Two Agendas, One Desire
(This story was written with/influenced by, a good friend of mine who got me started writing on the net. It gives you, the reader the rarely afforded opportunity to ‘see’ what both sides are thinking. I hope you enjoy it)
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Bad day. Rough shift, and to top it off, the stop at the mailbox had a letter from the ex-wife’s lawyer. Likely trying to squeeze him for more money. He was in no mood.
Throwing his keys and wallet on the table, He found his answering machine light blinking fast and furious. “Likely more ‘good’ news. It’ll wait,” he grumbled, ignoring it for the time Being, and hitting the shower. He left a trail en route to the bathroom: Scuffed shoes, likely odiferous socks, his underwear, wrinkled pants, heavy gun belt, rumpled shirt, despised clip-on tie, hot Kevlar vest, and soaked T-shirt.
He chuckled to himself as he grabbed a towel, a thought of an old fairy tale coming to mind as he looked at his mess. A modern-day adult Hansel leaving his trail of breadcrumbs. The moment of musing now over, he got on with his shower with a smirk firmly plastered on his lips.
As if he could scrub off the garbage he came in contact with in his daily life as a cop–although he knew he had it easier than his counterparts in rougher areas, he had his fair share of bullshit to handle. The water beat down on him, the steam filling the bathroom and his pores, the soap’s strong scent opening his sinuses and clearing out the nonsense. Even after he was well clean, he stayed there, enjoying the sound of the steady pounding of the water hitting the tile.
The never-ending saga of bullshit at work. Coupling that with the stresses of his personal life, he found his temper shorter and thoughts jumbling more often. Which made -her- all the more special.
Coming home a few hours early from what seems a thankless job, she locks the door and tossed her purse upon the couch, headed for the kitchen. She was a bit on the depressed side, and it was beginning to affect her physically. Her personal life was a shambles; her car was acting up again, and she had what had to be one of the most emotionally draining jobs this side of the world. Being responsible for other human lives defiantly took a toll on one after a while. She was tired of the paperwork, and tired of the responsibility.
Waiting for her slow coffee pot to finish brewing what would only amount to 2 cups of coffee, she plunked herself down in front of her computer to check her email.
“Damn spam” she muttered as she deleted the one message promising her a larger penis in one week. The coffee pot finally making its gurgling noise that alerted her it was done, she poured herself a cup, and headed off to the bathroom, where she lit her scented candles, tossed some oils into the tub and sunk down into the luxury of soft, caressing, bubbles.
As he washed, he found himself thinking of her. her gentle ways, her playfulness, the way she could make him feel as if he were the only one in the world during the time they spent together. They’d talked of meeting in real life–after all, they only lived an hour’s drive from each other, so it wasn’t as if it was impossible for them to meet–and if the day ever came that he’d lower his defenses, he would meet her. And with luck, he would make her his.
Leaning her head back against the soft inflatable bath pillow, she reaches the hot mug of coffee to her lips and closes her eyes as the warmth begins to run through her.
Her mind begins to wander, images passing behind closed eyelids. What was he doing right now? Probably at work. Wearing that sexy cop uniform that would cling to his well-muscled body every move he made. Especially those shoulders, ahh, those shoulders, if they were anything like the pictures she saw, what she wouldn’t give to be put up against a wall and searched. Damn.
A smile comes to her lips as she begins to sink lower in the tub.
He had been her online friend for some time now. She began playing the same game he was, and they started chatting from there. It had now been over a year, and she thought of him much more then just a friend, he was her salvation, her ground to reality, her online hero really. How she looked forward to the days that his name showed up on her instant messenger, or seeing his return address on an email to her. No matter how rotten her day had been, it seemed the moment he came online, her fears and problems disappeared. He would keep her safe.
Now if only reality was that simple. Her own personal life had taught her not to trust those she didn’t know. And sometimes to trust those she -did- know, even less. Life had taught her a painful lesson, valuable yes, but pain was the foremost emotion.
But then again, there was just a certain “something” with him that made her want him…so desperately.
His thoughts then went to her recent moods as of late, their last conversation on the phone. Yes, he’d allowed that much ‘direct contact’, Etiler escort ever fearful that letting her in -just that much- would ruin whatever it was that they had…her words were punctuated with a brattiness, a poutiness, as if trying to goad him. Sometimes it was hard to tell if she was being silly or if she was looking for ‘trouble’.
And of course, she knew he’d take the bait. He was more than open with her about his desires, his needs. He told her all about a prior relationship he’d had, his first time as a Dom, and how he’d be open to doing that again, but this time with the -right- girl. Again, trying to wade through the bullshit and navigate his life. He knew she’d be right for him. And while she showed some natural hesitation, having never experienced letting someone else “call the shots”, they both knew that it’d be a great fit, if they got together.
She chuckled softly as she sipped at the coffee once more. Remembering the last time she called him. Quite surprised that he had allowed her his phone number. She had offered him hers before, but he always politely refused telling her that a good girl shouldn’t be giving her numbers out to strangers. She had felt a bit hurt at his first rejection of her offer, but never had told him that. It was typical of her nature. She never told anyone, anything negative. She just kept it to herself.
But after he gave her his number, she had nervously paced the floor for a bit before deciding to call. She was defiantly nervous, and wondered what she would say to this man who had been more then just an online friend, yet not her lover. While they both flirted with each other relentlessly at times, they had never taken their online relationship to that of cybering. Maybe they just thought it would cheapen the relationship they had.
She had been so nervous on the phone with him that she jested maybe a bit more then needed. He had told her some of his personal desires, as she had shared with him, so she began to taunt him a bit with her bratty, flirtatious, comments. Likely going overboard with the jest, but he took it all in stride. What she really wanted to tell him was just how comforting he sounded, and how safe she felt…. and how his voice, with a simple inflection in tone, could make her feel like he was making love to her over the phone.
“Damn” she muttered again. The only word that could describe how he made her feel. He was supposed to have called her when he got home from work, she had left him several messages today already, teasing him with the white lie that she had called in sick.
“Likely out with one of his “ladies” again.”
The thought made her jealous as hell, even though she had no claim to him personally. She knew, like most men, he had times where he went out to “meet his needs” He had told her as much. But still, she held a girlish fragment of jealousy when she thought of him with anyone. Anyone other then her that was.
Reaching over to the cordless phone, not caring that she shouldn’t use it while she was submerged in a tub, she punched his number on the dial pad, a little harder then normal..
Snapped out of his thoughts by the phone’s shrill ringing once more. He turned off the water by the third ring, and on the fourth, his answering machine picked up. He could hear it, and stopped in his tracks, holding the towel around his waist.
His eyebrows went up as he heard her generally sweet voice turn saccharinely sarcastic.
“Thought you were going to call me when you got home…but no….well listen here, I am not a prisoner of the phone, so if you have a brain in your head, pal, you’ll pick up the phone..” Then she giggled and hung up.
Oh, she was asking for it.. and she was going to get it.
He rewound the answering machine, having heard the last message when he was in the shower. To his chagrin…all of the messages were from her, with varying degrees of tone in her voice.
Eight messages. She used a singsong tone in the first few, along the lines of..”Piiick up the phonneeee..you know you want to..Oh, wait! You’re at work..and I’m not! Called in sick. I know you said to watch my sick time but, what do ~you~ know? It’s not like you’re here to do anything about it.”
He dressed as he listened to her, both chuckling and shaking his head. He then heard the last one again, and that was all the confirmation he needed that she wanted him, that this was her way of telling him that her hesitation was out the window.
Which made him ready.
After hitting the off button on the phone, she sighed low to herself. “He’s still not home, he MUST be out with one of those women.” she hated the way he made her jealous without even trying. She was normally not a jealous person. Deciding she was going to give it one last chance, she got out of the tub, dried off, and dressed in her typical comfy pj’s. Then reached for the phone and dialed his number once again.
He picked up the phone, Etiler escort bayan and to his surprise found her already there, he must have caught it a split second before it would’ve rung.
“Hello?” “Your home!! Eh, how was your day?” “Hmm.” “~Hmm? Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?” He could almost see her grin. “Well, young lady, that will be for you to determine. My day thus far has been pretty rotten. and to come home to your verbal barrage. well, let’s just say that I will be at your doorstep in about an hour. and what happens then will determine whether I’ve had a good day or bad day.” She gasped. “And. I think that your fun day of taking off work and then bragging about it will soon turn. for the worse. or the better, depending on how you look at it.” She gasped again. He grinned. “I’ll leave the door unlocked,” she said quietly.. “No, you won’t. That’s dangerous. Keep your eyes out for my truck.”
He was coming! Here! He had enough of her teasing comments and was actually going to find his way to her house. Somewhere he had never been before. How would he find it?
She chastised herself mentally, of course he would be able to find it, he was a cop, used to patrolling and directions. Even if she were an hour away, he would have little problem locating her apartment. He probably already had it pinpointed down to a science.
He hung up, foregoing his waiting dinner of cold pizza in the refrigerator, and in a few minutes, was on the interstate. He knew the way. he’d gone over it a thousand times in his mind, ran a check online of the maps. the distance between her place and his, being 58.2 miles.
She had little time to prepare anything for him to eat, as she should rightfully do, being he is to be her guest and all, but she did have some roast left over. She guessed he probably didn’t have time to eat, if he was heading over right after work.
A surge of something went through her at this point. It started in her neck and worked its way down her body. A deep excited chill of sorts. Her adrenaline pumping hard, her heart felt as if it was going to burst. She was finally going to get to meet him. In person. The man who had kept her company in her dreams more then she cared to have even admit to him. Her rock, her stability, her hero, the man who she wanted to make love to for reasons she herself couldn’t explain.
She quickly straightened up a few things, and lit some candles again, this time in the living room. Before she knew it, an hour had passed and she stood in the window of her apartment, glancing down at the street, looking for his truck.
He turned on the radio and before the end of his two favorite CDs, he was there. Setting the alarm, he glanced up at the building, her building. and could see her looking down at him, illuminated by the lamplight. His heart quickened, but he kept an expressionless face, and rang the bell to her apartment.
She buzzed him up.
He stopped on the landing for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. This was it. The “put up or shut up” moment. All that they’d shared on the phone and in words on a screen coming together to bring them together. for something that neither would forget, for better or worse.
She asked for it. he said again and again in his mind. Yet he knew that once he walked through that door. it was still her choice, her acceptance of him that would make it happen. He would never force himself or his ways on her, or any woman. That was -not- his style. He continued up the stairs..
He knocked softly. She opened the door, dressed very casually in a pair of cute pajamas and a terrycloth pink robe, hair in a ponytail and face scrubbed clean. He smiled as he looked down at her, his dark eyes taking her in.
“Do you always open the door without asking who’s there?” He asked quietly.
She felt riveted to the spot as she locked eyes with him for the first time ever. Well, the first time, if you don’t count the many times she stared at those sexy eyes in his photo. His dark gaze raked over her once, and she felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of her. His presence filled her home, and he hadn’t even stepped through the doorway yet. All she could think was that the picture didn’t lie, his shoulders really were that big. She began to feel a bit weak in the knees, now that he was here, in real life. She couldn’t pull her gaze from him. “Well hello to you too.” she mumbled, grinning sheepishly, and moved out of the doorway to let him in.
He walked in after her, and locked the door, just the bolt and not the chain. He didn’t want her to feel ‘trapped.’ Regardless of how well they knew each other’s minds and voices, he knew that she should be rightfully worried by having him there. He was, to a certain degree, still a stranger.
But the look in her eyes told him that he wouldn’t remain a stranger for long.
She marveled at how confident he looked. He was defiantly a take charge kind of escort etiler man she thought, as she watched him turn and lock the door without hesitation. Something in her paused a moment, as much as she had come to know him online he was still basically a stranger. She was cautious, yet she saw something in his eyes, something that told her he would never do anything to hurt her. Never push her beyond her limits. Never force anything upon her she didn’t want. She felt a slight bit more comfortable and she reached for his coat to put it in the closet.. “Did you eat?” she asked, embodying the quiet, caring girl he’d met a year ago online.
“Nah, didn’t have time to,” he answered, shrugging, although he was starving. She clucked her tongue in a “tsk, tsk” manner and went to the refrigerator, dismissing his shrug, and getting him a plate together for the microwave. She’d told him about her cooking, and knew full well his rotten eating habits. Before he knew it, he was treated to some homemade roast, potatoes and broccoli.
“This is phenomenal,” he said between bites, as she sat across from him with a glass of wine. She smiled and asked if he’d like another plate, that she’d cooked for visiting family just last night, and had a ton of leftovers. “Maybe a bit later,” he said, pushing the plate away..”But for now, we need to discuss -you-, young lady.”
She squirmed in her seat slightly, enough for him to notice. And she could see his slightly suppressed confident grin, which let her relax a bit. She began to grow comfortable, but anxious. He was the man she’d told so much too, as he confided in her.
They were both here. Finally. And she knew she was going to get it. and the look in her eyes, and the fidgeting, clued him in that she knew it. How he loved this part.
She looked across the table at him, her face flushing, “I, I can explain,” she started, and averted her eyes.
“I’d like to think so, so now’s your chance.”
She spun a wild tale of how her family left late the night before (Even though he knew by their year of chatting/talking that her family turns in early, and how she didn’t feel well that morning ‘sort of’ so decided to sleep in in case she was ‘coming down with something’ (When he knew full well that she admittedly was not a morning person and would look for any excuse to stay in bed.) He heard her whole story out, and stared at her, his eyes boring into hers.
“Anything else you’d care to add to this fairy tale?” He asked this dryly, quietly, sternly. How could he see right through her so easily? She slumped in her chair.
“All right!” Her voice jumped a notch, matching the messages on his machine, and she became a bit more fidgety, more animated. “I confess! I was lazy today and had time on my hands and decided to just mess with you a little bit. that’s why I called…to tease you was all. you were on my mind. And I really did go in to work today, I just came home a bit early because I haven’t called out in-“
“A week and a half.” He said flatly, interrupting her. Her jaw dropped. “Yes, a week and a half, we’ve discussed the fact that you are jeopardizing your job by your sickout and leaving early patterns. Enough.”
He rose and she looked up at him. her eyes misted. “You’re right damnit., why are you always right. I know we’ve talked about this. and I know you’re not too thrilled with me right now. But,”
He raised his hand in a “stop” motion. “We’ve discussed this, haven’t we? That there are consequences to every action? Now, we’ve discussed this at length. You know that with one word from you, right now, I will walk out this door and there will be no hard feelings.”
Although it would’ve crushed his feelings, he wasn’t going to have her submit out of guilt. He was a master of hiding his feelings, of a ‘poker face.’ Was required on the job and served him well in his personal life.
She was silent, silence that he interpreted as quiet rejection. He forced a gentle smile and prepared to leave.
He was leaving! No! Say something stupid. You know you want this man, want him more then any one before him. He knew just the way to peak your interest, and turn your emotions. Tease you, make you promise things, basically he had the ability to turn your insides to a quivering mess. A mess you’d give anything to be in right now.
“WAIT”– the volume and insistence in her tone shocking them both. “It’s sort of hard to talk when there’s a lump in your throat!”
He looked at her, reading her face. “Then say it,” he said, quietly. “But only say it if you mean it.”
They’d spoken of this so many times, scened it online. She knew what she had to say, if in fact it was what she wanted. Anything else would be a disservice to them both, and would shift the base of their relationship from honesty and respect to a quicksand of lies.
“I… I want you to stay. you came here because you care enough about me to see that I start behaving properly. that I should’ve known better and respected you more than to use your answering machine as a toy..” She paused and looked at him, his lips moving silently as he followed what she was saying.
“And?”
“And…and…I deserve to be punished, if that is what you choose to do..’