Harem of Vanity

Big Dicks

Hey all! I’m sorry to interrupt the other series I’ve been working on, but this is a project I’m pretty excited about. I’d love to hear your feedback and field your questions, just use the contact page here to get at me.


There were three things of which I could be absolutely certain.

1. If I didn’t escape soon, I was going to brutally executed.

2. I could escape whenever I wanted.

3. One of my captors was packing a huge cock, so I was really on the fence about things one and two.

“Stand up, bitch! It’s time for your trial!” one of the brutes shouted at me as he knocked his fist against the metal wall that emitted the containment field.

“Aw, couldn’t you have sent me the black-haired one with the broad shoulders?” I pouted.

“Why would I do that?”

“A prisoner is entitled to her last meal.” I beamed.

“just stand the fuck up and get over here, cunt.”

“His loss.” I stood and complied. He tapped a few buttons on the console I knew to be on the other side of my cell and the force field dropped with a dying hum.

His partner—also not the hung hot guard I wanted— pointed his concussion rifle at me as I freely offered my hands to the brute.

“Try not to pinch my tits this time.” I smiled with the request. He slapped the grav-cuffs onto my wrists and they whipped together, pinching my breasts in exactly the way I’d asked him not to. If there was one thing I hated about being imprisoned above the low-quality food, the beatings, the casual abuse, and of course, the smell, it was almost never being allowed to have even a bra.

I’m sure for the usual criminals, even the female ones, that sort of ammenity was understandaby absent, underwire could be used as a weapon and it’s not like it mattered if their tits bounced a little more while they were walked to the decorporializer. But when you’re saddled with a pair of MMM-cup shirt-rippers like mine, bralessness is a downright cruel and unusual punishment. My girls ached for relief from their own weight as much as they longed for some affectionate handling.

I trudged between them, the blue-and-grey jumpsuit straining to hold together around my curves. If there was any real victim here, it was the clothing. At least they allowed me a hair tie, my platinum blonde pony-tail was high and tight, except for a single errant strand that fell between my pale purple eyes.

The march led us into a crowded court-room; perhaps a hundred people had crowded into the public bench areas to finally see me get mine, different aliens and androids and humans like me all champing at the bit. They were a picnic compared to the judge, the old bastard had a scowl that could have melted Nusteel and I didn’t think he was going to be feeling particularly merciful.

I kissed the air, then blew, not being able to use my hands made the gesture somewhat less clear, but I think my adoration for my public was obvious. The lawyer who would be speaking against me was actually kind of cute. I lamented not having time to get him naked and seeing if he was worth my time, but those pretty black curls would have to get sweaty over some other space-slag for the forseeable future.

My lawyer, a public defender, was by contrast, the least sexy thing I had ever seen. He was of an alien species I had yet to encounter, but it was as though he were fashioned of the imperfections of humans all wadded up into a big bunch. His suit was actually a thick coat of fur that grew from his back, his head was bald save for a single curly patch in the center. His chest was concave and his gut an outward jutting oval that jiggled when he moved. That made sense, they would have picked him for maximum failure and looking like this, any argument he put forth (in what I assumed would be a wimpy, nasal voice, just to complete the picture) would be ignored by the jury.

To be fair, I was guilty as sin and twice as attractive.


“Vanity Nova, for thirteen years your reign of terror throughout the seven solar-systems has been the stuff of true infamy. In the wake of your passage, there have been fortunes worth of robbery and looting, untold expenses in property damage, scores of kidnapped women and men an-”

I interrupted him, “Correction Your Honor. Kidnapped men. The women all came willingly. They wanted their own lives and power in the world and I gave it to them.”

The Judge scowl-smirked at my outburst. “You know, Miss Nova, you might want to consider disputing claims the prosecution makes in their entirety next time. When you jump in to correct one point like that it almost makes it seem like everything else you didn’t correct is true in your opinion as well.”

“It is.” I said, beaming, and the judge went back to scowl-scowling.

“Then I see no reason to go on. Ladies, gentleman, nueterkin, hyperdimensional, bacterial and all varying identifiers therrein, before you sits a woman who admits to her crimes and is unrepentant for them. Keep that in mind as she speaks in her defense and know in your hearts and various other organs and metaphorical Gaziantep Grup Escort constructs that you have no choice but to vote guilty in your deliberations.”

“Would you like to take the stand, Miss Nova?” The judge asked.

“I would, Your Honor.” I said.

“Bailif, escort Miss Nova to the bar.” The judge instructed. My heart leapt as he came from the back, it was the hung stud! So that was why he wasn’t with the other guards, he’d been picked for court duty today. Now that I had my prize I could escape!

I let him lead me to the stand, grinning as he stood to the side and clasped his hands in front of my prize’s prize, the one that dangled between his legs.

“What do you have to say in your defense, Miss Nova?” the judge asked.

“Well your honor, and all you fucks in the jury box, I’m gonna keep this short and to the point. Today is about truth, is it not? Let’s have some. I comitted all the crimes of which I stand accused, and a number that haven’t even been brought up. I’m also guilty of being a cheat at cards, a lush, and certainly a bit of a slut. Now that that’s all clear, let’s have more honesty, shall we? This is a kangaroo court that will not allow you to think for yourselves because it isn’t what society wants you to do. My crimes have largely been victimless, and where there were victims, trust me that they fucking deserved it. In addition, all the guards but the one to my left have teeny tiny penises and I suspect their life of protective service is to cover for the insecurity they all feel because of this. And lastly, since we are speaking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I’m fucking out of here!”

With those words I abruptly dived left, my tongue peeling the adhesive strip from the roof of my hard palette to allow the Pill containing Hrunja extract to disolve in my mouth. At the same time I wrapped my leg’s around stud-boy’s torso and used my cuffed hands as a sort of loop to shove his face between my massive breasts. Guards aimed weapons and people hollared, but all that was just a glimpse before the extract kicked in and the pair of us faded from sight.


I had trained to withstand the disorienting effects of Hrunja, which was what gave me advantage over the poor bailif. By the time he was done gasping for breath, and, I suspected, his vision was be clearing I already had my knees trapping his arms to the ground and was letting my tits do what they did best: rest heavily. I could feel his feeble attempts to breath as I ground the big mounds into the ground around his face. I spoke directly into his ear.

“I want you to listen to me very carefully. With my boobs on you like this you have maybe two minutes, possibly three if you can really hold your breath before you go unconcious from oxygen loss. If you’re smart, you’ll reach back, as painful a position as it may be, and use your fingerprint to deactivate the cuffs that I’m using to hold you in this near-fatal position. If you’re not, you’ll die, and I’ll just have to find another way to dump the cuffs later, but I’m not keeping you alive if you don’t prove cooperative. Clear?”

He paused a moment. The hot ones were almost never smart, but finally he did as I had instructed. The second the cuffs deactivated I snatched his weapon from the strap around his shoulder and pointed it so that it was the first thing he saw when he finally rescued his face from my vast expanse of titflesh.

“I am so fired,” he groaned.

“Aw, don’t fret dearie, you’re going to have a job with me from now on.”


“You heard the trial. I kidnap men. Well, it starts out as kidnapping, but eventually they almost always end up liking it. I think you will too.”

“You’re free, what good am I to you as a hostage?”

“Oh no, not a hostage, hon. You’re gonna be in my harem.”

“You’re what?”

“You’re the whole reason I’m here.”


“Think back to the night your band managed to capture me. Do you remember what you were doing before you stumbled on my crashed ship?”

“Uh, we patroled awhile, we landed on the planet, that stuff?”

“No. You took a piss.”


“You and one of the other guards put down your guns, went over to the bush, you hauled out your big fat limp swinging dick and took a piss. I was watching from my hiding spot. That’s why I didn’t run when the rest of your boys came from the other way; I was mesmerized.”

“You’re kidding.”


“You’re the most dangerous criminal in the entire galaxy and we brought you in because you saw my COCK!?”

“You got it.”

An odd little smirk crept over his face and he blushed a little. “You know, that’s actually quite flattering.”

“Well in my defense, it’s a VERY big dick.”

“That’s what the other guys always say, but-“

“Shhhh!” I raised a clench fist as I shushed him, “your nano-cocked coworkers are gonna be looking for us, we’ve got to find somewhere to lay low for the night, then we’ll be hooking up with The Audacity in the morning.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why do you think I’ll implicate myself?”

“I’m the one with the gun,” I explained. “Now move those three legs and MARCH.”

“I’m not a Sirius Sigma 9 Alien, I don’t have three legs,” he protested as he began to walk.

“Yeah,” I said, gently patting the bulge of his penis with the rifle-stalk, “you keep telling yourself that.”


We found a decent clearing. It would suit my purposes nicely, from the soft moss to the obscuring trees that would keep us from view.

“Now we’re going to sleep,” I said, gesturing for a particularly dense patch of arboreal softness with the gun.

“I’m going to stay awake. Then, when you go to sleep, I’m going to get away or get my gun back. You might as well just surrender now.”

I laughed, “That’s exactly where you’re wrong, tripod, you’re about to be very sleepy.”

“What?” He didn’t have time to think as I pulled the trigger, bursts of field-contained magma burst out in red-hot lines, he screamed in panic as I fired again and again, then blew the smoke coming from the barrel as I admired my handiwork.

His pants were melted slag, his perfect cock hanging free and limp, drooping admirably over a pair of balls the size of valencia oranges. I pointed the gun back at him.

“Hands behind your head and close your eyes,” I commanded as I closed the distance between us.

Blind, terrified and possibly hungry, he would was probably shocked when he felt the heat of my saliva licking and lapping across the surface of his massive testicles. I worked hard, letting the tip of my tongue slip into his scrotums many wrinkles and creases, slavishly polishing the fear-sweat from them, warming them, loving how they descended in lusty fullness as he relaxed.

I’d come back to them later, but I had to pay respect to the massive appendage that had so caught my attention. I seized the middle of it, loving how heavilly it drooped in limpness as I pursed my lips and kissed the head, tonguing deep beneath his foreskin, swirling around his extra-sensitive head with a deep lusty moan to let him know how I was enjoying the flavor of him.

He was beginning to fill out now, and I took the time to get the rest of his shaft coated in slobber, giving flat-tongued licks up and down the sides, bathing the veins that criss-crossed along the bottom of his cock, nibbling and slurping my way up the tip with sloppy mouth-motions, letting drool spill from my lips, running in rivulets up and down his lengthening shaft, slipping into that foreskin, dripping from those nuts.

I pulled back to admire the effect I was having. His cock was starting to resemble the rifle-barrel for all its length, I pressed the two together a moment just to appreciate it.

“Please don’t shoot my balls off!” He begged, voice husky with lust despite the pleading tone.

“Never in a million years, dummy. I have plans for those.” I moved the gun aside, hand still on it just in case and proceeded to angle my neck, attacking his balls from the bottoms this time, kissing and sucking at one, then the other, bobbling them like toys on my face, moving and swaying so that they’d drag ruggedly over the whole of my countenance, my features nothing more than a platter to cradle their weight.

“Come on stud… you’re teabagging the most feared Piratess in the known universe. Don’t tell me that isn’t making your little head just about burst with ego overflow,” I purred the words into his nutsack, knowing full-well that if he did open his eyes and look all he’d see was my chin beneath his titanic equipment.

He didn’t have to answer with words, his prick was finally at full-stand, jutting up powerfully from his crotch like a rocket prepared for launch, and launch is exactly what I planned to make it do.

But first things first; I opened my mouth as wide as it would possibly go, lifting up to totally engulf one of this monster balls, letting the huge sphere of sperm syrup descend deep into my throat, gagging on it as the thing stopped my gullet completely. I teared up a little; I didn’t want to look weak just now, but I couldn’t help it, I had never gobbled so massive a ball.

Painfully I dropped, my throat making a horrific “GLURRRK” noise as the colossal cum bag broke free.

“Holy fuck,” he groaned, “can I please look at what you’re doing down there, you uh, wicked, evil pirate bitch?”

I laughed, playfully giving his hard dick a slap, “Okay, one more time, but not a third, your balls could fucking kill a girl.”

He looked down, those innocent brown eyes wide with awe as I repeated the act of deep ball suction, tugging the bag a little as I retreated off this time, loving how his face went through what seemed twenty different joyful, confused and ecstatic emotions as I did. He might have an enormous cock, but this guy would suck at poker. Well, maybe not strip poker.

But I digress.

Then it was on to the main attraction itself, I took a few deep breaths to ready myself before plunging my face onto that seeming mile of meat, taking advantage of my now free hands to peel the ugly prison jumpsuit seam open, famously massive tits bobbling into view. There are endless rumors about just how my boobs stay as firm as they are. Some think I’m cybernetic, others believe I’ve recieved some sort of alien training or technology, while others say, “holy fucking christ those are some gigantic titties!” and let the issue rest at that.

He marveled at them, eyes somehow even wider than they already had been, like if he just peeled his lids open far enough he’d somehow be able to take them all in a way that stuck. Just to be a bitch I gave the girls a healthy jiggle, watching the way his pupils jiggled right along with them. You can threaten men with violence, or try to make cogent arguments, or even attempt to bribe them, but I’ll take my pair of MMM cups in terms of converting people to my cause any day.

speaking of mmm, I went “mmm” as I opened wide for his girthy helmet. Not only was the guy hung but he had one of those dicks where the head is clearly the biggest part… he was gonna feel incredible every time he popped in or out of my pussy, but the goal tonight wasn’t to pleasure myself, I had to wear him out, so instead I popped that megalithic pricktip in and out of my fat pouty dicksucking lips over and over and over, letting myself take in a little more with each dive in, adding perhaps a centimeter or so of cock to my face at every plunge.

I had to be careful, this was exactly where I could get myself into trouble. On the one hand, I had to show this gargantuan god-rod the time of its life, pleasure him like no one ever had until he was a mewling mess of spent sperm at my feet. On the other, the best way to do that was to take this sucker DEEP, and deepthroating a dick that could probably reach my stomach was dangerous. I couldn’t assert control over him if I was puking my guts out onto his boulder-like balls.

So I worked up to it slow. I took time to stick his cockhead into my left cheek, stretching my face out for his horny pleasure, swiveling it across my tongue to the other cheek, showing him that my mouth was big enough to suck an ordinary average cock sideways. I let the girthy invador probe beneath my tongue, testing the limits of my jaw, pushing it down. It was actually a good way to warm my poor hinges up who were about to get a SERIOUS work out. I don’t know if you start your day cracking your jaw open to suck a mag-light, but I don’t, so I wasn’t used to this.

Finally I started to bob up and down on him, letting a hand help keep me from biting, or rather throating, off more than I could chew. As I worked into it more and more I couldn’t keep my horny moans of approval from rolling around his shaft and spilling from my mouth. I was truly fighting my cunt, which begged and begged that we stop all this sucking and let the beast fuck it. Sucking dick makes me horny. Huge dicks make me horny. Sucking a huge dick could put me into a frenzied overdrive that made me hard to control.

That frenzy was making other aspects of this hard to control too. That helping hand I was using had started to slip and every few bobs I’d back off with a cough or gag, the fearsomely fat fuckstick was gaping my throat into new shapes even as it stopped my air. The up-and-down motion of my body was more than just my head moving, I rocked on my knees, tits swaying and bouncing explosively. I realized I was neglecting a valuable weapon and angled back even further, my huge tits coliding with his massive dangling balls at every epic bounce.

Sometimes they would just brush the bottoms of his sack, and others slip to caress the sides front, and if I really angled my arms right I could get my undulating udders to part and then slap together around his ballsack, the wait of them tugging his nuts down as they’d descend. Humongous cock or not, this poor boy didn’t stand a chance against me.

But I had to respect his staying power. I was so caught up in the moment it was a long time before I realized it had even been a long time. Beads of sweat rolled down my forhead and shoulders and tits. Waves of thick, pearlescent slobber drooled from my lips, making a complete mess of my jaw, and dripped down with such constant excessiveness it looked like I was wearing a bib made of ball-batter draped over my tremendous tits.

I couldn’t wait to measure this monstrosity when I was back in the safety of my ship, but I was fairly certain I was hitting at least ten inches of cock at each bounce, and there was still so much cock left to go. Finally I hit him with a real show-stopper, gargling that preposterous pole of penile plowmeat (oh good lord, he’d skull-fucked the cogency right out of my terminology) as deep as I could then swallowing on it while rolling my head, letting the depths of my gullet caress his head while my esophagus rippled on his shaft.

The balls I was battering with my bouncing boobs began to bunch up, their low-hanging sack cinching up on itself as they prepared to deliver what I guessed would be one unbelievable payload. His expressive face had “Holy fuck I’m going to cum!” written all over it as I sucked and glucked and throatfucked my way to the ocean of cum being greedily hoarded by his humongous hanging nuts.