his hand for a lot of it. He was not only willing to have sex with me, but also ok with faux-dating during these weekend trips. He fucked me a few times both nights and even once Sunday morning. He got a lot better at it since that first, slightly awkward time.
Six months later he was getting married and I was the best man. We even shared a hotel room the night before his wedding and he fucked me once. I asked him if he had regrets, that night and he said, “None at all. You’ve seemed so much happier since we started this, and I can tell it is helping you.”
It has been six years now and we’ve changed a lot. I’m a bit bigger (I enjoy pizza too much), he’s a lot stronger because he still hits the gym. He also has two young kids now. We still live in the same town and go to the same church though, plus, we still do our one weekend a year deal.
Outside of that weekend deal, we hangout almost every week. He will come to my house at least once during the week to chat and play video games. Sometimes he comes over and I will start to see a pants tent form. I always mention it when I see it and he says, something like “Yeah I’m getting hard, can we hookup really quick?”
I can tell he really enjoys having sex with me now because he wants to do it more and more often. He is still straight, I think, but he definitely likes my ass and I think he enjoys the intimacy with me, his best friend.
He is my best friend in the world and I am so grateful for all the ways that he has helped me and showed me he cares for me. I wouldn’t trade our friendship for the world, and the sex is pretty great too.
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