Shrouded Longings

Jackson wore his navy blue trench coat to school, the same as every other day that he had the energy to arise from bed and join his peers in unenthusiastic attendance. His day was going by decently as of yet… he had seen Sarah twice already. Of course that was normal, he knew which routes she took through the halls from class to class and occasionally changed his so he could see her. Sarah was the girl he wanted to go out with, his soul mate as far as he was concerned. Jackson was continually annoyed with other people that could talk to girls about things so casually, he always referred to them as “the charismatic bastards” when talking with his friends.

Abruptly someone walked around the corner, catching Jackson in his thoughts he almost walked right into them. He didn’t appreciate the annoying people that walked blindly around corners… it was usually freshmen that had just come from 8th grade and assumed they owned the building. This time was different though, something felt odd. A split second went by while they stopped and looked at each other. It was Sarah. She looked startled having almost bumped into him. He blushed, embarrassed that he has almost gotten mad at her. Recognizing him she smiled, “Hey Jackson. Sorry about that, I had to go upstairs to get something and I don’t want to be late.”

“That’s alright, Sarah,” he assured her with a friendly nod, “No harm done.” She must’ve forgotten her chemistry book again, he thought, she hasn’t done that in awhile. He was thrown off by her sudden appearance and remembered that he had to be in class soon.

Heart still thumping in her chest, Sarah’s mind was racing as fast as her feet. I hope he didn’t notice me blushing, she thought. According to her, Jackson was the most attractive guy in their school. She had no idea how to talk to him. The butterflies in her stomach prevented any comprehensible conversation from taking place. She tried not to get too happy or her teacher would be mad seeing her walk into class smiling. He always put her in a good mood when she saw him though, and it was hard to resist smirking just a little.

Later that day at lunch she crossed Jackson eating with his friends Frank and Adam. Adam was singing something, “…like a blade, to and through the hollow.” Jackson snapped his fingers, “Dude, you’re retarded, you just said the name. That’s The Hollow, by A Perfect Circle.” Adam looked relieved, “THAT’S why it sounded so familiar. Didn’t you give me some songs by them awhile ago?” Jackson opened his mouth to say something, probably quite harsh judging by the look on his face, but then noticed her standing there watching them. “Oh, Sarah! How long have you been there?”

“Just a few seconds. That’s a good band by the way,” she said nodding at Adam. Jackson smiled triumphantly at him before turning back to Sarah, “That’s what I’ve been telling him. I sent him some stuff by them over the internet a few months ago, and he’s just NOW realizing how good they are.” She laughed softly, and then realizing her chance replied, “Some people just won’t leave their safe zone to appreciate real music. I wish sometimes I had someone to back me up when I’m talking to MY friends.” Faking a look of realization, she continued, “I know! Why don’t YOU come eat lunch with us sometime Jackson?” His neck snapped around looking at her again, “What!?” He exclaimed “Oh, er, uh, yeah! That’s a good idea! Strength in numbers, right?” She smiled happily at him, relieved. With that look on his face she had almost thought he was going to tell her “no way” at first.

– – –

That night Jackson found it harder than usual to get to sleep, he had to tell her. He took out a piece of paper and began to write her a letter. He poured his thoughts onto the paper relentlessly, hoping that his energy would transfer the emotions he felt, while at the same time, knowing that there was no way they could. Finishing up he realized that he wasn’t sure what to close it with, so it ended it, “Love, Jackson”. Yes, that seemed fitting. He turned his light off and rolled over onto his pillow, the silvery moonlight leaking in through his window, tossed streaks of luminescence across his face. He sighed, trying to think of what would be a good time to present her with such a powerful document, one that would begin the next stage of his life, whether it was with or without her. At least he wouldn’t have to remain silent for much longer. With that relief and sleep overtaking him, his thoughts turned to blackness and silence.

Alarm clock blaring loudly he opened his eyes to check the time. He still had 4 minutes before he normally got up to take a shower, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply he caught a glimpse of his trench coat laying on the floor by his door and was instantly awake. His eyes snapped open as he remembered what lay in the pocket of that trench coat. His fate. He felt his pulse speed up a few notches as he reached down to the crack between his mattresses, fingers searching for what he knew lie there. He smiled as he looked upon her face. He could do this. And it would be today. Looking escort ataşehir over at the clock once more, he saw that he was right on time, he replaced the picture she had given him last year to its place and grabbed some fresh clothes on his way to the shower.

– – –

Tapping his pencil on the side of his knee nervously, he tried to refocus on his math assignment for what felt like the 10th time that period. It would all work out great, he could hand her the letter without telling her what it was and just ask her about it later when she got home. This has to be the best possible solution, he knew he wouldn’t be able to speak aloud what he had written if his life depended upon it. He had made the right choice.

…Why then, was he so nervous?

Again lunch rolled around, finding Jackson searching out Sarah. She usually ate at one particular table in the cafeteria but today she felt the need to wander off somewhere. After a few minutes he found her eating towards the other end of the school in the entry way with some of her friends. They sat leaning against the wall with relative ease, talking excitedly about the day’s events, no doubt. Someone made a joke and they all reacted accordingly, the over-emphasized giggle. Jackson suddenly realized he was sweating and his heart rate shot up rapidly. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, he wondered. But before he had a chance to change his mind Sarah spotted him and waved at him. He nodded in return and headed towards them. She was wearing a small pink belly shirt and jeans along with her cute smile.

“Hey Sarah, reinforcements have arrived!” He said gesturing with a long bow. Her grin widened, threatening to split her face horizontally. He looked up at her and winked. Laughing aloud, she patted the ground beside her, motioning him to sit down. She couldn’t believe it, Jackson was going to eat lunch with HER! That in itself was amazing. But, the fact that he was sitting next to her almost caused her head to spin.

“What the hell am I doing?” Jackson thought to himself. “Since when do I have the balls to wink at people?” The only way to reduce his nervousness was to try and make her laugh. So far so good.

“Jackson, these are my good friends, Beth, Amanda, and Ashley.” Sarah pointed to each as she spoke their names. Jackson nodded at the first two and saluted Ashley. She giggled.

“Ashley and I have already met in the halls,” he said, “during one of my saluting sprees. She was one of the few people who actually returned the salute.”

“You go on saluting sprees?” Sarah asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Of course, the looks you get from people makes my day. Besides, I can’t have people thinking I’m completely sane, now can I?” he asked.

“I suppose not,” she said smiling.

After several attempts and still not making any progress at all with Sarah’s friends, Jackson announced that they were simply too stubborn. After condemning them to listen to ‘weak music lacking of true energy’ for the rest of their lives, they laughed as if he were joking. Shortly afterward they departed, having finished eating.

“Oh, by the way, Sarah. Do you think you could read something for me?” He said, trying to sound nonchalant. He hoped she couldn’t see his hands shaking as he reached into his coat. Steeling his resolve he pulled out the sealed letter and handed it to her.

“Okay,” she agreed, beginning to open it.

“Wait!” Jackson blurted so suddenly that she jumped a bit. “Wait until you get home. You’ll have more time then.”

“Uhh, sure…” she said slowly, glancing sideways at him.

“Well the bell is going to ring pretty soon, so, uh, I figured you could just, erm, read it when you don’t have to get to class. It’s not really that important or anything,” he mumbled.

“How about we hang out after school and I can tell you what I think then?” she suggested hurriedly. She was instantly shocked at her own words, but expectant nonetheless. He’d been acting strange all day, and now he was having her read something for him. It was as good a chance as any to try and do something beyond eating lunch together.

“If you want to hang out, that’d be awesome,” he said happily, “It’s not like I have anything else to do after school.” As he stood up, he was unsure of what to do with his hands. Should he hug her? Shake her hand? Pat her on the shoulder? Unable to answer his own questions, he resigned to plunging his left hand into his pocket while the other rested on the wall next to him. Looking down at her he asked, “I don’t have a very interesting house. Kind of boring, I’d say. Would you care if we hung out at your place?”

“Sounds good,” She said, nodding, “My parents aren’t around for a few hours so it’ll be quiet. And bring over some of your CDs too! I want to hear some of the bands you listen to that I haven’t heard of!” She called after him as he walked around the corner. With a final wave he disappeared around the corner, the bell toll echoing through the hallways.

– – –

Jackson drove over to her house feeling, for the first time kadıköy escort ever, that his trench coat might not be as cool as he thought. Everyone calling him a poser made him laugh, but what did Sarah think about it?

The door glided open, revealing a smiling Sarah. “Hello Jackson!” She said enthusiastically. He could tell she had read it, there was something about her smile that betrayed the nature of her thoughts to him, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what she was thinking.

“Greetings, Sarah,” he replied. He couldn’t help glancing down at her little belly button peeking out from below her belly shirt. Anything she wore looked amazing…

She spread her arms inviting him to hug her and he gratefully accepted. He wrapped his arms around her for the first time outside of his imagination. The two were incomparable.

It wasn’t one of those manly hugs you’d get from your best friend when they tell you that they’re going to college across the country and you may never see them again. No, this was a warm embrace of unmistakable passion. His body reacted as though he had been struck by lightning. Starting from his head he went numb all the way through for a second or two until feeling returned with a slight tingle. Nothing in life would ever be the same again…

She invited him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He accepted and she returned with a Dr.Pepper in each hand.

They both sat in silence for awhile, sipping their pop. Jackson had an idea and pulled out the CDs he brought over.

“I’m not sure which bands you listen to, so I brought all the ones I like best.”

“Oh, cool,” she replied.

“Umm, did you read the letter I gave you?” Jackson finally asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” she said. Unable to sit still anymore, she stood instead. He decided to stand as well.

“And?” He pressed as she walked over next to him. She placed both of her hand on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“And I thought it was great. I completely agree. You have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about you.” She whispered.

She took a step back and looked inquisitively into his eyes. There was no answer there, he looked as though someone had just shot him and he was about to fall to the ground. She waited a moment longer, hoping he would say something. Needing him to say something… When nothing came she decided to prod him some more.

“Jackson, why don’t you take off your trench coat? You’re going to be staying for awhile, right? I’d like it if you would.”

Jackson goggled in disbelief, this couldn’t be happening, “Sarah,” he managed, his mouth suddenly dry and his face so hot he knew it must be as red as a cherry. “You… aren’t serious, are you? B-because I wasn’t joking when I wrote that letter…” Solemnly she reached into her bag and pulled out a small blue book. Her diary.

“Nobody has… ever… read my diary except me. But, if you don’t think I’m serious, you can go ahead and look.” She fidgeted for a moment before shoving the book into his hand.

He glanced down at the book, rubbing his thumb over the rough surface before setting it down next to their pop cans on the table.

“I don’t need to read it,” he said. “I can already tell what’s in there from the look in your eyes. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Sighing with relief that she hadn’t been mistaken and somehow dreamed about reading that letter, Sarah smiled up at Jackson. “Like I said, my parents won’t be home for a few hours. I’m sure they wouldn’t have any reason to know if you stayed here for awhile and… kissed me.”

She melted into his arms, slowly conforming to the curves of his body. He kissed her tenderly, shyly, as if she would break. She opened her eyes and giggled, “Silly, I know you can kiss me better than that. You aren’t going to hurt me.” He nodded and kissed her again, deeper this time and with the force of his love driving the motion. When they broke she inhaled quickly, her lips still moving, as if searching for words. All she could manage was, “Better…” Their hug took them down to the recliner he had been sitting in, her knees suddenly too weak to hold her now.

He smiled at her, still not sure what to think, but never could he have been happier. Pulling her arms through the sides of her shirt, she drew it slowly up over her head, while watching his chest rise and fall quicker with each breath. Her chest lurched inside continually with a combination of longing and nervous energy. She wondered if her face was as red as it felt.

Again they kissed, sharing in each other’s desires and need. Legs began to entwine and hands became entangled. Lips parted slowly to release timid tongues from their cages of teeth. They took turns exploring inside each other before finally breaking apart. Connected now only by strands of spittle, their lips felt alone as never before. Gazing into each other, they breathed deeply, intoxicated.

She reached out and took hold of his arm, holding it tightly between her breasts she said, “Do you want to feel them?” maltepe escort bayan Jackson nodded and moved his hand to rest on her right breast. She smiled at him. Slowly he caressed her breasts, feeling the sensitive nipples with his clammy palms. He was surprised at how smooth they were, but the consistency was about the same as he had imagined… The bulge in his pants grew as the eternal war of flesh vs denim took place yet again.

She leaned over to lay down on top of him and slowly undid the zipper on his jeans. His raging cock sprang forth through the slit in his boxers and surprised her. She squealed and then laughed at herself before resuming her task of taking off his pants. Once that was finished she leaned close to his ear and whispered, “I haven’t done this before, tell me what feels good or bad.” He looked questioningly at her until she positioned her mouth over top of his penis, hesitating for a moment. Glancing up again her tongue snaked out, sampling his tip. He lay there watching her lick him, totally shocked. His first thought was that this was going too fast, but then he realized it was exactly what he’d been wanting. They were both eighteen years old, damnit, old enough to get married if they wanted to. Who could judge him for his feelings? After a moment she mumbled, “I asked you to tell me…?”

“Oh yeah!” He said quickly, “That feels great, Sarah, get the top too.” She flashed him a relieved smile and then licked the top of the tip of his quivering cock a few times before going back to the underside. She experimented with kissing it a few times before stuffing the whole head into her mouth. “OW!” He yelped, “Watch out for your teeth, hon.” she nodded as best she could without releasing him, and began to use her tongue again along with her lips. Jackson strained to hold back and make the moment last, but came in her mouth almost instantly with a loud grunt, “Ahhhhh, so good!”

Sarah, kept sucking as she felt his slick fluids coat the inside of her mouth, waiting for the orgasm to subside before she let his penis slide out of her mouth. Rushing to the sink she spit out his load and washed out her mouth. When she came back he was staring hungrily at her. His eyes, no longer closing her out, were now shining.

“That stuff tastes way different than my friends tell me…” she said her eyes roaming across him. “You’re still wearing too many clothes. I want to see your chest.”

He silently obliged her, shedding his shirt to reveal his less-than-impressive pecks as he slowly stood. He suddenly became self conscious as he realized what he was doing at glanced up at her face. She was smiling. It was then he knew that it no longer mattered how he looked, she loved him for who he was. He stepped forward to embrace her and wrapped his arms around her. He slid his fingers along her back, tickling the light hairs as he felt her nipples press into his chest, stiffened from arousal. His renewed erection pressed against her stomach eagerly, heating them both with its warmth.

“Come on upstairs,” she breathed into his ear, sending chills through him. “I’ve got a present for you.”

She slipped out of his grasp and headed for the stairs, pausing only to pick up the clothes strewn about on the floor. Jackson watched for a moment before following her up to her room.

When he went through her door, he could feel her presence surround him. This is where she sleeps, where she dreams, where she gets dressed and undressed every day. Sarah stood next to her bed, which was pretty big. Jackson decided it was probably a queen size. Her clothes hamper stood half-full on the other side of her bedside table, their clothes discarded in a pile nearby. On top of her dresser was a stereo and stack of CDs. The walls were nearly covered with posters of wolves, cats, and japanese anime. On the left side of her room, where the window was, sat her computer, perched on top of a desk that had more books on it than clear space.

She reached out and turned on the lamp upon her bedside table, adding a warm light to the fading daylight in the room. She didn’t know what to do with her hands as she stood topless before him. Their wandering eyes met and they smiled at each other once again. Staring into his sparkling eyes, which seemed to be searching the depths of her soul, she unfastened her skirt, letting it pool around her feet, revealing a pair of silk panties tightly gripping her crotch.

Jackson couldn’t seem to work his mouth as he stood there opening and closing it. She studied his face wondering if this was too fast. She decided it didn’t matter now, because he had confessed to her the very things she had been feeling for him.

“Can I feel you?” Jackson finally managed, obviously mesmerized.

Suddenly feeling shy, Sarah nodded, “But only on the outside of my panties.”

Not wanting to ruin the moment, Jackson decided to kiss her first. As her tongue came in search of its partner, he let his finger circle her belly button, creating goosebumps in its wake. Their breathing became heavy as Jackson finally let his fingers complete the journey down her body, let his hand cup her mound. He gently squeezed her and slowly began to rub in circles over the smooth fabric. Their kiss finally ended as she sighed and fell back onto her bed causing her well-formed breasts to jiggle at him.