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Welcome back to Jody’s side of their story. I highly suggest you read Chapters 1-11 then come back for Chapter 00 parts 1-3. If you’ve already read the original story chapters and want a refresh, then this part starts right before Jody’s trip down south with her family, filling in some of the missing parts and goes up to Ellie’s confession. So, read up to Smoldering Fire then BOTH parts of Smoke Effects, then some of Finding Ellie ( or all of it, your choice) to get the original story first ( that’s where most of the sex is too) then come back and read this. Some of this runs parallel to Ellie, some intersects, and some is purely what was going on for Jody.
I have already started Jody’s view of their time apart and her motivations to try and heal them. That is going to be gut wrenching so it may take me a bit. I may take a break for work on other storylines.. I just don’t know.
As always please favorite, rate, comment and send feedback!
Ellie was on her way over. Kevin, she and I were going to watch a movie, and I had to remind her that I was leaving in less than a week. My heart was breaking even thinking about it. Breaking because I didn’t want to leave her. Breaking because I didn’t want to spend a week with Joe. Breaking because I was being pulled in so many directions.
We had been friends, then lovers for just about 8 months. My soul was growing weary of this hiding of ‘us’. She completed me in ways I didn’t know I needed until she was in my life. I was not whole when she wasn’t around, and a week away from her, it would not be great for either of us. We had been apart that long before but never with so many miles between us.
I was getting Kevin his meatball sub when she walked in. Instantly I felt a little better. We hadn’t seen each other in 2 days. We no longer allowed it to go any longer if it could be helped. I said hi as I walked his food to him. She went into the kitchen and waited for me. I knew she would be on the other side of the fridge, waiting for a stolen kiss. I was right. It wasn’t nearly long enough, but it was filled with everything I needed her to know.
We were both smiling as we moved into the middle of the kitchen. We each made a sub, grabbed a drink then joined Kevin on the couch. She sat into the arm of the couch and I sat just next to her, between Kevin and her. We ate as the movie started.
She finished before me, hadn’t eaten a ton. I checked on her without her noticing. Her legs were tucked up under her, so no shaking foot. She had her arms crossed and hands tight. Her lips were relaxed though. So, she wasn’t great, but she wasn’t really bad either. I finished, then took the blanket and put it over our legs, she put the recliner end up. I so wanted to snuggle in. I resented the fact I couldn’t.
Joe and Madi were in the basement on the trainer, so we weren’t even the least bit alone. I could hear the whir of the bikes from up here. I took her hand under the blanket, reminding myself to let go if that whir stopped. I sat back as close to her energy as I could risk. She squeezed my hand, I squeezed back.
Just as the movie ended, the whirring stopped. I squeezed her hand one last time and got up. We cleaned up the mess from dinner and were in the kitchen when Joe and Madi came upstairs. The talk went right to our pending trip. I watched Ellie’s hand start twitching.
She engaged both Joe and Madi in their excitement, but her hand never stopped moving. Things at home had been steadily getting worse for her. She was trying not to let on, but I could read her and knew it was getting to her.
“I better get home. Thanks for dinner and the movie.” She said goodbye to Madi, and Joe then yelled up to Kevin. I started to walk her out and she shook her head and gave me a small hug then was out the door.
I took a deep breath and turned to go back into the kitchen. Joe was still in there. He made some snide comment about how much I was going to miss my bestie while we were gone. I wanted to punch him, instead I just ignored him. I was going to miss her more than he knew.
I did everything needed for the kids and myself before I headed to bed. Joe hadn’t showered yet, so there was a chance I could be asleep before he crawled in next to me. I envied Ellie and how she didn’t have to share a bed with Evan.
Before I shut my light off I texted her. I knew she probably wouldn’t text me back, she had been going through these quiet phases for weeks. I was hoping it was from the winter getting to her.
Me- thank you for coming over. I love you. ?? sleep well
I put my phone on silent and slipped it between my pillow and the mattress. I didn’t fully trust Joe to not snoop. I had changed my passcode long ago, and changed it regularly so he didn’t have access, but I still worried. I closed my eyes and thought about the day when we wouldn’t have to hide anymore. I wondered if it would ever be that way for us.
I woke up the next day and she hadn’t responded. I sighed and texted her anyways.
Me- good morning. I love you.
I was at work before she texted me back. maslak escort
Ellie- I love you too.
That was how the next few days went. I got her to agree to come meet me for lunch. We would get food from the cafeteria and eat in my office. It wasn’t much, but it was something. We had done this before. Sometimes just reconnecting even for an hour helped pull her out of her quiet.
I heard her say hi to Amy and then she was in my office. I never got used to seeing her dressed up. She didn’t do it often, usually only if she has meetings with facility or parents. Today she had on heels and a skirt with a gorgeous top that brought out her blue eyes. Her curls were pulled up on the sides but ran wild everywhere else. She had cut off some of the length last week and I was still getting used to it shorter. She looked… perfect.
I had already closed the blinds in my office, but Amy was right there and wanted to walk to get food with us. The three of us walked, I listened to El and Amy talk. I had a slight pull of jealousy at their reminiscing together. So much of me wished I had known younger Ellie. Wondered if we would have been friends. She tells me we wouldn’t have been. I liked to think maybe we would have made a difference in each other’s lives. She half chuckled when I said that to her. “Jody, no part of who I was then would have been good for you. We didn’t know each other then so we could love each other now.” She had such a negative view of her past, it always made me hurt for her.
We got food and made our way back to our offices. I worried Amy would want to eat with us. I couldn’t exactly tell her no without raising unwanted scrutiny. I walked in my office, Ellie followed, Amy said goodbye, and ‘nice to see you Ellie’ and went into her own. She shut her door and I did the same. I didn’t have the lock totally turned when Ellie had her lips on mine.
We spent a few minutes just kissing. I would never get enough of the way she made me feel when her mouth was on mine. She tugged on my bottom lip before releasing it and the kiss. I knew I had a stupid look on my face, but I couldn’t help it. She just made me… happy.
We sat and ate and talked. She avoided anything that reminded her I was leaving. I indulged that. She had to leave and get back to work way too soon. I walked her out to the parking lot. I gave her a small hug, whispered “I love you” In her ear. Then watched her drive away.
It had been 2 days since Ellie, and I had lunch. I was supposed to leave in 2 more. My heart was conflicted. I wanted the time with my kids but did not want the time with Joe or his parents. We had been doing this trip every year since the kids were little. Every year it got harder to pretend I wanted to be there. A week was just too long.
I spent that night and the next day locked in an internal battle. I left work early to finish packing and I just couldn’t force myself to do it. I sat down on the edge of my bed, phone in hand.
Me- Hey babe..I miss you! ??
Ellie- I miss you too…
Me- Are you home from work?
Ellie- Just got home, changing my clothes.
Images of her without anything on flooded my brain.
Me- ohhhh…I wish I was there to help…
Ellie- Me too
Just then Joe came in. He started in on me right away. I wasn’t packing fast enough. Apparently he had missed the fact I had already packed the kids fully. I had nothing in me to fight with him. I just let him storm around the house as I calmly placed everything both kids needed by the door.
I went back to my phone.
Me-Sorry. Joe is being an ass. I really wish I had just told him I would fly down on my own in a few days. I do not want to deal with him in the car and then him and his parents for a week!
Me- I really don’t want to go on this trip.
Why was I? Obligation…
Me- Maybe I won’t go
Joe would have a cow if I didn’t go. But then I’d have a week of peace.
Me- Yeah I think I’m going to tell him I’m not coming.
Me- Ugh but the kids will be mad. What do you think?
Would they actually care if I wasn’t there? I searched through my memories of the last few years and except for playing games together, we didn’t do much together while down there. The kids got spoiled by Joe’s parents, we did things, but nothing that stuck out as monumental.
Me-Maybe I will fly down in a few days… the ticket will be costly but worth my mental health!
I was liking this idea. Let Joe drive down with the kids and join them mid-week. I would get a few days break but still also have the time with the kids.
Me- Ellie??? What should I do?
It was totally unfair of me to ask her what to do. I knew it. Yet I still did. I needed to know if she even wanted me to adjust my plans. I waited for her to read them. She didn’t. I paced around my room. Willed her to open the messages and help me decide what to do.
“Mom, did you pack my blue swimsuit?” Madi had poked her head in our room.
“I did.” And just as quick as she istanbul escort had popped in, she popped out. Kevin came in a moment later with questions of his own.
I answered them, then sat down. I had to think. No, I didn’t. I knew what I wanted. I knew where I wanted to be. I got online and bought myself a one-way ticket for Wednesday. Told Joe I had decided to fly down in a few days. He was less than pleased, but I had found my voice over the last few months and wasn’t asking his permission. I was telling him what I was doing.
I told the kids, neither seemed phased. Even Kevin, who didn’t do well with change. He was just excited to go on the trip. I went upstairs and checked to see if Ellie had messaged me back yet.
Ellie- You should go and spend the time with the kids, while they will still go on family vacations. It will be sunny and warm. The vitamin D will be so good for you. And you love the beach!
I could feel her forced positivity in every word I read. I loved her for that. I wondered how she was going to react when I told her I decided already. I hoped she would want to spend the time with me.
Me-Too late, I already bought the plane ticket
Ellie- You bought the what???
Me- I told Joe that I’m staying here and flying down Wednesday. I’ll drive back with them on Sunday. He wasn’t thrilled but I didn’t give him any choice in the matter. The kids seem fine with it
She read it but didn’t respond. Crap. I knew she was overthinking already.
Me- This means I can see you, a lot… If you want.
Ellie- Of course I want… But I don’t want you to give up time with the kids for me…
Oh, sweet Ellie. She was so selfless sometimes.
Me- I’m still spending time with them El. I think it will be better time. I won’t be stressed from Joe and his parents as much. It will be better time… I promise
Nothing back. I could picture her, wherever she was at the moment, sitting there, her anxiety in control. I wanted to hug her. I knew she never felt like she should be picked first. I was picking her, picking us and she was going to struggle with that. I again ached for the fact she had never known this kind of love before.
Me- Stop overthinking this..
Ellie- Do you even know me?
Me- I do, and I love you. .
Ellie- I love you too
I got up, knowing it was likely she wasn’t going to say more for a while. I spent the next few hours getting them packed in Joe’s truck and ready to go. I hugged each of my kids goodbye and cringed through a hug and kiss from Joe. I just wanted them to drive safe and I would see them soon. I told Madi to keep me updated on where they were and how the drive was going.
I went upstairs and got ready to enjoy having the bed to myself. The only thing that would make it better was if Ellie was in it with me. Not just for the physical pleasure of having her near me. I wished for this for the way she completed me. I was ready for us to have that. We were reaching a point where hiding and stealing moments wasn’t enough anymore.
Me- Joe and the kids just left. I know you’re processing. I love you. I will talk to you in the morning. ????
We spent the next day together, making up for lost time. I cried after she left to go home. I hated that she had to go home. Every time she left me, was harder than the time before. I woke the next day and texted her. I wanted to spend another wonderful day just us.
Me- am I going to get to see you today?
Ellie- Jessie wants to spend the day shopping. With me. She never wants to spend time with just me anymore.
I sighed. She was spending the next day with Jessie. I knew I was being selfish. I wanted these hours with her before I left. I tried not to come across as disappointed when I messaged her back. I texted my mom quick to see if she wanted to hang for a bit. She did.
Me- okay.. good I’m glad she wants to hang with you! I’m gonna go see my mom for a few hours. Text me when you and Jessie are done, and we can see.
Ellie- okay ????
I put my phone down, went and showered. I drove to my parent’s house, my dad wasn’t home, but mom was. I could smell the coffee when I walked in. “Hey mom!”
“In here dear.” Her voice was coming from the kitchen. I made my way there. This wasn’t the house I had grown up in, I had actually never lived here. The living-room was filled with pictures of me, my brother Marc and our families. I paused for a minute of one when Madi was a new baby. Kevin had the pudgiest cheeks. I looked different. Younger, but it was more than that. I tried to remember those days; they were a blur.
“Jody?” Moms voice called out to me.
“On my way, was just looking at the old pictures.” I glanced over a few more of them as I made my way out of the living-room.
I got to the kitchen and mom was pulling cookies out of the oven. She never changed. “Mom, its 11am.” I loved her cookies, but it was a bit early in the day.
She just shrugged. I had gotten my love of baking from her. I don’t think a day passed when I was in school that sarıyer escort I didn’t come home to something fresh from the oven. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and we started talking. My mom knew almost everything about me. She knew about my marriage and how close to the end of it I was. She didn’t know about Ellie though. Well, she knew we were friends, but no more. They had met a couple times but only for short spurts.
“At Marc’s. They are fixing some electrical stuff before Beth loses it.”
We both laughed. Beth lost it often. I liked my sister in law, but she was tightly wound. Their two boys were more regimented than Kevin was, but that was her doing. We talked for a while, dad called and said he was on his way home. We started making lunch. My phone went off. I went to the sink to wash my hands and then checked it.
Ellie– shopping is going great. Just stopped for lunch. We are about half way through her list.. and my bank account ??. I’ll text you when we are done.
I laughed. I realized my mother was watching me. “The kids?”
“No, Ellie. She’s shopping with her daughter.”
“Ah.” There was something in the tone of her voice that told me she had more to say but wasn’t saying it. I didn’t press her. I went back to helping with lunch. My father walked in a few minutes later and we had a nice lunch. I was glad I had come over. I didn’t see them nearly as much as I should.
It was a nice day out, so I asked the both if they wanted to go for a walk. Dad said no thanks, there was a game on he wanted to watch. Mom said yes. I was glad I had worn sneakers. I loved the little neighborhood they lived in; it wasn’t far from one of the elementary schools in town. We walked for about 15 minutes before either of us said anything. She brought up Ellie. Told me she was glad I had found such a great friend. Talked about how hard it was to make new friends once you were my age. I was chuckling inside.
Then she said something I wasn’t prepared for at all. Told me she knew I loved Ellie. Knew it from the first time she had met her months ago. Could see in both our eyes, it was more than friendship. That they were happy for me. ‘They’. My father too. I had no reply for her. We walked in silence. I wasn’t sure what to say, if I should say anything.
We were back at their house and I still hadn’t said anything to her. We went inside and my father was sitting in the living-room, mom sat with him. I got my phone from the kitchen to see if Ellie had texted. She hadn’t. I shot one off to her.
Me- don’t eat dinner if you plan to come over. And NO I’m not cooking.. I’m grabbing us take out.
I was planning on getting her the Latin food she loves. I clicked send then joined my parents in the living-room. A moment later my phone went off.
Ellie- just got home. Dealing with some stuff. I’ll get back to ya soon
Dealing with some stuff? What stuff? Now I was worried. She didn’t say anything else. I waited, phone in hand, half paying attention to my parents and the game on the screen.
A little while later my phone went off again.
Ellie- Evan was just the biggest ass he’s ever been. He stormed off though. No idea where he went.
Shit. Evan had been being an ass since the day I met Ellie, long before then even. She always brushed it off. Usually told me to let it be when it bothered me. I wanted to know what happened and if she was okay.
Me- oh damn I’m sorry. Wanna talk about it?
She didn’t reply. I was starting to worry. I texted her again.
Me- Ellie are you okay??
I stared at my phone waiting for her to reply. It was a few more minutes before she responded.
Ellie- not really. Still okay if I come over?
Me- of course. Actually let me pick you up? You’re on the way back from the food I’m gonna order
She wasn’t. She wasn’t near anything, but I didn’t care. I needed to get to her. I quickly made a call for food. My mind was racing.
Me- I’ll be there in 20/30 minutes okay?
The food better be ready when I got there. I needed to get to her. She hardly ever told me when she wasn’t okay. She rarely reached out for help. A million scenarios played out in my head.
Ellie- okay. I’m gonna change. Come in if I’m not ready when you get here.
At least she was still messaging me. I needed to lighten the mood just a little or at least try to.
Me- never change Ellie ??
Ellie- just my clothes love. Just my clothes.
I got up and said I had to go. Mom walked me outside.
“Everything okay Jody?” I could hear the worry in her voice.
“I don’t know, hopefully. Thanks Mom, for today, for everything.” Ellie had told me more than once how lucky I was to have the parents I had. I knew she was right.
“We love you Jody.” She gave me a hug and I told her I loved them too and got in my Jeep. The food was ready when I got to the restaurant. I drove entirely too fast across town to get Ellie.
I pulled into her driveway and didn’t even have time to put the Jeep in park and she was coming out and climbing in the seat. I looked at her and knew things were bad. Her lips were almost white they were so tight. Both of her hands were twitching. Fuck. I put the Jeep in reverse and pulled out of her driveway. Once we were out of view, I took her left hand in mine and kissed her fingers.
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