The Hedges Pt. 02: Family Fortune

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Dear Michael, Janie and Sammie,

Your dad and I are having a great time in Toronto. We want to thank you kids again for sending us on this 20th wedding anniversary trip to the live taping of Family Fortune. I’m going to give you a ‘blow-by-blow’ account of our day there so you can understand just how exciting it is to see the show live. Finally we can answer some of those questions we’ve been asking when we watch at home.

It was such a special treat for you to get us tickets—I don’t know how you did it. The tapings are so hard to get into with the waiting list and all, but there we were yesterday morning driving down to the industrial area where the show is filmed. It took a little while to find it, but you know they keep a very low profile. After taking a couple of wrong turns we found the warehouse with the big ‘8’ on the door and we slipped our passes to the uniformed man behind a little glass window.

You can’t tell from the outside that the BEST-GAME-SHOW-EVER is taped in the building, but once we showed our passes and had the pat-down (a nice touch) from the security people we were directed into a very modern looking studio. We came in right on the top level and so we could see the whole familiar set laid out before us. It looks even nicer in person than on TV!

The padded rows of audience seats are very spacious. It’s kind of like the seating in your gymnasium at school but much more plush. They never show the audience on TV, so we wondered how comfortable the accommodations would be. I can tell you they are very appropriate for the show—more later on how appropriate! Right down at the bottom of the seating area is the stage set we all know; the two large, rotating circular platforms with Johnny Johnson’s podium in the middle, as you remember, and behind them the two spinner wheels and the scoreboard and the little runway where Ivanna usually stands. Your dad was real anxious to see her in person, but we didn’t see either her or Johnny for some time. What I wasn’t expecting was the bank of large TV screens above the stage. We never saw those from home. Of course there are a bunch of cameras on booms arranged around the set, but when we first came in there were just a couple of people moving around and setting up things in a very business-like way. Did you know there are gaps in the set where the crew can slip behind the scenes to do their work? Can’t see that on the TV, either. There was some classical music playing, of all things. I guess they want to remind us of the sophistication of the production and set a relaxed mood. Lord knows we were pumped up.

Other audience members filtered in over the next 20 minutes or so, until there were about 50 of us, I’d guess. Not as many as I thought there’d be, but enough. Dad and I took a seat right up close on the right hand side because we really wanted to see the contestants. We chose well. As I said, the seating is very comfortable and there is plenty of room to stretch out. The seats are like tiers of platforms really, or very firm double beds where the headboard of one is the foot of the next one up. We could sit with our backs to the padded headboard part without blocking the view of the people behind us. There’s a shallow stair that runs down the center and room for maybe 6 or 8 people on each side per row. Your dad’s got ideas from it about making some built-ins for our playroom.

I know I’ve told you a thousand times, but I’ll say it again: Show me a man who can make something beautiful with his hands and I’ll show you a man who can make a woman feel beautiful with his hands.

We hoped the rumors about Family Fortune were really true and were eyeing the couple beside us carefully, just in case. I noticed that most of the audience came in larger groups. It looked like most brought their families, which makes sense since this is a family show. The family beside us was really young looking considering it included a girl who had to be at least eighteen. You know the law in Canada.

By the way, I just want put in a good word for those sensible Canadian lawmakers who know when to mind their own business when it comes to allowing this to be broadcast on the public airwaves.

You know we appreciate your sending us here by ourselves, but we missed you. Maybe we can all come together some time—that would be really fun because, as we guessed, the audience gets way involved in the show. We didn’t just vote for the contestants’ performance, some of us got to try it right there in our seats.

This is an aside to Sammie: After you told me you’ve decided to give your virginity to me when we get back from this trip I find I am so much freer to imagine the fun we can all have together in places like this. You’ve already given me a great gift.

Here’s another interesting fact we didn’t know: the taping actually takes almost eight hours! Really, it’s understandable given the contestants have to orgasm so many times during the show. That was a terrific bonus since we got to meet a number of nice people and have sex with them that day. I was afraid the visit would be all too short, but it seemed to last forever. By the ataşehir escort bayan way, later it was dark enough in the audience that we never felt uncomfortable. It’s kind of like being at home in our own living room playing with Mike and Janie. It felt like everyone was watching the contestants under the lights or paying attention to their own partners and we could pair up with our new friends in a reasonably private way. Everyone seemed real respectful like that.

It helped that one of the producers came out to prep the audience. He bounced right out there on the stage in a pair of shorts and sandals. Did I mention they keep it real warm in the studio? You can imagine they would have to with everyone up there on stage naked, I guess, but it was more than comfortable for us, too. We were a little unsure about stripping off right away although we were getting pretty hot with excitement ourselves. Anyhow, your father kept grabbing me while we were getting oriented. We had noticed some others already out of their clothes, but thought they might be a little over-enthusiastic. It turns out they were repeat guests and knew the drill better than we did. As we soon found out when Barry, the producer, came out to give us his “warm-up” talk.

He said, you know, welcome and glad you are here, of course, and then he laid out the rules. They were something like this:

1.Be patient because there are lots of breaks in the filming. We could get refreshments from the staff who would be walking the aisles with supplies. Plenty of time for bathroom breaks. NO ALCOHOL, this is a family show. But be sure to be in our seats when the cameras roll!

2.Be enthusiastic about the performance of the families—it helps them. No booing; this isn’t the WWF. And stay off the stage—some have been too enthusiastic in the past.

3.Be fair when scoring and try to make it more than a popularity contest. The families work hard and do lots of preparation for this.

4.Pace yourself if you make love in the audience and remember, ‘no’ means ‘no’. Standard Lifestyle rules apply.

5.There were some more things I can’t remember now.

Well, we went ahead and shucked the rest of our clothes while he read the rules out and by the time he was done we and the other family in our row (Hershel, Tawny and Blythe, by the way. They say, “Hi!”) were comfortably unclothed. I didn’t feel strange at all. Somehow the vibe in the room was natural—we knew we were with kindred spirits. Looking around I could see pretty much everyone was in the buff and getting ready to really enjoy the day. The woman right behind us looked to already have impaled herself as she sat in her hubbie’s lap. At least it looked that way from his smile. Her daughter was distractedly stroking the mom’s long, sloping breasts—she seemed too wowed by the surroundings to give it all her attention…yet. There was a boy there, too, but he was looking still a little shy. I can report that I know for a fact he got over it.

The folks bringing the drinks made their rounds then. They set out buckets with ice and bottles of that Natural Orgasmics EVER-UP Energy Beverage. You know, the one that says “When Performance Matters!” in the ads. We each got our own tube of JizzyLube, too.

As I said we didn’t feel uncomfortable naked. Neither did Hershel, who leaned over and introduced himself and his wife and daughter. He’s an average height black guy and she’s about the same height with lighter skin. They both met while working as accountants for a firm in Toledo. Blythe is her (very dark) daughter from “another life” Tawny likes to say. She’s eighteen and very animated. She really was friendly, but I find most of our kids to be especially extroverted and comfortable socially (with the exception of you, Sammie. I hope I’m going to help rectify that when I get home!). We made the proper gestures of welcome to let each other know we were open to getting to know each other better. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean……

After that the lights went down over the audience and the two performance platforms rotated around so the curtains covered them. We could hear people moving back there with some shadowy shapes to show us where they were getting set up. It seemed to take forever, but maybe that’s because we had been waiting so long for this moment. I was trembling and sweaty. I know your dad was excited too, because his pecker was especially proud. He was oozing a little and I took a drop with my finger to taste. I gave his little man a pat of reassurance. Dad pulled me close for a hug and a kiss and I felt all squishy ‘down there’.

Of course, we are all familiar with the opening routine for the show. First, the music started slow and quiet in the dark, then the lights gradually got brighter and the music got faster as the intro (brought to you in part by Natural Orgasmics!) rolled on the big monitors. The tasteful silhouettes of couples in various ‘flagrante dilecto’ poses that line the back walls slowly became clearer as the music built to a crescendo. Just then, Johnny Johnson bounded onto the stage in that signature way that he escort kadıköy does, his unnaturally large meat swinging between his legs. You know, it’s just as impressive in person, although he looked shorter than I thought he would. I like the way he is so entirely comfortable and natural in the nude. And right on international satellite TV, too. The audience was indeed enthusiastic and cheered him and did much clapping. It took a couple of minutes for him to quiet us down. I noticed Barry “shushing” us from the side, too. We were one horny crowd, hardly able to contain ourselves, as you can imagine.

Johnny welcomed everyone in the studio audience and those watching at home and told us all how great a pair of contestant families we were going to see. “But first!” he said, as he always does, “Let me introduce the lovely Ivanna!” Your dad was so edgy I thought he might spurt right there, but as she strutted her red-headed self across the stage to plant a long, slow kiss on Johnny’s lips, dad just squeezed me all the harder. He moaned a little under his breath, I swear. You’d be so happy to see the joy this gave him.

Well, Ivanna was wearing just the dog collar and leash with the black high heels that day. I wish I had the breasts to carry off that outfit, but I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied with the fuzzy slippers you kids gave me at Christmas. I don’t know why it is you all think I’m sexiest in my nightgown and slippers, but so be it. We can’t all be TV stars. Of course, she and Johnny were movie stars, too. I mean, that’s what gave them the experience to host this show. Johnny Salami and Ivanna Bendova…..We’ll never forget them in “The Taming of the Screw” will we? What a couple of pros! Now, that was before they came out as brother and sister and caused all that ruckus.

It was a fine day when they got tossed out of the adult film industry because that’s when they became such vocal advocates of Family Love. I’m glad we have them as leaders in this movement. They set such a good example of how loving and caring a family sexual relationship really is. Take away the secrecy and you take away the shame and judgments. Oh there I go on my soapbox again. Sorry, but you know me….

Anyway, Ivanna gave Johnny her patented full-body smooch and then swaggered over to her place by the spinners. Johnny swelled very noticeably. We all shouted and clapped again…. and had to be quieted again. Says Johnny, “First let me introduce the current champion family on Family Fortune—Paul, Sun and June, the Collins family!”

Slowly the platform on the left circled around to reveal the folks we’ve been cheering all these weeks and boy did they look as nice in person as on the TV. Paul is as tall as he appears and it’s not just because his wife and daughter are so short. We all know how he brought them home from Korea where he was stationed in the Army and saved both of them from a life of prostitution. It was noble the way he got religion and went back after all that time, found them and made them a real family again. That is the mark of a truly noble and honest man. I get teary thinking about it.

You can see how much June favors them both. She’s a bit taller than her mom who hardly looks any older — it’s so hard to tell with Asians, don’t you think? I liked the way they set themselves in a tableau for the introduction. When the platform turned we could see daughter June lying back with quite an arch to her body as she sprawled, arms over her head, across Paul’s legs. He was leaning back on his elbows and looking lovingly down into his daughter’s eyes while Sun lay with her head on June’s tummy and kicked her right leg up in a coy way. Her straight black hair spread over June like a blanket so you couldn’t hardly see her. The Collins’ are getting really good at presentation, concealing everything so as to tease us. It’s easy to see why they are the champs, IMHO.

After the cheering died down, Johnny spoke again, waving his arm at the right hand curtains, “Ladies and gentlemen, from the great prairies of the Midwest, where corn is king and families who play together, stay together…..Let me introduce our new challengers, Sally, Todd and Luke, the Gustafsons!” Well!, a blonder, all-American family you never saw as was revealed when the stage turned around. Standing in the middle of the platform was a really fit and trim woman with ash-white hair in a ponytail. She clearly was one of those aerobic nuts the way you could see every little muscle under her skin. Nothing I could ever be. Sorry, I was a bit jealous, she looked so buff. For a moment it distracted me from the men who were flanking her. Now, they were a bit taller, but not a lot, and she had them well in hand. I should say, she had their members in her hands as she stood there between them and they were good and hard. This showed a lot of balls, pardon the pun, for their first time on camera. I wouldn’t wonder the woman had been working on them a little while they waited behind the curtain.

The father and son looked athletic, too, with the same sun-blond hair and muscular builds. I was looking for the stray bit of straw bostancı escort from back on the farm to be stuck in their hair. Oh, I’m not being fair. It’s just that they struck me as a little too bold in their posture like that. No finesse, just standing there with all on display right away. No class. You can guess how I scored the first round—Collins 9.5, Gustafson 3.0. Your dad gave ’em a higher score. He’s a guy, you know.

The scoreboard soon showed the score as:

Collins 635 Gustafson 890

Johnny Johnson took a moment to remind us all of the rules of the game. Briefly, as far as I remember them. Of course, you’ve seen the show, so you can fill in any I’ve forgotten.

1. No contestant to masturbate themselves (unless specifically detailed in the action received on the spinner).

2. Points are given for style, artistic merit, originality, degree of difficulty (judged in advance as a factor as in the Olympics). Each orgasm is given 50 points. (multiple female orgasms with same partner are counted as one).

3. Points are deducted if male ejaculation is internal. Double points if orgasms are mutual, i.e, within 15 seconds of each other.

4.The time limit for each round is 10 minutes.

5. Each round has a rising level of challenge and thus higher scores.

6. Each female contestant wears an Orgasm Band on the arm to confirm that an orgasm has not been faked and a judge will provide a visual inspection, if needed, to check for internal male ejaculation.

7. Lube crews are standing by ready and able to assist if requested by contestants. All are reminded to monitor themselves for exhaustion and chafing.

Then it was time for Round Two. The spinner was labeled with various simple sexual positions.

The Collins’s chose June to spin the wheel and she got “Cunnilingus” with a degree of difficulty of “1” and bounced happily back to her family behind the curtains that had closed over the rotating platform to consult for the mandatory 60 seconds to plan their performance while the ‘up close and personal’ segment was shown on the big screens. We learned that the Collins’s favorite apres’ sex activity is to watch old Hollywood musicals while sharing a bowl of popcorn. They like to sing along with their favorite tunes, too.

Then the platform rotated back around and they were displayed in all their classy beauty. In a graceful circle the family draped themselves with mama Sun lying on her back, her upturned face toward the audience and June on her side with her mouth on her mother’s pussy. Then father Paul with his tongue buried in daughter June’s snatch and, to complete the circle, his cock in Sun’s little mouth. This was an easy one as could be expected for an early round. The scoring would come on strength of style and mutuality of orgasms. I was definitely rooting for them as they got on with it.

So we’re sitting there watching them enjoying each other with your dad on my right and Hershel on my left. Tawny was snuggling up on Hershel’s left with Blythe down on the end by herself just agog at the action right in front of us. I had my hand wrapped around your dad’s erection; just squeezing a little cause I could tell he was so very, very excited. I looked over at Tawny and made a gesture with my hand so she’d know I was asking permission and she nodded ‘yes’ as I grasped Hershel’s erection, too. Tawny set her hand above mine and kept a bit of her possession of him clear. Hershel’s a little more than a three-fister! You know I don’t judge a man by his size, but variety is one of the nice things about this lifestyle. He had a good girth to him, too, that sent a quiver of anticipation through me. Tawny and I watched the Collins’ performance while keeping the men from coming too soon. No easy feat considering how excited we all were but she and I seemed to have a pretty good psychic connection going.

Tawny and I look a little alike. We’ve both got the “grapefruit-in-a-sock” type of breasts, as your dad calls them, very heavy, full and round with nipples that point upward–the kind that sway when we move. And she’s got her hair cut short like mine so it doesn’t get in the way.

I didn’t look back but I could hear some serious slurping noises from behind us. Somebody was wasting no time getting to the main event!

As for myself I had that electric feeling of heightened arousal that I just love to prolong. You know what I mean, Janie. It was just fine that no one was touching me. I did need to squeeze my knees together occasionally, though, just to give myself a jolt. I could feel my slipperiness and the warmth spreading up my body without even touching myself.

It didn’t take June long to climax—the monitor went off the scale after only about a minute and a half of Sun’s licking her. She took her mouth off of her father to whimper while pulling on his wet pole. Moaning, she took him back into her mouth again eagerly and the big screen showed a close up of her lips and tongue working him. She didn’t bob her head up and down, but just sort of kept him in deep and let her tongue and throat massage his jism out of him. When he shot he went real tense and kept the hip thrusts to a minimum. She let his fluid run back out from the corners of her mouth and puddle at her fingers all white and bubbly. Paul shuddered through his orgasm, squeezing his fingers into Sun’s thighs as she straddled his face.

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