Learning to be Straight from Sister

“You goddam fagot!” He roared. I felt like mice waiting to be stumped by an angry elephant. Dad had grabbed the collar of my shirt with his left fist, and his right fist was stopped inches from shattering my nose. I shivered, glancing at the way he appeared before me. His brows were lowered, pulled closer together, eyelids were squinted, lips tightened curl inwards, and then the look…the rage flowed through him like lava.

“DAD! NO. PLEASE STOP.” My sister Joni screamed, moving between us. “Please stop, Dad! Please! You’re hurting Nate, and he hasn’t done anything wrong. He doesn’t deserve it.”

Before letting me go, Dad shook me by the collar, gave me a scowl look, and pushed me away. Joni was right. I didn’t do anything seriously wrong to be threatened by Dad, nor did I provoke him in any way to deserve to be punished. That day, my only sin was not preparing enough food for dinner.

I rushed to my bedroom, scared to death and sobbing like a little girl. Perhaps I should have stood up to Dad, although he was a good five to six inches taller than my five-foot-seven-inch frame and outweighed me by a good fifty to sixty pounds, but I didn’t, and I couldn’t. Even though I was no longer a little boy, my twenty-year-old self couldn’t stand up to the monster. I wished Mom was here to protect me, but it was my little sister Joni who followed me to my room, lay beside me, and cuddled me to comfort me.

“Don’t listen to him, Nate. Just calm down and forget about what he said.” Joni whispered into my ear while rubbing my back.

“Is that sissy boy now crying over little sister’s shoulder? That queer cannot be a son of mine. No good bastard needs to get out of my hair and disappear.” Dad yelled again, peeking into my room.

“DAD! That’s enough. Leave him alone.” Joni yelled back, holding me tighter.

“Maybe, that’s what the sissy boy needs. A real woman to show him how to become a man.” Dad said as he went down the hallway and slammed the front door as he left the house.

“He’ll never change, Nate. But you still can….” Joni whispered to my ear as she caressed my back to console me.

How did all this come about…

Dad wasn’t the only one to call me a fagot or a queer; many have, and many perceive me as one. But in my heart and soul, I know I am not a homosexual and never was one, and most likely never will be. I have nothing against one choosing to be a homosexual, but I never chose to be one, as I am not. It all started when a girl in my tenth-grade class called me a fagot. My identity somehow stuck with me. Perhaps it was my appearance, behavior, or how I went with my daily routines. Whatever it was, I hadn’t fully understood it even after many years and consequently suffered many years of insults. Having been labeled as a homosexual or being suspected of one, it even crossed my mind to try to find a partner who was gay since I had nothing to lose. But each time the thought clouded my mind, I somehow suppressed the thought quite easily since I truly had no desire to become gay.

I was indeed shorter than many my age when I was growing up. It is also true that I had a baby face without any hint of facial hair, as my classmates had at the time. Perhaps my soft voice, which I had no control over, that others took as a clue to assume my sexuality. Or could that be my plump pink lips?

It wasn’t too long after the boys at the high school started to avoid me, thinking I was a homosexual; my parents somehow heard about it. Mom was lovely and tried to comfort me when she knew the boys were avoiding me, but Dad was furious when he heard the news. I heard Mom trying to convince Dad puberphonia may be the cause of slow growth. But Dad wasn’t persuaded at all. He kept referring to some of my behavioral concerns, like often volunteering to brush Mom’s long hair, helping her with manicures, etc.

Soon, Mom opted to cut her hair short. Soon after, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and our beloved mother succumbed to a cancerous tumor shortly afterward, leaving Joni and me under Dad’s care.

By the time I graduated from high school, it was customary for Dad to spend a night or two a week away from home, and that gradually became spending a night or two at home and out the rest of the time. We never asked where he was or what he was doing when he was away, but it wasn’t a secret for long that Dad had a lady friend at the other end of town. We knew he would be at her place when he wasn’t home.

In the beginning, he paid all the utility bills and left money for the groceries a couple of times a month that was sufficient for food for two. But as time went by, the amount of money he gave us became less and less. We knew Dad made decent money but wasn’t a wealthy man. We knew the house we lived in had no mortgage because Mom had willed her portion of the house and her other assets to me and Joni, while Dad still owned half of the house. However, there were taxes to pay and maintenance to do. With whatever money Dad gave, the annuity we inherited from Mom, and my part-time job while attending the community antalya travesti college, it was more than sufficient for Joni and me to live.

“Did you hear me, Nate? I know you are probably tired of being bullied all your life and people calling you so many names. You hear me, Nate? You need to change, brother. I am not going to stop bugging you until you do.” Joni said bring me back to the present.

“Joni! I am not gay.” I uttered.

“Right! You are not. Let’s prove to the world that you are straight and a real man. I can’t stand people teasing you and harassing you anymore, Nate. I can’t even stand people assuming I am a sister of a queer, you know? I will help as much as possible, but you must be serious about it, ok?” Joni susurrated.

“Ok.” Was all I was able to mumble? Does she really know I am not gay? Does she really know I had made love to numerous women in my vivid imagination and cum in every possible way, or does she know the fact that I was the only twenty-year-old virgin alive? I may never know, but one thing is for sure – she seemed determined to make me straight, which I already was.

Not long after Joni had sworn to help me become straight, she set me up on a date with one of her friends. For several days before the big day, she coached me on how to behave and talk, topics to bring up, and an endless list of advice. The girl I went out with was amiable, pretty, and all, but I felt as if I was out to dinner and a movie with someone who had no interest in being there.

It turned out that my sense was true when Joni politely told me that her friend thought I was a true gentleman but had no interest in going on another date. Joni wasn’t discouraged. The second girl was set up for me to go out again, but the outcome was the same. Then Joni came up with voice training.

“This is not hard, Nate. You must take this free online course several times weekly and practice your vocal cords. You don’t need to be much; you must develop a normal male tone. Is that hard?”

Considering the effort Joni was putting into making me straight, I realized dedicating some of my porn-watching time to practicing my voice would be beneficial anyway. Knowing how often people mistake me for a woman when called on the phone. So, the voice training began, and several nights a week, Joni would come to my room before bed to hear me speaking in a tone that wasn’t mine and applaud and encourage me.

Voice training was followed by appearance and attire changes. First, Joni determined that tapered shirts and T-shirts were not suited for the image I should be presenting. Those tapered clothes were retired to be worn only around the house, and my clean-shaven face changed to a scruffy beard, which I had to trim to the length she wanted me to wear.

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On Joni’s eighteenth birthday, Dad unexpectedly showed up and took Joni out for dinner but didn’t even bother to ask if I wanted to join. I was saddened and disappointed, not because Dad didn’t invite me, but because I just couldn’t be there to celebrate her big day.

“It was better that way, Nate. Knowing Dad, he would have spent the entire time offending you one way or the other to hurt your feelings. Believe me, I really didn’t want to go with him, but I had to, you know, since he took the time to come over to take me out.” Joni said to comfort me when she returned.

Then, one day, she said I had another date with a friend of an acquaintance. Joni said she would leave early with some friends and asked if I could meet the person at a restaurant at the other end of town at 6 PM that Sunday. First, I was reluctant to go on another blind date, having had very undesirable outcomes from the previous dates. Still, after Joni insisted, I agreed to meet the person for a quick bite first and then see if we both wanted to hang out for a while.

I arrived at the restaurant just before six pm and waited outside for someone to show up looking for me. At six fifteen, I was still on the lookout for a girl looking for me as I saw couples and groups arriving to dine, but not a single girl. It was a little past six-thirty when I decided to give up hope and considered if I should call Joni to let her know that the girl didn’t show up. I was ready to head home or take off without bothering her when I heard someone calling my name from a distance.

I turned and looked and was surprised to see Joni walking towards me.

“Sorry, I am late,” Joni said with a big smile.

“Joni! What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised to see her twenty miles from where she said she would be.

“It is a long story. I’ll tell you later. Let’s go inside and grab something to eat. It’s my treat, ” she said, still smiling. By the way, I am your date tonight, Nate.”

“What? “

“Yes, Nate. I am your date for tonight. Let’s act like we are on a date, ok?”

“No, Joni. We are not on a date. You are my sister, and I cannot possibly date my own sister.” I protested.

“Nate! I said your date, izmir travesti not lover.” Joni giggled and winked. “Just shut up and go inside for dinner.” We did. For the most part, Joni directed our conversation and made every effort to ensure that I was comfortable, and I felt I was with a better friend than my sister. After dinner, she asked if we could drive to the riverfront for a stroll around.

She held my hand, and we walked around chatting about various things. As we strolled along the riverfront, we were surrounded by the vibrant colors of autumn leaves. The crunching sound of leaves underfoot added to the rustic atmosphere. The cool breeze carried the earthy scent of the river and the surrounding foliage. “What a nice evening!” Joni said, lunging at my shoulder. I tried to ignore the gentle lapping of the water against the shore and the occasional chirping of birds and pay attention to what Joni hummed. We walked, observing the golden moon shine over the river, feeling the fresh air filling our lungs and the warmth of Joni against my skin. I felt fantastic and renewed. This is living, I said to myself.

We stopped for an ice cream along the way home, and it was just past ten pm when we finally arrived home.

“Nate! Can you stop the car in the driveway and walk me to the door?” she asked with a heartfelt smile. You can pull the car into the garage after that, if that is okay.”

“Sure, Joni,” I said, stopping the car and walking around it to open the door for her. Opening the door for my sister wasn’t something I usually do, but I grasped that the night out with my little sister was the only date I thoroughly enjoyed with a girl and perhaps my first proper date.

We walked side by side, bumping into each other along the narrow walkway to the front door, where she stood and smiled, a radiant and captivating smile, before she said, “I really enjoyed getting to know you tonight. Thanks for such a fun evening.” Even though I didn’t quite get the part, “enjoyed getting to know you,” I ignored what she said and thanked her for the lovely evening by saying, “It was even more fun than I imagined. Thanks for spending your Sunday night with me.”

Joni went straight to her room. The only notable exception was a text from her, which read, “If you enjoyed the date, you should ask her out again.”

I pondered if I should ask her out, but I couldn’t decide whether going out with Joni was the right thing to do. Sure, I was relaxed, and she was fun to be with. She ultimately made me forget she was my sister and paved the way for me to enjoy our time together. Sure, we spent a lot of time together at home, but the time I spent with her on Sunday was completely different, and I felt like a different person. I was undecided, yet subconsciously, I looked for another date with her.

When I finally decided to ask my sister, it was already Thursday. Since I had to work Friday evening until very late, I thought of asking her to go out with me on Saturday.

“Joni, I’ve been thinking about last Sunday a lot lately, and I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me Saturday night. I know this might be short notice, but I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think we could plan something fun!”

After a disappointed look and a vacant stare, Joni smiled. “Oh…Nate!” she paused and placed her hand on my shoulder, giving me a little peck on my cheek. “I am sorry, Nate. I have a date this Saturday. I wish you had asked me a day or two earlier. The answer is Yes, I will go with you, but not on Saturday. ” she was apologetic.

“It’s okay, Joni. Really … You should go out and meet people and have fun. I’ll figure out something to do while you are away,” I said, attempting to hide my gloominess. “Who is the boy you are going with? Your boyfriend?” I asked since I was curious.

“I don’t have a boyfriend yet,” Joni chuckled. It’s just a guy I met at a friend’s place who asked me out.” Then, after a short pause, she added, “Now, Nate, you are not going to mess around with guys while I am out, you hear? You promised me to give up all that and go straight, right?”

Her comments annoyed me, but I said, “No, I am not going out.” Hiding my emotions.

“I’ll tell you what… If you are up by the time I get back, I’ll tell you about my date, and you can tell me what you did and with whom when I return. How’s that?” I agreed.

The Saturday night after Joni left, I felt uneasy and somewhat envious for reasons I couldn’t comprehend. She looked great in the knee-length, dark, tight dress that hung just above her knees with a light pair of ankle-high boots, and I complimented her when she said goodbye. It wasn’t surprising that a girl as pretty as Joni got asked out by a boy, but my mind wondered where she was and what she might be doing with the boy she was out with. I channel suffered but couldn’t decide what to watch to ease my unsettling thoughts. Then, I resolved to spend my time visiting my favorite porn site.

Then unexpectedly, when I heard the front door being opened, I swiftly closed the porn tab of my browser and checked the time on my laptop. It was only nine, and I didn’t expect Joni to return just so quickly from her date.

“You are home…” I happily asked, “You are back?” simultaneously.

“So, did you go anywhere?” she asked curiously.

“No, I stayed home. How was your date?”

“Oh…god. What a waste of my time.” She sighed. “That dude was something…”

“What happened, Joni?”

“Well, he took me to a cheap burger joint. Then, he wanted to take me for a joy ride, and I agreed since I still had hopes for him and thought he could be a nice guy. While driving, he took a bottle of tequila from under the seat, and he wanted me to take shots with him out of the bottle, but I refused. That made him upset; I think he planned on getting me drunk or something.” She giggled and asked, “Do you want to hear the rest?”

“Of course, tell me the rest.”

“Ok, later, he took me to a park, parked at a dark spot, and tried to kiss me. I let him first, and then when he started getting aggressive, I asked him to stop, but he kept putting his hands and mouth all over me. Anyway, long story short, I asked him to take me home, and he said he would only take me home if I sucked his nuts. Do you know what I said? I said I was a good nutcracker, and I could bite or squeeze his stinky nuts until they cracked, but I wouldn’t suck them even if he had the only pair that God created.” I was stunned hearing what Joni said, but Joni laughed as if what happened was funny.

“Joni! That’s not funny. Who was this guy? Do you think we should report this to the police? How did you get home.”

“No, Nate. He is just a wimp and a crazy guy. I thought that by his good looks, he was a nicer person. Forget about him. And he dropped me off and left, calling me a bitch for not sucking his nuts. Looser…” I was concerned, but we had a good chuckle about the incident.

“So, have you been good?” Joni questioned, and I nodded.

“By the way, Now I have to shower and wash my hair after this fucker putting his hands all over me. Would you be a good sport and help me blow-dry my hair? I am tired…” she asked as she walked to the bathroom.

“Sure, Joni.” I gladly volunteered.

I rushed to the bathroom when she finished her shower and hollered down the hallway. Calling for me. Joni waited for me at the vanity, only a towel wrapped around her torso, barely covering the round bottom of her rear. Somehow, I felt somewhat Strange, yet delighted seeing my sister the way she stayed. I couldn’t evade the eyes traveling through the uncovered parts of her milky skin that shimmered in the light. Joni stood facing the vanity mirror, and I stood behind her with the blow dryer and started to separate her fair with my fingers on my left while holding the dryer with my right. As I kept moving my left, separating her hair and drying, she slightly tilted her head backward while squinting her eyes.

“This feels good, Nate,” Joni said, tilting her head even further back. When I began to dry her sides and the front, Joni lurched her entire body back, putting some weight on me. My fingers touched her ear, separating hair around the area to dry. Joni giggled. “It is ticklish there,” she said when her bottom came in contact with my groin, which she didn’t bother to pull back. I wondered if Joni pressed her partly covered bottom on me purposely or if it was a natural reaction when her ear was tickled. I promptly pulled back my hip as she staggered, keeping contact intact.

“Don’t worry, my butt is clean and I am just off the shower.” She cackled as I finished drying.

“No worries.”

Turning around, she gave me an enquiring eye and asked, “Did I offend you, Nate? I am sorry if I did. It is not like I was planning to rub my ass all over you.”

“No, Joni, I am not offended, but I know I should fear a nutcracker.” I joked.

“So, you got nuts, and they are for boys, girls, or both? Tell me honestly, which do you prefer?” I was stunned and couldn’t think of a way to answer her. She won’t believe me if I tell her the truth, which I have repeatedly.

“Never mind. Did you sort of like it when I pushed onto you?”

“Yes, Joni, but you are my sister. You shouldn’t.”

“Yes, but we are a team. We are working together to get you to be straight, right. Please try, ok? If you decide later that you are gay or Bi, I won’t have any regrets, but if I don’t try to change you now, I know I am going to regret it.” Her face became gloomy, and her eyes teared up and glistened as she rushed out of the bathroom.

As planned, we went out late on Sunday, since we both had school the next day, spending a few hours at the mall first since Joni wanted to do some shopping and then stopped for pizza. Joni again made every attempt to make me feel like I was on a date, not running around with my sister. She walked shoulder to shoulder every step of the way and held my hand at times. After the pizza, Joni suggested we go to the under twenty-one dance club a few miles from where we were. Even though I was never into dancing, I agreed to go along since I knew she liked to dance and have a good time. Or perhaps, secretly, I wanted to prolong the evening with her by dancing, even though dancing was never on my list of fun things to do.