A Learning Experience Ch. 08

Amateur

“She” had been disowned by a bigoted Father, and rebuked by her Psychiatrist, claiming she’d never appreciated anything he’d done for her. Of course that last part wasn’t true, but her father had just tried to kill him with a baseball bat before any of it had been said. In any case… feeling terribly angry towards everyone and everything just then, she wanted nothing more to do with either of them. Yet here she lay… incredibly ill and in need of a Doctor. It brought out her stubborn streak, keeping any forgiveness from seeping into such a damaged vessel as a wounded woman’s heart, yet hers had been far too poisoned to feel anything anyway. Considering she’d been born male, it seemed she was now only capable of acting like a genetically programmed bitch.

But none of that mattered, as there just wasn’t much left of little Josie on that hot and muggy night in the lonely Center City church to which she had fled. The shadowy entities that were huddled around her this evening were hardly of the heavenly variety. They knew that they had managed to trick her into abandoning everyone and everything she had ever loved to somehow prove to an unholy judge that she was as good as any woman in existence. It was a fevered brain that now saw a friend as someone to be avoided… rushing her head long into stranger’s arms for those burning feelings that only the hottest and cruelest sex could provide her with… making her slip farther away from any reality… or sanity… “she” may have been able to cling to.

She… was me… for in my own confused and deluded mind, I had brought myself here. The entities I saw encircling me were my own self hatreds that had become self destruction personified. Laying in that cot… watching them pick over me as if I were a piece of meat being tenderized for a final meal. This was to be my end… I was now facing a very real Hell, one constructed especially for me… and I could see it just as plainly as any horror I had ever faced… yet could do nothing about. I was also now hearing their laughter… they chuckled about how neatly I’d been fooled and brought low for their amusement. They mocked my pain as they spit out my only hope… I would need to be found by an Angel of Heaven in the next 24 hours. It would have to be one who had known both my male and female forms, and would have had to love me in both forms as well. I knew who they meant… I had made the most gentle women in the world, hate me for all time. I had abandoned my Melissa, refusing that most precious of life’s gifts… true love, indeed… was any human more truly doomed?

When suddenly she was beside me… as if by magic. For even these powerful entities hadn’t realized what the greatest power on earth was truly capable of. Love… so perfected through acceptance… Our Love… could overcome even the very foulest misgivings of a deluded and painfully confused mind. Arriving as the dawn, my Melissa now flew to my rescue. The most perfect of heaven’s Angels threw off the dark entities that had bound me to my self imposed purgatory. Bringing with her a perfected light that now emerged clear and bright before a starlit morning sky… invigorating this unworthy whore’s eyes that had never seen such beauty so perfectly framed. She had come for me, and I would live… but I also knew… I would never be the same.

Dreaming and hoping, hoping that dreams come true,
You’re my religion, girl I’ve been living for you.
Don’t want to fight it, tried everything I know,
I won’t deny it, you’re everywhere I try to go.

Maybe I’m dreaming, don’t want to wake up now,
Baby, I love you, I always knew it somehow.
Thinking about you in everything I do,
Love is for giving, you know I’m just livin’ for you! (Livin’ For You – Boston)

*****

I awoke with a start hearing the driver’s side door close in front of me somewhere. Mel’s eyes were closed as well, her breathing a soft, slow rhythm, matching our languid peaceful embrace.

I was hearing other car doors opening and closing now, and as I peeked out over my sleeping Angel I could see that we had finally reached home. Their home, my beautiful Melissa and her Sister Cindy’s home in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I still wasn’t sure of what my future might be, but I knew that whatever was to come… it would only be with Melissa by my side.

I now saw Cindy, and the older woman I had first seen at the homeless shelter, get out of the car. Walking to their front door, Cindy unlocked it, allowing them inside, and light appearing from small translucent window panes next to the kitchen told of their need after a long car ride from the center of Philadelphia. Yet even with a throat like the hardest sand paper… there was something I needed to know. Mel and I were alone in the back seat now, her beautiful sleep-filled eyes spilled open and her usual megawatt smile broke through the darkness as I croaked out my simple query…

“Melissa… why?”

Her eyebrows reacted first, knitting together as she pulled her pretty head back… blond curls that smelled like heaven itself must have when it was first created. Then she cocked her head erzurum escort to the side that showed her initial confusion, but recovering quickly she began to understand. However even that was reduced to unimportance as it dawned on her that I must be feeling better.

“Oh baby, I’m so glad you’re alright! I’ve been SO worried… you’re gonna be fine now sweetie, just,” and now a tear came, quickly followed by more, “please don’t ever leave me alone again… oh Josie I nearly lost my mind!”

I shook my head, I had hurt her terribly and Mel’s grip on my ribcage, the same ribs that had just been bruised while rescuing my friend Simone, was causing me even more unintended pain, if that was even possible. Of course these were two very different types of pain, but I needed to know why this beautiful woman had obviously continued to love me, and search for me.

“No, I am sorry m’love… but,” I coughed to get the dust of the old garage, kicked up from the gunfight with that crazy pimp, out of my lungs, “I mean… why’d you come back for me… when I…?”

“Oh,” she paused now, looking down, then refocused onto my eyes, “Josie, I can’t begin to know what you went through these past few months, but I knew it was awful, and I knew you were hurting terribly. So… I decided I had to hold our love… for the both of us… for a while, and I began looking for you. I also decided that whenever I found you, I would release you from that vow of love you made to me if you still felt you wanted to leave me… but it would have to be with us looking into each others eye’s… because Josie… I know you still love me… don’t you?”

Once again my tears spoke for me as all I could do was nod in agreement, but then I remembered there was one other thing I could do and I kissed her gently on her lips, but quickly felt frustrated as I realized I had to try to say what needed so badly to be said… and so just above a whisper, “Never dared hope you might still love me… but I always loved you Mel, please believe that.”

“I know, shhh… no… no more talking now, I love you Josie, always have & forever will.”

Just then Billy opened the door next to me and once again wrapped me up in a blanket and bundled me into the house. Smitty opened the other door and helped Melissa get out after being wrapped around me for the whole trip, we were both very stiff and sore. All of their faces showed a terrible worry for my well being and I knew I needed to thank them. I decided the best way to do that was to show them I would be alright… and I would do that with humor, as usual.

“God Billy… we HAVE to stop meeting like this, people are starting to talk!”

Because he had brought me into this house once before like this after my rape, he got the joke as did everyone else, but it was only after he laughed that everyone else also laughed, and I knew they would relax a little now. Within a few minutes I was resting as comfortably as possible in the guest bedroom and everyone had said their good-nights it seemed, except Mel and Cindy. Mel appeared a few minutes later with a glass of ice water, and a small bowl.

“Here ya go babe… some cold water and a bowl of ice chips,”

I accepted the water with a moan and long sigh as I drank it down.

“Easy now… sip it honey, your system needs to come back slow and easy after what you’ve been through… here, suck on a couple of these,” as she gave me ice chips to suck on. Of course I couldn’t help but want two other things of her’s to suck on , but then realized I must be in better shape than I thought I was! Miles had followed us upstairs, and now saw my smile as a way to say his goodbyes.

“I must go now, my Mistress”

“But Miles,” I said, leaning up on my elbow, trying to make sense of it all, “how did you get involved in this? You couldn’t have known where I was…”

“Oh, well that’s easy enough,” he replied, “I saw Charlene walking home, as I have so often, and I asked her if she needed a ride, and on the way there she told me everything that had happened and that everyone was out looking for you… they were very afraid for you Mistress.”

“I see,”

“Mistress Sara was kind enough to offer her services while you are ill,” he explained, “so please my Mistress, listen to these lovely ladies and get well. It seems you have many who love you.”

“Certainly,” I coughed, then smiled and continued, “more than I thought.”

“Bonne nuit Maîtresse Joscelyn!”

“Bonne nuit mon cher!”

Mel got up to go looking for extra pillows for me, but as she stood up, I saw her motion to someone in the hallway. Smitty walked in softly, with an almost embarrassed look to himself. I realized, now that I could see him plainly in the room lights, he looked haggard and pale. Far from the the robust biker and soldier… and lover… I had known. Mel was holding my hand and as Smitty came up next to her, she encouraged him to sit on the bed next to me. She then took my hand, and with a smile and very purposeful motion, grabbed his large hands and placed my, much smaller, hand within them, before patting his shoulder ghpops.com and leaving the room.

Watching her go, he turned back to me and said, “She’s a pretty special young lady,”

“Don’t I know it… I’ve got a couple very special people in my life it seems!”

Once again seemingly unsure of himself he replied, “God Josie… its just so good to see you back home again… I thought… well, that is… oh sweetie, I was so sure they’d killed you!”

I had never seen this man show this much emotion… and it both impressed and alarmed me. I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed it, then held it to my cheek.

“Oh Smitty… they can’t kill me, I’m a survivor… and a protector… just as you said I was. I had to come back… Mel came and found me, and told me she needed me. Protector’s… well, you know how it goes, that was all I needed to hear… I’ll be her protector forever now.”

“I’m just glad my lil’ Sister came home honey.” he said with that killer smile, and I knew no matter how tired he looked, that smile was as genuine a love as I would ever see in this, or any other life. But I also knew it wasn’t from lust. We had shared that certainly, but it had changed that night with the talk we had, we were best friends now. I would care about this man always… but not in the way I had at first thought. Smitty and I had bonded in a very special way. Student and teacher, he had helped me survive and I knew it was all he had been trying for… he’d used his abilities to bring another protector into the world, and we would have that connection for the rest of our lives.

Now Cindy came in with a very serious look on her face and a small bottle of pills in her hand. Smitty leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, before patting my hand and saying good night. He then nodded to Cindy and made his way out of the bedroom.

“Josie?” she began, “I’m not sure what all might be wrong with you… so you know honey… you’re gonna need to see a Doctor!”

“No!” I already knew where this was going, “I never want to see him again, not ever!”

“Alright…” she sighed and looked me straight in the face, “Your temperature is 103.6, and that’s so far above normal I had to tell ‘him’ I was taking you straight to the hospital! Now… you don’t want to see Doctor Goldmann… Fine… you’ve told me you won’t go to the hospital… Great… well honey, you need help or you’ll die, and I’m sorry but Mel just won’t allow that as an option!”

“So,” she now cocked her head as her right eyebrow was drawn high up into her forehead, “what’s it gonna be Princess?”

I hated it when she called me that, and she constantly called me by that name while she was training me as a Novice for the Sisterhood. Unfortunately challenging your Mistress during a training session is automatic grounds for serious discipline, so I had to put up with it there, but not HERE!

“Cindy please! Stop calling me that!” I whined.

“Calling you what honey?” she said sweetly wanting to hear me say it. Now she was just trying to get me angry… and it was working… but I also didn’t want to drag this silliness out anymore.

“Princess!” I sighed, “Why do you call me that anyway?”

“Are you shitting me?” those dancing green eyes suddenly shone with an energy that I had to admit I’d missed over the last few months, “You HAVE seen yourself lately, right?… wait a sec…”

She jumped up and retrieved a hand-held mirror from the bathroom and swung it down right in front of me, so I couldn’t look away. “Look…” she said, before straddling me and holding hands weakened from illness and fighting down over my head with one hand, and forcing me to look at myself in the mirror she held in the other, “I said LOOK!”

I was annoyed, but was also very tired, so I relaxed and just did what she asked. Hopefully her tirade would be over soon. I watched my reflection as she rambled off on her speech.

“You’ve been taking care of yourself… or someone has,” she winked, then continued, “and the estrogen… Jesus, look at those curves!” I saw my C-cupped ladies peeking out from behind my nightgown. I was seeing the changes she was forcing me to see, the changes I had tried not to notice. My lips had grown in fuller like ripe cherries around straight white teeth. The two small operations I’d been able to afford at the little public health clinic had been successful, they had temporarily broken my nose, then the surgeon removed my Norman hump, and repackaged it to give it a nice little pushed-back ski ramp effect. It had taken over two weeks for the bruising to fade after basically having my nose broken once again, but it had been worth it. The trachea shave left a pretty neck with so little scaring as to make it seem as if I’d never had an Adam’s apple.

And I noticed one other thing… and Cindy wouldn’t have to point it out… yet at first I had done it like this because she was the only female body that came to mind. After carefully sunbathing on the roof of the garage in Mantua for weeks, my skin was a seamless light mocha color that made it appear I’d been born with it this way. My hair had grown out to well past the middle of my back, the same as Mel’s, and if it were dyed blond again, from the platinum it was now… then softer curls.

I sighed once more as I realized that what I had subconsciously done, was make myself into a twin for my beautiful Melissa. After Mel’s growth spurt this summer, we were even within an inch of each other in height, and as Cindy described, the estrogen had done it’s work well. I suddenly seemed to have Mel’s cute bubble-butt along with hips that I had simply never owned before. Plus I had worked hard to improve my skin’s texture with very expensive (for the tight budget of a streetwalker) salon visit facials and massage. She was right, in less than a year’s time, starting out as an nerdy 18 year old male car mechanic, I had transformed myself into the 19 year old diva we were now examining in a hand held mirror. Cindy let my wrists go and lowered the mirror, placing it on the headboard.

“My God Josie, can’t you see what you are now? You’ve transitioned into one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, to say nothing of turning yourself into your lover’s twin! Hell… she looks more like YOUR Sister than mine! And you seriously wanna know why I call you princess… huh?… Princess?”

I had no choice now, I was forced into an eye-roll, before another long sigh brought out a long giggle from my tormenter. But I suddenly also knew who I needed to see at this point. It may end up being one of the biggest mistakes I’d ever make, but I was absolutely never going back to see that ass…

“Doc Maher” I said curtly.

“Huh?”

“My old family doctor… Doctor Samuel C. Maher, M.D.” I explained in full detail to make my point that this was someone I’d known all of my life. Well… all of my male life, anyway.

Cindy looked at me with her half-smirk until my eyes shut against my will, while a short hiss passed by my lips, as I sucked in a terrible combination of cold air and serious pain. Followed quickly by the highest pitched cry I could ever remember having the ability to make.

“I thought estrogen couldn’t affect your voice,” I groaned, trying to laugh at my latest pain.

“Yeah… well they never knew anyone takin’ the super economy size,” she threw back, but now had a much more serious look in her eyes. She then popped the top off of the little vial in her hands. I had no doubt where the pills inside had come from… but in this case… well, my pain wasn’t picky.

“Here… take two of these to start with… lets see if we can’t get ya to sleep… alright?”

“Sounds like a plan… aw… shit!” but once again my pain was hitting me in my back with all the punch of a heavyweight fighter overdosing on steroids for years.

My beautiful Mel walked in with more pillows than I would have believed possible for one person to be carrying, but as I spit out my last comment, I could no longer hold back either my yelps or tears and the pillows went in all directions as she dove onto my bed to be as close to her crying lover as it was possible for her to be.

“Oh Baby!” she exclaimed, kissing me… just everywhere… on my body that was available for her to kiss, followed by a few that weren’t, then went back and started the process over again… and I was in terrible pain… but I have to say… I can’t remember any of it… only those kisses! And suddenly my cock… which had made no effort at all to let its presence be known up until that moment… came alive and Melissa showed her usual ability for understatement…

“I could just eat… you… up!”

Cindy moved to the doorway to watch her Sister give head to her platinum haired twin… well, she was in most aspects… save one difference in sex organs. But it soon became obvious what part of my body was not only different, but wanting her utmost attention as her mouth absolutely enveloped my cock and spent several minutes kissing and licking, then swallowing it completely. I must also admit that after so long without her tongue paying homage to it, my cock was appreciating the attention. But, and this was a little sad for Mel, the many months of estrogen, while not preventing it from performing, had an effect. I noticed that my erection was smaller now… not weaker, it was very hard… but it seemed to simply have… shrunk. Perhaps by as much as an inch, but it was definitely smaller. Mel never seemed to notice and was as excited to be giving it such wonderful attention, as I was to be on the receiving end. And Mel had lost none of her ability, as I was screaming into one of the pillows she had brought as my eventual orgasm marched ever onwards to its ultimate end!

One, two… five hard streams flew out of me and as usual she got every drop… and what wasn’t swallowed she curled her way up to give me in her usual snowball kisses, sharing my cum and loving every bit of her, and me, in that yummy mix. But while it was still fun to give her this thrill, I noticed the taste had changed. My cum was more liquid now, thinner… much thinner than I had remembered it being. I gave her many more kisses after that to show her how happy I was to be back in her arms. But soon enough, the pills Cindy had given me were working, and I fell asleep while giving her beautiful mammaries the kisses they deserved as well.