Lays of St Trinian’s Ch. 02


It was our new Teaching Assistant, the well-endowed Miss Laura, who provided the perfect solution to our impasse. She brought a lot to the discussion, including experience of negotiating with the English Collective of Prostitutes over the EU working-time directive, and back pay. Miss Susie, in her cynical way as Head, thought that it was her other assets, the 38DD ones, which swayed the School Council, but I liked to think that Rebecca was right when she said it was the power of her tongue; such a poetic way of putting it.

It was, I hate to say it, a directive of Miss Susie’s which had caused the difficulty.

‘Look Hoffy,’ she had said last Wednesday morning, when I had finished bringing her to her second orgasm, ‘we can’t have it you know.’

The idea of the Head not having what she wanted being unfamiliar to me, I enquired whereof she spoke.

‘I do love your way with linguistics, Hoffy. It’s the knickers, Hoffy, I can’t stop thinking about the knickers.’

‘Head, I don’t like to say this, but it is not news that you think about such things.’

She gave my hair a playful pull as she pulled me in to clean her thighs, which were still slick from the last orgasm.

‘No, Hoffy, it’s the girls. Last time I was monitoring the Changing Rooms on the CCTV, I saw not a single pair of regulation knickers. Even Rebecca was only wearing that white thong I bought her with that basque set, the second one, with the glass dildo thrown in. Emm had no knickers at all, while even that new Australian girl, the pretty shy one, you know, had blue ones on. I won’t have it Hoffy, it has to stop. Rules are rules. If you can obey them, so can the girls. Send out an announcement when you have cleaned me up, there’s a good Deputy Head.’

It was so nice to be appreciated that I forgot to say that I was not sure about the wisdom of the idea. Sure enough, my announcement produced an angry response from the girls on the School Council, who demanded a meeting. As Miss Susie was busy with extra orals for shy young Ann, she asked me to chair the meeting, which was such an honour.

‘You do know, Ma’am,’ ventured the exquisite Monica, ‘that she just gets you to do her dirty work?’

‘Oh Mons, I thought we agreed not to mention that again?’ I blushed.

‘Sorry Ma’am,’ she whispered, and then, looking under her eyelashes added, ‘but do remember, I am happy to do yours.’

I blushed, as she probably had not realised that her words might be misconstrued by some of the girls, who had remarkably filthy minds for 18 year olds.

‘Will you be with me at the meeting, Mons?’

‘Sorry, Miss,’ she apologised, ‘Miss Susie said she needed my unique talents for the oral with young Ann.’

That was why I had asked Laura, our new Teaching Assistant, if she would join me. I had been most impressed by her resumé, and knew by instinct she would be an asset.

‘Yes Miss Hoffmann,’ she had responded to my request, ‘my assets are at your disposal any time of the day – or even night.’

She had such a pretty smile. I was so glad that Miss Susie had let me hire her.

‘Well, Hoffy, I’m always happy to let you handle the recruitment, I’ll deal with the induction process,’ Miss Susie had said at the time. Typically thoughtful of her to take the longer and more time-consuming part of the process.

Rebecca, our glamorous model Head Girl, was also a shrewd negotiator. She had driven our bankers into offering us an excellent rate of interest, explaining to me that she was good at discussing figures with the senior partners.

‘They liked my figure, Hoffy,’ she said, in an unusually Escort grammatically incorrect way, surely she meant her ‘figures?’ ‘I do find a mind like mine works with these City types. You’d think 4 As at A level would be sufficient to get into one of the top unis. Demanding 4 at A* is bloody annoying.’ I could see from the vehemence of her language how strong she felt. It was like her advocacy of the new name for the refurbished dorm, ‘The Diana, Queen of Hearts’ building, she had strong feelings, and could get red when aroused.

She was red-faced at our meeting.

‘Yes, Hoffy, I know you are only doing what Miss Susie says.’

She paused a moment, as she seemed to need to take a breath and to wet her lips. She looked even prettier when she blushed.

‘But you know it isn’t fair. I have so many pretty panties, so do most of the other girls.’

I looked over to Emm, who was staring at her. There was a distinct noise of someone blowing a raspberry at Emm, surely not the Head Girl, it must have been Lady Cosmo. Julie or Belles.

‘I don’t need panties,’ said Emm, I have a condition which means I can’t wear them.’

‘Yes, it is called being a slut syndrome,’ said Rebecca with her usual wit.

‘Hey, that’s my wife you’re bad mouthing,’ said Belles.

‘Everyone mouths her,’ said Rebecca, narrowing her stare, ‘that’s why she does not wear panties.’

‘Girls!’ I said, bringing them to order.

Julie, who was always such a fun girl, winked at me.

I wondered if I looked prettier when I blushed?

‘Miss Hoffmann, might I make a suggestion?’ Laura intervened most helpfully.

‘Of course.’

‘What would you say, Rebecca, to one of the staff setting an example in this area?’

Rebecca looked thoughtful.

‘What had you in mind, Laura?’

‘Well I think that you girls respond best to role models, don’t you?’

‘That is true,’ said Belles and Rebecca at the same time. Julie giggled.

‘Well, I was thinking, that just as you all went for your inspections after that video of Miss Hoffmann being examined, perhaps the same effect might be had if she wore regulation school panties?’

Julie was smirking.

‘That is an interesting thought Laura, but I see a problem with it.’

Rebecca appeared somewhat mollified, but still wanted to feel her way to the right opening gambit.

‘You see, the video worked because we all saw it, how could we all see Hoffy’s panties?’

I blushed at the very idea.

‘Good point, Rebecca. Do you have a solution?’ Laura asked.

‘In sports, Laura, they have random drug tests to encourage confidence, I’d suggest a random panties test for Hoffy.’

‘Well, we can’t have everyone seeing the cute little thing’s panties,’ said Laura, with such a positive endorsement of me.

‘I’d suggest, Laura, that myself, Julie and Belles, and one other picked at random, should be empowered to spot test her.’

‘And who, Rebecca, have you picked at random?’ Laura asked, clearly knowing how Rebecca’s mind worked.

‘My room-mate, Sarah, would be a neutral witness.’

Laura and the girls looked at me.

Blushing, I attempted to sum up our conclusion, as the girls seemed disposed to accept the plan.

‘So, you are proposing that I should wear regulation school knickers, and that four girls have the right to inspect me at random?’

Julie’s smirk was now fixed. Lady Cosmo was nodding her eager consent. So kind of her to be so helpful.

‘What about me?’ Asked Emm.

‘Darling,’ said her wife Belles, ‘you don’t wear panties enough to know what to look for.’

‘I’m confused,’ said Emm, ‘I have taken enough pairs off to be qualified.’

‘But darling,’ said Belles, ‘do you even know what white cotton panties look like?’

‘They make them in cotton, and they are white, really, oh my god, who knew? Now I am confused, I see what you mean, darling Belles.’

‘ And saying that she disappeared beneath the conference table. Belles seemed rather preoccupied thereafter, and kept looking down. She was quiet, apart from the odd moan, until Emm reappeared.

Emm seemed a little flushed, probably because she was sticking up for the way she wanted to do things.

‘Laura, I am not sure we are there yet.’

Rebecca shot her a narrow-eyed glare.

‘Well those of us who don’t wear panties should be allowed, as we are not not wearing regulation panties, if you catch my drift.’

Emm seemed pleased that the double negative was causing some puzzlement.

‘You know, Laura, I think that logically and legally, Emm has a point,’ I said.


Rebecca did not look pleased with me.

‘I’ve seen Emm’s point, it is purple with a bulbous head,’ Julie joked, which made Rebecca giggle.

‘Hoffy, you really are so wet!’

I blushed.

‘Did Miss Susie tell you?’ I whispered, which caused Julie to laugh in her turn.

‘And the other thing,’ said Emm, pressing her point home, ‘it isn’t fair that just Miss Hoffmann’s side has to prove their good faith. I think Becca should take one for the team and volunteer to show her panties to Miss Susie and Miss Hoffmann.’

There it was again, that raspberry sound, what could it be?

‘That’s not fair, Hoffy, why me?’

‘Well,’ said Laura, intervening before I could let Rebecca off, ‘you are Head Girl and should set the tone.’

Rebecca was not happy, but in the end we agreed that I would be randomly inspected, as would Rebecca, and that the commando brigade would be exempt.

‘Hoffy, you are priceless,’ said Miss Susie when I told her the news.

She was always so supportive, and seemed in rather a jolly mood.

‘So, let me get this right. You have to wear white cotton knickers and submit to random inspections from some members of the School Council, Emm gets to go commando, and I get to examine Rebecca’s knickers? Priceless Hoffy, only you could have negotiated such a deal.’

I blushed with pride.

‘It wasn’t just me, Miss Susie, Laura played a big part.’

‘I bet she did Hoffy, fine pair of tits on that one.’

I blushed again.

Laura smiled when I saw her after lunch, pleased that I had praised her work to the Head.

‘Best of luck, Miss Hoffmann,’ she was kind enough to say.

As I wandered across the Quad, I bumped into our lovely American Rhodes scholar, Mellisa Dee. She was such a darling. It pleased me that Miss Susie saw us as ‘twins.’ Mel was much prettier than me, and had bosoms the same size as Miss Susie.

‘Miss Hoffmann, can I come by your study at some point to discuss things?’

She was so pretty, and so willing to learn, how could I refuse?

‘You are a pet, isn’t that what you English say?’ She smiled so sweetly, I didn’t have the heart to contradict her. We agreed to meet later.

Thinking that the agreement came into effect at noon, I popped back to my flat above the Sanatorium, or The San, and quickly changed into regulation white knickers. Probably just as well, I reflected, as the yellow ones with black polka dots I was wearing seemed a trifle sticky as I pulled them down. The new white ones were very cooling.

I took Latin prep first thing after the break, and then moved on to some of the endless paperwork Miss Susie never had time to do. Miss Cummington said she was too busy that afternoon as she had to do some inspections.

‘She is always inspecting things, such a devoted Head,’ I said to her.

As usual, Miss Cummington flashed me one of her looks.

‘You know, Miss Hoffmann, I think you genuinely think that, you are such a sweet thing, if I were into the no tits and no arse look, I’d totally do you.’

She had such an earthy turn of phrase, no doubt the product of so many years with men who had treated her as a sex object.

‘Why thank you, Miss Cummington.’

She smiled. There, I thought, politeness costs nothing.

‘Pixie,’ said Miss Sinn when she passed my office, ‘what’s all this I hear about you flashing your panties at the girls. Bet they aren’t as good as mine.’

To prove her point, she hoisted up her tight leather skirt to reveal a bright red thong and black fish-net stockings with a garter belt.

‘Get an eyeful of that, Pixie, that’ll show the little bitches what style is!’

I blushed.

There were times Miss Sinn reminded me of my dear mother, loveable, thoughtful and generous, but not chaste; often caught though.

‘Angie,’ I said, ‘put it away.’

‘It’s red thong Friday, love, I’m off to see Lady Cosmo who wants to swap sex tips, she’s a right goer that one. Had her yet, Pix?’

‘Oh Angie, you are such a tease,’ I said, ‘but those are lovely stockings.’

‘Bra’s good too, Pix, look!’

She did have the most gorgeous tits, and the balcony bra set them off nicely, but really, she was so naughty.

‘Want to have a suck Pix?’

‘Angie!’ I said, trying to capture the tone of voice Rebecca often used, and failing, as I usually did.

And with that, the gorgeous Angie took herself off.

I settled down to some paperwork before dinner.

No sooner had I finished the final batch than there was a knock on the door.

I got up and opened it, and there was Mellisa.

‘Is this a good time Miss Hoffmann?’

Well, with an hour before dinner, it was an excellent time.

She was such a cute girl. I could see why Miss Susie liked her so much.

‘Is it okay to have a relationship with a teacher, Miss Hoffmann?’

I looked at her. She seemed very anxious. Surely she had not, I thought, been propositioned?

‘It depends,’ I said, fencing a little, ‘on its nature.’

‘Well, Miss Hoffmann, it is just that the Headmistress has asked if I’d like to be her number one helper.’

She smiled so sweetly, bless her.

‘That is such a compliment, darling, and of course you must say yes.’

‘She looked relieved.

‘But I thought you were her number one helper?’

‘My darling, that is fine, Miss Susie needs more than one helper, and I am pleased she has chosen you to replace me.’

She kissed me, missing my cheek and planting one firmly on my lips by mistake. Such a sweetheart, I thought, as she pushed her tongue into my mouth. It felt rather nice, and if she was going to miss her target, I thought, that was a good way to do it. Her hand on my breast felt nice to.

At that point there was a knock on the door.

Adjusting my dress, and apologising to Mel, I answered the door.

‘Hello Hoffy, Sarah and I have come to inspect your knickers!’

Sarah was Rebecca’s room-mate. A sweet-natured, rather flirtatious Australian student with a great air of innocence.

‘Oh, hi, Mel,’ said Rebecca, seeing her at last.

‘We’re here to inspect Hoffy’s knickers, you happy to be a witness with Sarah and I?’

Mel, dumbstruck, nodded.

‘Ok Hoffy, raise it and spread ’em!’