Acting Out Patience

Invalided from the army and the dry heat and horrors of Afghanistan, Dan Mason wondered how many times life was going to kick him in the teeth. First, Janet, his wife, he found had run off to Belgium with a rich businessman. Having to surrender the army house, Dan found a basement flat, two rooms with shower and toilet. A dump really, but weeks of scrubbing and painting made it acceptable.Job hunting proved unsatisfactory. Then, luck, or fate, took a hand. One evening in the local pub, Dan chatted with a grey-haired, middle-aged man, Joe Marske, who listened sympathetically to Dan’s Afghanistan experiences. Getting onto Dan’s employment difficulties, Joe’s brow had furrowed. “Does your wound bother you now?” he asked.Dan flexed his left shoulder, “Medics said it would never be right. Well, after over a year, I’m hardly aware of it. What work do you do?”“I’ve been assistant stage director at the Alhambra for over twenty years.”An undefinable spark tickled inside Dan’s chest, “That must be interesting work.””It can be,” Joe sipped his beer, before asking. “Would being a stagehand appeal to you?”Dan was instantly alive with enthusiasm. Before the army, he’d enjoyed many shows at the Alhambra. Joe held up a restraining hand, “Don’t get too excited. It’s pretty menial work.””More menial than shelf stacking?” Dan asked.Joe laughed and went on to warn Dan that some experience was preferred, but the stage manager, Sam Murphy, had sympathy for discharged servicemen.Within two weeks, Dan was learning the general rudiments of scene shifting. Moving tables and chairs on and off stage were menial, but Dan didn’t mind. Being involved was fascinating. To witness, and be part of, the preparations for a performance caught his imagination.As the weeks passed, he became more proficient at his job. He was allowed up into the flies, the high platforms from which curtains and backdrops were operated.The work was enjoyable, but gradually the magic of the theatre ate into Dan, capturing his imagination. He was enthused as he watched actors performing with such bravura and confidence.Dazzled by it all, Dan regretted never following-up the exciting experience of acting in a school play before leaving high school. Instead, he had joined the army and nearly had his arm shot off. Good thinking, Dan.Browsing in a second-hand bookshop, he bought a cheap dog-eared copy of ‘The Works of William Shakespeare’. At night he would sit and read aloud in the quiet of his lonely flat, fooling himself that he sounded professional.When a week’s performance ended, the stage would be cleared completely. One night, when most hands had left, Dan, heading out, passed one of the curtained stage entrances. The completely empty stage was still dimly lit.Laughing to himself, he made, ‘his grand entrance’. More purposefully, he marched to the stage centre. Uncertainly, he did some arm waving, before, almost unconsciously, words he’d spouted in his school play burst forth. “My Lord, I could be well contented to be there in respect of the love I bear thy house-“Easy, to empty seats, but what if it was a live audience? Despite those doubts, the thrill of doing it remained, and he continued, louder and with applied anger—”He could be contented; why is he not then? In respect of – “Hands clapping behind him had Dan turning, his face flushing. Joe Marske was standing there, his head nodding, but an appreciative smile on his face.”Wow, Hotspur from Henry the Fourth. Are you catching the acting bug, Dan?”Dan admitted how working the Alhambra had stimulated him.Joe told him how impressed he’d been. “You really fancy acting? It’s never too late. You’re how old?””Twenty-five.””Talk to Mrs Garson.” Joe said, “The theatre funds her amateur group. It’s a studio around the corner, but you could catch her here tomorrow. Their annual in-house production is this week. Sunday is always final rehearsal day.”Dan asked, “Will she take me?””I’ll put in a word for you. She’s a charming lady.”Wow, getting into acting, the prospect excited him.Sunday arrived, so did anticipation. Dan was there early. Around lunchtime, actors drifted in and soon the stage was buzzing as small groups formed. Dan was wondering which group might contain Mrs Garson when Joe arrived. “The lady is just over there, Dan,” he said, pointing to where a large middle-aged lady, grey-hair and stern-faced, was addressing a small circle of actors.”Come on, I’ll introduce you.”Then a voice called out, “Joe, a quick word.”Sam Murphy, stage director, was standing rear stage, beckoning. “Good, he’s smiling,” Joe murmured, “Go on, just introduce yourself. She’s expecting you.”Strangely nervous, Dan moved across the stage. By now, the small group had almost dispersed. The large lady was talking to a smaller trim figured woman whose fair hair was pulled back into a ponytail.His eyes fixed on the darkly sour face of his target. Cold eyes looked beyond her companion noting his approach.”Excuse me, Mrs Garson?”Her dark eyes gave a slight glance towards the other lady, whose head was already beginning to turn. Before they were face to face something interfered with Dan’s nerve ends.As she turned fully, she was saying, “I’m Mrs Garson.” Delicately formed lips smiled at him before the smile faded. But that smile, the wide blue eyes, the way her cheeks sloped to a delicate chin, had Dan gazing stupidly at her.So beautiful. Had any woman ever affected him so instantly? All the sound and movement faded. The big lady excused herself and moved away. Everything drifted away.For a few seconds, they stood there looking at each other, until, she said, “Call me Connie. You must be Dan. Joe told me about you.”Dan stammered a response, “He said you might – have room for me—in your group.””My groups are very flexible,” she told him, the smile returning, charming Dan further, “Joe said you were very keen—and quite impressive.””He exaggerated,” he said, “But I do wonder how I might cope.”Within ten minutes they agreed, given his work times, he could be involved on Tuesday evenings and on Sundays. His excitement slumped when he learned there would be no sessions that week, because of their theatre performance. They’d be part of his work all week. This gave Dan so many opportunities to look at that wondrous face, as she directed her actors every evening. Although he had to concentrate on his job, it was Connie Garson his eyes constantly found.He controlled his imagination when he thought she glanced in his direction. Yes, you wish, he told himself.A married lady, with such a delightful face, and lithe sensuous movements that thrilled him, Connie Garson was beyond his reach. He would lie in bed, see her face and curse himself for this infatuation for a lady he hardly knew.That second Tuesday he read the sign, ‘The Acting Studio’, on Escort Anadolu yakası the door. A flight of stairs took him into a large room above a drapery shop.Chairs against the wall and a piano standing in one corner left the central floor area clear. A mixed group of maybe twenty, evenly split in both in gender and age. And there was Connie Garson, delightful in her ubiquitous tight black pants and clinging white T-shirt, smiling her greeting, before introducing him to the group.From that evening, and for subsequent weeks while trying to not to stare at Connie, Dan played a number of improvised roles; a Nazi prison camp commander, a nagged husband, a visiting social worker, a street beggar. His early efforts were uncertain, but, wallowing in Connie’s honest praise, his confidence grew. He happily watched Connie demonstrate how a role might be improved. She was so talented.After his prison commander role, Connie told him, “Joe was right. You were so convincing.” Her words gave him such a glow.But it wasn’t just her words. Were her glances more frequent, her smiles, more spontaneous? Or were they all in his wild imagination?When he told Joe about how helpful Connie had been. Joe said, “I told you, she’s a smashing lady. It’s such a shame.”Dan frowned and asked what he meant.”Oh, you won’t know about the accident?”Dan shook his head, “She had an accident?”“Not her. Her husband, Max, owned a couple of car franchises.”Joe went on to tell Dan how, being a speed freak, Max Garson had, one late evening, smashed his Harley Davidson into the back of a tractor on a country road bend. “He’s been in a coma for nearly six months.””God, that’s terrible.” Dan could not explain the range of mixed emotion that hit him. “Will he recover?”Joe’s head shook slowly, “Connie told me the medics gave little hope. Max’s mother though, refuses to have the life support switched off, despite their advice. So, Connie visits near every day. I really feel for her. Such a lovely lady.”Not long after that shock revelation, came the session that really broke the ice.Sundays were usually dramatic readings, but Connie told them that the first part of that morning would be improvisations. Always non-critical, her corrective performances were always accomplished and helpful.When his turn came, Dan was paired with Linda, a quiet, young lady, and Connie’s instructions were specific, “Dan, you are a soldier returning home after nine months on duty,” she said, half smiling.Dan smiled back, as Connie addressed Linda, “Linda, you are the highly frustrated young wife, wildly eager for his return. And I do mean wildly. All right?”As Connie sat with the others, Dan opened the room door as though entering, trying to think up a satisfactory opening line. He slammed the door, and called out, “Strange man in the house! Anybody want to kiss him?”Connie’s nod of approval warmed him. Then Linda hurried across the room, arms outstretched, declaring, “Adam. Oh, Adam. You’re home at last.”Dan accepted her embrace, but Linda turned her head, so they were kissing each other on the cheek, before their lips, tightly clenched, met in a dry kiss.”No, no!” Connie’s voice broke them apart. She strode purposefully towards them. “You’ve been longing for him, Linda,” she said gently. “Watch. From the door again, Dan.”Would she do it? Dan’s own hand trembled as he held the door. Then he slammed it and repeated his original line. Instantly, Connie was rushing towards him, arms outstretched”Oh, God, Adam,” she cried, and Dan found no time for anticipation before Connie’ s body slammed wildly against him, her thighs pushed between his, her arms wrapped tightly pulling him closer, as her parted lips found his.How long was that kiss? Dan had no idea as their mouths meshed together, moistly searching, warmly giving. Briefly, their tongues met, and the insides of Dan’s cheeks tingled under the spell of her. Ah, the land of dreams. There were a couple of ‘Wow’s’ from the group, as Connie’s hips wriggled against himGod, what if he had an erection right in front of everybody?But then, too quickly, it was over. As she stepped back, Connie’s blue eyes momentarily held his, and, among applause from the group, she turned to Linda and said, “You see, Linda. Passion. Be wild for him.”Linda’s second attempt was better but was more like being kissed by a snowman after Connie’s display.After lunch, the afternoon was back into the Sunday routine of script reading. As much as he loved looking and listening to her, Dan’s mind was searching the significance, if any, of that kiss, so hot, so genuine.Was he creating a false scenario in considering the event? Connie’s tragic circumstances only made him respect her more, even though she still quickened his breathing. Hell, hadn’t he, from the first, decided that being close to her was satisfaction enough? But, oh, that kiss!When the afternoon session ended, Connie formally dismissed them. More chairs were scattered around the floor than usual, and Dan, along with one of the men, helped place them back against the wall.His co-worker bid his farewells, and Dan was just placing the final chair when the changing room door opened, and Connie emerged to take his breath away. He’d only ever seen her in tight black pants and T-shirt.Now, a pale blue dress emphasised her shapely body. Her hair was loosened and framed her face as it fell short of shoulder length. She looked surprised at seeing him, as she explained, “I have a hospital visit after every Sunday session.” Dan had never stayed long enough to see this transformation.”Ah, yes, your husband. Dan told me. I was sorry–“She nodded rather curtly and cutting off his sympathy, she asked, “How come you’re still here?”Dan pointed to the chairs, “Scene shifting.””Oh, that was good of you.” She came nearer. Too close, Dan was thinking, as those wonderful eyes held his, her delicate perfume filled his head, and a sense of magic heat reached out to him. Her next question only added to his emotional unease.”Did my kiss embarrass you earlier?”A key moment. To lie, to pass it off, or to reveal something of what he really felt, which could it be? There was no real doubt. Boldness, be my friend.”I didn’t want it to end,” he said bluntly. Instant pinkness blossomed on her cheeks, with a surprised ‘Oh’ shape on her lips. Quickly he added, “You’re a convincing actress.”Her head turned away towards the high window, and then she turned back, “Suppose I wasn’t acting?” Sheer joyful surprise, as she stepped back quickly, saying, “Oh, God, I shouldn’t have said that.”Dan didn’t want to let this go, “Yes, you should. But only if it’s true.”She shook her head, her fair hair swayed fetchingly across her cheeks. She glanced at her watch, “I must go, but we need to talk. Kurtköy escort And soon.” Her eyes were wide and honest as she said, “Would you let me buy you a meal this evening?”Dan’s heart was about to burst out of his chest. Keeping his hands to himself became a real problem. “No, but I will go half and half with you.”She shrugged, “If you wish it that way. You know the Raven on Harvey Street?”Dan did know it, although he’d never been inside. They agreed six thirty. For half a second, she hesitated, before adding, “Dan, it’s just to talk. Understood?”Dan had no memory of walking back to his flat. What a development. Did she really care for him? She was a married lady, living in tragic circumstances maybe, and Dan had no wish to take advantage of that. Most likely she would put him in his place.Dressed in a dark green jacket, matching pants, and green shirt, at exactly six twenty-five, Dan pushed open the double door of the Raven and mounted the stairs up to the restaurant, where a neatly dressed waiter’s eyes lit up when Dan said he was meeting a Mrs Garson.”Ah, Mrs Garson. Of course, sir, this way, please.”Connie, gorgeous in a pale lemon dress, was already at a table for two set in the corner where two windowed walls met. Her smile was warm without being too revealing. Dan told her that her dress looked lovely, adding, “A touch of Spring in September.””You are good at finding the right words,” she said, waving to the waiter.”Only this time I’m not improvising.”Her smile faded as she said, “We’ll eat and then we do need a serious talk.” Dan could sense the slight chill that came over her mood.Their pork meal was delicious, and, they had one glass of Chardonnay each.As they ate, Dan learned that Connie had a Master’s degree in drama and dramatic theory and that she’d had one or two small parts in television dramas.Over coffee, Dan knew he had never seen that beautiful face so serious. “First let me tell you the facts of where I am now. All right?”“You’ve obviously given it plenty of thought,” Dan told her. Whatever hopes he had for this evening were very remote. He leaned forward to show she had all his attention.Connie drew in a deep breath and began telling how she had not known what a speed addict her husband was, heading out almost every other night, and coming back all highly elated. Then one night not coming back at all.Dan told her what Joe had said about the accident. She nodded gratefully, “Lovely Joe. He was such a good listener when I could talk about it.” Dan detected the crack in her voice, wanting to reach out to her. When she finally raised her head, she said, “Six months.””People often come out of comas,” Dan said, hoping to be soothing.Connie took a sip of coffee as she gathered her thoughts. “Months ago, the two physicians told us there was little chance of Max ever coming out of it. The trauma of the brain damage was bad enough but in Max’s case – “Her breath shuddered in her throat as she went on, ” – In his case, because his heart had stopped briefly, meaning no oxygen to the brain, resultant anoxic damage added to the traumatic injury and gave little hope. The agreement of both families was essential before they could remove the life support systems.””And you refused?”The corners of her mouth drooped, as she replied, “Not exactly. Max’s mother, Vera, a dear lady, asked if he was actually brain dead. Minimal areas of activity, the doctors told her.”Connie reached out and placed her hand over his, as she said, “Oh, Dan, I loved Max, still do, I suppose, but I could not bear the idea of him living on in that state, all the paraphernalia attached to him like puppet strings. It’s hard enough now. So, I gave my permission – just to give him release.””So how is – ?” Dan began to ask but knew the answer before Connie said, without any bitterness, “Vera refused, if any brain activity remained, she would pray.”“You still get along with her?” Dan asked.“She is such a dear lady. We remain friends. He is her only son, but it is a knife in my heart every time I visit. Sitting there, seeing him, only not him, with all the life support stuff. And then came the unexpected blow – “”What was that?”Connie’s eyes were looking out of the window at the darkening skies and the city lights coming on. “A lovely evening. Could we walk by the river?”Dan liked the romantic sound of that. Walking towards the exit, Connie made a scribbling gesture to the waiter, and he nodded. Outside, Dan asked about that, and it was good to hear her slight giggle as she admitted, “Oh, I have an account. On the slate until the end of the month.””You sly lady.”The river reflected the early lamplight. They walked towards the two main bridges. Couples strolled hand in hand, and Dan wished they could do that, but needed to ask, “You mentioned an unexpected blow.”Her eyes fixed straight ahead, Connie said, “Oh, yes,” Her pause was tantalising.”And?””The unexpected blow was – you.”Her answer stopped Dan in his tracks, “Me?”She turned and faced him, her blue eyes shining in the fading light, “I’ve wondered how to tell you. I’d accepted my situation. Nothing could disturb that. Then, on that stage, I turned, and you were standing there. My insides turned to jelly, and my resolve was destroyed.””I’m sorry,” Dan said, feeling a mixture of elation and regret.”Maybe I should have refused your request.””You can still do that,”She took his arm and said, “Let’s walk some more. It’s getting chilly.”Delighted at the warmth of her hand on his arm, Dan immediately slipped out of his jacket and placed it over her shoulders.”Thank you. You see, it’s already too late for any change.””I’m not sure what you mean.””I feared believing, as you often glanced in my direction.””I must have been pretty obvious.””I kept hoping you weren’t attracted to me.””But I was.”With an uncertain smile, she squeezed his arm and went on, “I had to be sure.”Dan stopped and turned her to face him, “You set it up, didn’t you?””What?””That kiss. I didn’t dare believe you had. But to choose Linda – “Connie half smiled and shrugged, “Deliberately bad casting.””Just to demonstrate. Right, my turn.” And firmly but carefully he turned and forced her into a nearby arbour shrouded in ivy. There was a park bench set in there, but he stood, drew her close and kissed her with all the passion he had felt over the weeks.Her mouth moved willingly against his, her lips parted and, so quickly, two tongues were tangling madly. Connie’s hands raked up and down the back of his shirt, and Dan didn’t care that his rising erection was pressed against her twisting belly, as a low moan escaped her throat.God, he wanted her so much. His right hand slid down the glorious curve of her waist, over her hip and back up to her armpit. Without even thinking Maltepe escort bayan about it he allowed his hand to slip under his own jacket, and he was cupping a breast. Oh, such an exquisitely rounded breast. Her belly made much play of increasing his hardness.Connie was making strange noises through their kiss, and suddenly she pulled her mouth to one side and buried her face in his neck. Her body jerked, and that, along with the sudden dampness on his neck told him that she was sobbing. Gently, he eased her away from him.”Oh, I knew it would be like this.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks.”Connie. Connie. Please, sit down.” She did and Dan snuggled beside her, one arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t expect to make you cry.”Sara’s tear-filled eyes regarded him “But, Dan, this is the reality. I’m not a person who can have her husband lying comatose while I’m—doing – making it with another man.”Dan squeezed her hand gently, “Well, for me, that makes you a very special lady. They call it faithfulness.””From the moment you appeared, I feared I might be tested like this.””May I ask you a question?” Dan said.”Of course.””Will it make it easier for you if I stay out of your way?”She leaned in against him, “No. No. I can’t face the idea of that.”Dan nodded, “And neither can I. It would mean I’d have to stalk you.”Connie gave a slight tearful laugh and hugged into him, before her face became serious once more, “I’ve had a lovely evening. Could we keep it at this level?””This level, you mean?” Dan asked, before leaning in and placing his lips gently on hers. Connie’s lips were immediately welcoming, but they each managed to keep the kiss gentle. When they broke Dan said, “I’m sure I can live with that.””But for how long? It will be, oh, so frustrating,” Connie warned.They agreed their feelings should be kept out of the group sessions. “No favouritism,” Connie smiled weakly. They agreed they could meet daytime Tuesdays, and after Connie’s hospital visit on Sundays.Limited, but as Connie pointed out, “Too much frustration could be bad for you.”So, they started their bizarre but beautiful romancing. Tuesdays, Connie would drive them out into the country. Lunch in a quaint little inn, before they walked hand in hand through a wooded area, where seclusion prompted the exchange of passionate but controlled kisses.Sundays, after drama sessions, Dan accompanied Connie on her hospital visit and sat in the park-like grounds until she came out. One time, Dan asked if Vera knew about him.Connie shook her head, “Vera is such a sweet lady. But might misinterpret.”That pattern continued, but their ardour needed greater control. Whenever they kissed, Dan sensed the heightened excitement in Connie. Heat seemed to emanate from her every touch.Dan allowed his hand to slide, as it had once before, onto an incredible breast, covered by the thin material of her dress. Connie’s belly continued to flex against his hardness. Then she broke the kiss. She was panting heavily, gasping, “God, Dan, I don’t know.” Dan felt her hand gently guiding his away from her breast.”It’s becoming heated, and faster, isn’t it? How long can we—you – stand this frustration?” And saying that her hand dropped to stroke over the bulge in his pants. Now it was Dan’s turn to gasp. He looked into her eyes.”Would it help you if I handled you to some relief?” He felt her fingers tighten their grip. “That wouldn’t be desertion, would it?”Such a decision. Yet Dan was cool enough to recognise the dangers. God, he felt like a Mother Superior as he moved her hand away, and said, “Connie, remember why we have to hold back? Think about it. Next hospital visit, how would it be, if we succumbed to our feelings?”Her lips trembled as she said, “You’re right, of course.” And she started to weep silently.Dan held her head gently against his chest, his fingers riffling through her hair. “Don’t upset yourself further. I’d say we’re pretty good friends. That’s some solace.””You are so good for me.” And a weak smile curled her lips as she added, “You’re not a saint, are you?”Dan hugged her, “No, I’m not. And someday you’ll learn that. In the sweetest possible way, of course.”Driving back, she whispered, “When I first mentioned frustration, I was thinking of you, but didn’t realise how much I’d be tested.””But that is wonderful for me to know,” he told her.Two Sundays later, events took a massive turn. Weather uncommonly warm, Connie chose to sit outside with Dan before her visit. No complaints from him, just holding her hand and Connie snuggled into his shoulder. Perfect.Visitors headed in and out, “Guess whether the next one out is male or female,” Connie laughingly challenged and leaned to nibble at his ear. Suddenly she sat back straight hissing, “Oh, God, there’s Vera.”Dan saw a tall, lady, smart in a neatly fitted green suit, just pushing open thehospital doors. “Did she see you?””I’m sure she glanced this way. I’d best go in and find out.”She scurried away, and Dan so wanted her free of this shackle. Opening the Sunday paper, he had just started to read, when a figure blocked out the sun, and a female voice said, “M. Mason?”Surprised, Dan looked up. The tall lady in a green suit needed no introduction. He leapt to his feet.”I’m – “”You have to be Connie’s mother-in-law.”Her head nodded, “I hope I haven’t disturbed you, Mr Mason.””Call me Dan.””Then please call me Vera. If I may have a brief word?””No problem. Please sit.” She sat on the bench with Dan sitting alongside. He wondered how this conversation would go, as he said, “Connie tells me that she is very fond of you.””I respect her greatly. May I be frank, Dan.”Dan nodded, “I would expect nothing else.”Vera’s face suggested uncertainty, “I must tell you, Mr – er – Dan, even though Connie told me you were friends, I was concerned about what I saw.”She looked away, and Dan asked her, “What did you see, Vera?””You seem much closer than just friends. Without physical contact for so long. I find it difficult to believe – “Dan could scarcely conceal his annoyance at her assumptions, “Believe what, Vera? That the last man Connie was intimate with was your son? Is that so hard to believe?””I’d hoped to have an honest conversation.””Honest? Right. And yes, we meet, we have even shared a kiss or two.” Dan was struggling to keep some control, “You say you respect Connie yet cannot accept that she has remained the most loyal, most faithful of wives. I love her dearly for that very quality and hope she might feel the same for me.”Dan enjoyed seeing doubt and discomfort cross her narrow face, as he went on. “But if you cannot detect the good, the honesty that she exudes from her, then you cannot be her friend.”Dan was a little stunned by his own vehemence, and Vera’s surprised, open-mouthed look, showed that she hadn’t expected it either. “Dan, I didn’t think that – “Dan knew he was releasing much of the frustration of recent weeks, as he told her, “Vera, I appreciate your distress, given your son’s cruel situation. But, when you can’t accept the surgeons’ advice, you place Connie’s life in limbo, arguably worse than your son’s.”