A Closet Faggot’s First Time

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I’m not a writer. This is my first story. It is totally true. Forgive my poor writing style.


My name is David and I’m a closet faggot. I’m 32 years old, work a boring office job and live alone. In high school and college I had a few girlfriends. They would blow me on occasion and let me fuck them, but even then I knew I wasn’t enough of a man to satisfy them. The relationships didn’t last long. They probably only lasted as long as they did because the girls were young and inexperienced and didn’t know what they were missing. I haven’t touched a girl that wasn’t getting paid to touch me since I was 21.

Looking at me, most wouldn’t guess I have a barely three inch penis. To be clear, that’s three inches hard. 6’1″, 220lbs. I’m fairly good looking. No one now looks at me and guesses I’m so inadequate, or that I wear women’s panties. Thongs and g-strings mostly. At least I don’t think anyone would guess that. They probably also wouldn’t guess that although I pretend to be straight, I’m really a faggot bottom.

It’s strange. I’m attracted to girls. I suppose I want to be one more than I want to be inside of one. When I see a pretty girl, the thought of fucking her does nothing for me but the thought of her fucking me with a very large, preferably black strap on drives me wild.

Speaking of black cock, I’m obsessed with it. I’m not attracted to white men. Only black. I think about it constantly. The dark skin. The attitude. The muscles. And of course, the cock. For the last few years, I’ve only had black cock.

My first cock was white. I was maybe 24 or 25 at the time. I don’t really remember when I started fantasizing about it. It just kinda transitioned. I do know that when I would watch guy on girl porn, I found myself more and more wanting to be the girl, whereas a straight man would want to be the guy.

At first I would go into chat rooms. I’d have cybersex with men. That got boring fast. Then I moved on to phonesex, something I still love. I’m big and tall with a deep voice, but on the phone I pretend to be a flaming fem. I love making real men cum over the phone.

Anyway, my first cock. I met him on a phonesex line. He lived near by and we spoke for months. This was before I was pretending to be fem. With him, I did faggy things I’d never done before. I bought my first dildo on his orders. I would suck it while on the phone with him. He’d make me suck it soft and slow or hard and fast. I learned to deep threat on that dildo. It was black and life like and 9 inches long. He loved making me choke and gag on it. He wanted me to fuck my ass with it but I told him I wasn’t ready. demetevler escort He wasn’t happy but accepted it. After months of talking he gave me an ultimatum: meet him and give myself to him completely, including my ass or he’d never speak to me again. After agonizing over it for a few days, I decided to go through with it.

He invited me to his house. He was exactly as he described. White. Taller than me…about 6’3. All muscle. So much more man than me. That was obvious. He let me in and told me to strip. I did. When I got down to the pink lacy thong I was wearing he told me to stop and leave it on. He told me to kneel in front of him. He told me not to speak unless spoken to. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it. But the look of him. The smell of him. His tone. His power. I couldn’t resist. My pathetic cock was pushing against the soft fabric of my thong.

He was wearing a skin tight black t shirt and jeans. His muscles clearly showing through the shirt. My eyes were down. I was terrified. He just looked at me. After a few minutes or maybe longer, he told me to look up at him. I could barely meet his gaze. He was so intimidating. As soon as my eyes met his, he slapped me. Hard. I yelped but stayed where I was. He told me to look at him again and slapped the other cheek. Over and over again until my eyes were tearing up.

He told me to look up at him again and his eyes burned into mine. He asked me what I wanted. I didn’t say anything so he slapped me again. He asked again and I said I wanted to please him. He asked why. I said because I’m a faggot. He slapped me and said say it louder. I yelled I’m a faggot. He unzipped his jeans and pulled out a half hard, beautiful, thick, veiny cock. Circumcised. Big head. Big heavy looking shaved balls. He told me to smell it. I breathed in deep. He moved forward and pressed his cock against my face. He told me not to move and keep my faggot mouth shut. He rubbed his cock all over my face. It got harder and bigger and thicker and longer till it was bigger than my dildo.

He backed up and looked at me. He said suck it. It was finally happening. My mind was in a haze. I leaned forward and opened my mouth. He just stood there. He didn’t move. I had to open my mouth much wider than with my dildo. I took the head in my mouth. The skin was velvety soft. The taste. No words can describe the taste. I took it in. My tongue under the shaft. I took as much as I could till it was pressing into my throat and I backed off, a long string of saliva from my lip to his cock. I took it back into otele gelen escort my mouth wanting so bad to please him. Wanting so bad to take it all. I sucked it back and forth, in and out. Getting it wet. Trying to take it draper each time. Without warning he put his hands on the back of my head and he shoved his big cock balls deep down my throat and held me there. I couldn’t breathe. I was gagging so hard. His massive girth stretching my throat. Tears streaming down my face but he held me there. Spit leaking out the corners of my mouth. I thought I was gonna pass out and he let me off. I leaned back on my knees, struggling to catch my breath. Long thick ropes of spit from my my mouth, my faggot mouth to his now dripping wet cock. Without being told I went back on his cock. Madly sucking it. My saliva lubricating his cock and my throat and I took it deeper and deeper till I took it to the hilt on my own. In and out. All the way down. Still gagging but not wanting to stop. Drooling all over myself.

Finally he pushed me away. He was breathing heavy. I sat there on my knees, my saliva all over my mouth and chin and chest, even soaking through my panties. He said he wasn’t ready to cum yet. He said he wanted my ass. Before that day, nothing had been in my ass. Not my finger. Not my dildo. Nothing. I was scared but I knew I couldn’t stop now. I knew he wanted to fuck my virgin faggot ass and I was terrified. But I wanted it.

He told me to get on all fours and I did. He kneeled behind me and pulled the string of my thong to the side. I felt so exposed. He spit on my asshole. My head was down. Still catching my breath. He spit again and I felt it running down my crack and onto my balls. At first he just pressed a finger against the hole. He didn’t push it in yet. He spit again. Then it happened. I felt his index finger entering me. Going inside my ass. It didn’t hurt. Not yet. Just a strange, kinda full feeling I’d never felt before. He pushed it in and out. Then the pain came when he pushed two fingers inside me. He finger fucked my ass like that for a few minutes. The he took the fingers out and I felt so empty. I wanted them back in. Suddenly I smelled them. He parted my lips and pushed my fingers into my mouth. The taste was…not good. But he pushed them into my throat where his cock had just been. I gagged on his fingers till they were coated in my spit and he shoved them hard back into my ass. He pumped them in and out hard.

Then he took them out. I moved towards me and pressed his cock against my hole. He asked if I was ready. I said yes. He asked balgat escort if I wanted it. I said yes. He told me to scream it. I screamed yes. Please fuck me. Please fuck my faggot ass. And he did.

He pushed his cock into me. He was not gentle. He pushed deeper and deeper. I’ve never felt such pain. It resonated through my body. I felt like I was on fire. I felt his hips pressing against my ass. He held it there. He leaned over and whispered into my ear. He told me I’m a faggot. A whore. He told me that’s what I was. That I wasn’t a man. He was a man and I was a faggot. And then he fucked me. He fucked me like an animal. His skin slapping against mine. I screamed. The pain was constant but the pleasure was there too. He was sweating. Dripping onto my back. He fucked me for so long without stopping or slowing his pace.

Then his thrusting became staggered. He slowed. He told me he was close. He told me he was going to fill me with his cum. I wanted it. I needed it.

I felt his cock throb inside me and the warmth of his cum. A mans cock was in my ass and as shooting cum into me. I was a faggot. It wasn’t a fantasy or a game anymore. I was a faggot and I wanted it. He filled me up and slowed. Slowed more and finally stopped. His cock still balls deep inside me. He pulled out, came around to my front and shoved his filthy cock down my throat. I slobbered all over it like a greedy whore as I felt his cum leaking out of my ass. He pulled it out of my mouth as I gasped for air. He told me to squat as he stood in front of me. He told me to push his real mans cum out of my faggot ass onto his hardwood floor and I did. I looked down and there was so much. He pointed at it and didn’t say a word but I knew what he wanted. I put my face up to it and lapped it up like a hungry dog. Slurping it into my mouth. Tasting his cum and my own filth.

He sat down on his couch catching his breath. I stayed on the floor kneeling. My head spinning. My pathetic cock sticking straight out leaking precum. He looked at me with disgust and told me to play with it. I did and took maybe thirty seconds to spill my load on the floor where his cum had been. He pointed again and I knew what to do. There was so much less of my cum than his and I quickly lapped it up.

He got up and walked away. Without looking at me he told me to get the fuck out. I got dressed and got in my car. I felt disgusting. I saw my reflection in the rear view mirror and I looked disgusting. My eyes red. My lips swollen. I looked like a faggot who had just been fucked. I knew this would be the first of many times and it was. It’s been 7 years now since my first cock and I couldn’t count how many I’ve had since. I meet them online. They fuck me like I need to be fucked or I suck their cocks if that’s all they want. All the while I lie to my friends and family about being straight and hooking up with girls. I don’t think they believe me but I don’t think they suspect I’m really a faggot cumdump cock addicted whore.

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