U-N-I Ch. 05

Blindfolded

I waited a few days before talking to Rachel. I knew I was going to come out to her, and it wasn’t going to be an easy thing to do.

One evening, she called me to find out when we’d be out of the studio and I knew the time had come. I went to her place and told her the whole truth. She was gobsmacked of course. She refused to believe me and asked me a million questions but after a while, it eventually started to sink in.

“How can you do this to me?” she asked.

“Believe me, I wish I didn’t have to do this to you. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to see you hurt, but I can’t keep lying to you.”

“You can’t be gay, I know you’re not!”

“I told you, I am. And I love him. I can’t fight it.”

“Of course you love him, he’s your best friend. That doesn’t mean you have to fuck him just ’cause he tells you he’s gay” she said, raising her voice. “gee, it’s Rob, the guy’s gorgeous, look at him! All my friends are in love with him!”

“I AM looking at him.”

“Maybe he’s messing with your head, because he’s sooo… ” she couldn’t find the right words, but I knew what she meant. “You’re just confused ’cause he tells you he loves you.”

“Rach, no, he’s not messing with my head, and I’m not confused anymore! What we have is not infatuation. I’m in love with him. I love him just as much as he loves me,” I said with more self-assurance every time I admitted how I felt.

“Oh come on, would you stop saying that!” she pleaded.

“That’s just the truth, and you’re gonna have to accept it!” I told her matter-of-factly.

“So, that’s it, we’re done. Just like that?” she asked, still not wanting to believe it.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. I love you Rach, I really do. I care so much about you, but I don’t love you in that way anymore,” as I said it I began to wonder if I ever truly had.

“Aren’t you gonna change you mind about this?” she asked as tears filled up her eyes.

“I’m not,” I answered, reaching over to her to take her in my arms, “I’m so sorry,” I told her again.

She cried on my shoulder for a while and I just let her.

“You’re gonna be so hard to get over. I always thought I’d marry you someday.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, feeling so sad to end things with her in a way, to hurt her like this.

It was so hard to break up with her, even though I honestly didn’t think of her as a girlfriend anymore, but I still considered her as a friend.

After a moment, I told her,

“We can still be friends, when you feel ready. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to hang on to me.”

She nodded,

“Well, firstly, you’re gay, and secondly, you’re with Robbie, I don’t think I can compete here.” she let out a sad chuckle, “He’s fucking lucky! I’m gonna kick his ass!” she said, her voice tearing up.

“Ok, I’ll let you do that. He deserves it!”

“He’s not gonna know what hit him!” she said as she tried to wipe her eyes.

We stayed quiet for a moment.

“Rach, please, can you… ,” I began asking.

She looked up at me with a sigh.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she responded, understanding what it was I was asking.

“Thanks. I’m not ready to have everyone know.”

“Are you at least gonna tell Jordan? He’ll understand. So will Dammo and Dylan, you know, I’m sure they will.”

I sighed. I knew the next step would be to come out to our friends, and that seemed an even harder thing to do. Although I agreed that they were open-minded enough to accept it, Rob and I hadn’t really talked about it but we both knew we would have to do it eventually.

That day came a lot sooner than we had expected though. About a week later, we had been in the studio all day to record some of our already written songs but Rob and I were also working on a couple new songs at the same time and because of the lyrics we had written the atmosphere between us was a bit electric. To make a long story short, we were horny. We had been flirting discreetly for over an hour and we couldn’t take it anymore.

Damon and Dylan were about to record a few takes, Jordan and myself were next and as I was strumming my guitar, practicing, Rob walked past me and whispered “I want you” in my ear.

“Guys,” he announced. “I’m gonna take a quick break while you record this alright?”

I watched him walk to where he had left his jacket and retrieve something from the pocket, which I knew had to be a packet of lube. My cock immediately twitched at the thought of fucking him and I knew we were not going to be able to wait until the end of the day.

Rob left the room and after only a few short seconds, I told Jordan I would get myself a drink.

“I’ll be right back,” I said. “Keep practicing, you’re so not ready,” I teased him, ruffling his hair.

“C’mon!” he complained as he tried to wiggle out of my touch. “Get outta here!”

I laughed. Jordan had a love affair with his hair and he always looked good no matter how he arranged it. So did I actually but I didn’t care as much as he did.

He kept playing and I hoped he wouldn’t decide to join me.

I headed out trabzon escort of the studio and caught up with Rob where he waited for me, his hand on the restroom doorknob, a naughty smirk on his face. We eagerly walked inside and I closed and locked the door behind me.

When I turned around he placed both his hands on my neck and crashed his lips on mine with a passion I would never tire of.

I wrapped my arms under his and grabbed his shoulders as he kissed me with need. He bit at my lower lip and our tongues roughly played with each other. My cock responded immediately. The kiss got us even more worked up and he moaned loudly when I slipped both my hands under his t-shirt and slightly pulled on his nipple.

“I’m so horny,” he moaned in my mouth as I pulled off his t shirt.

“Same here. Please, tell me that was lube you took out of your pocket,” I asked him urgently.

He smiled, still licking my lips,

“Oh yeah, you’re gonna fuck me!”

I smiled, eager as always, and grabbed his crotch,

“Let me suck on this first!”

I unbuttoned his jeans and slipped my hand in his underwear. I let my knees drop to the floor and took his very hard dick out of his briefs and into my mouth. I worked his foreskin down, exposing the head and I wrapped my lips tightly around the tip before rolling around the head inside my mouth. I tasted his precum and took more of him. He soon slowly thrust his cock deeper into my mouth as he moved his hips to fuck my face. I let him do this for a moment and the more I took, the more I wanted to take. His dick entered my throat and I tried to relax.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” he sighed.

His moans of intense pleasure encouraged me to do it a couple more times and then I started blowing him again, deepthroating him from time to time. My own cock was painfully hard and stuck in my jeans. I kept blowing him while I reached for it and started stroking myself. When he saw me doing that, he made me stand up again and pushed my body closer to the counter edge. I let my jeans fall to my ankles and leaned against the countertop before climbing on it.

He rapidly pulled my t shirt over my head, his hand roamed across my chest. He licked and bit my nipples before wrapping his lips around my cock. I moaned when he started sucking on the head, going down just a few inches before going back up, keeping up a fast rhythm. He took more into his mouth until my cock was buried inside and repeated the action. He blew me for a moment and when he stopped, he brought his lips to mine.

Still stroking me, he murmured sensually,

“Your dick is so fucking hard, I love it!”

“Yeah,” I moaned. “that’s how much I want you.”

“Come on, fuck me with that gorgeous dick of yours,” he pleaded with a moan.

I smiled and took his face in my hands. I kissed him intensely and said,

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard!”

“Oh yeah, that’s all I’ve been able to think about all day!”

I stood behind him and he laid himself over the countertop.

“Come on,” he laughed, handing me the packet of lube. “fuck me.”

I opened it, lubed up my cock and brought my hand to his inviting hole,

“Don’t worry about getting me ready, just give it to me.”

I obeyed and moved my very hard cock into position and pressed it into him. It was met with a bit more resistance than I was used to and I had to push a bit harder to pop the head through.

“Oohh yeah,” he moaned. I pushed further into him and before long my cock was fully up his ass, and I began fucking him – slowly at first.

Then I started to increase my pace, much to his delight.

“Yeah,” he moaned. “fuck me, fuck me hard.”

I caressed his back, while my eyes were fixed on my cock sliding in and out of his tight hole, turning me on even more.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he panted, watching me in the mirror focusing on how the muscles in my chest tightened as I fucked him.

I smiled and started to plunge my cock in and out of his hole, causing him to moan wildly each time I re-entered him.

“Oh fuck, Mark,” he sighed.

I reached for his cock and pulled it hard, making him whimper and push himself harder against my cock, making all sorts of noises, that let me know he was really loving this. His smooth pole was hard as a rock and I wondered if all gay couples were capable of being as turned on by each other as we were.

Then I held his hips tight and I fucked him hard, listening to the sound of my cock sliding in and out of him.

“Oh God, yes,” he squealed in delight.

My hand travelled up his back to his shoulders. I grabbed them and fucked him for all I was worth. He started groaning and reached for his cock. I felt his ass tighten and he went weak, I had to hold him tight as his knees buckled and he shot load after load.

Thrusting into him a few more times, I cried out,

“Oh God, Rob I’m gonna cum.”

“Oh yeah!” he answered. “Cum baby, I wanna feel you cum.”

I grabbed his chest and I came hard, spilling my load inside of him, tunceli escort feeling like it would never end. I slowed down my rhythm, eventually coming to a stop as we tried to catch our breath, I leaned down and kissed the smooth skin of his back.

“I guess I knew we weren’t gonna be able to wait until tonight,” I sighed.

He laughed,

“Oh we can still do it tonight!”

We hurriedly cleaned ourselves a little and hoped the guys hadn’t gone looking for us.

Before going back into the studio we stopped briefly, not wanting to let go of each other, he pushed me gently against the wall and kissed me tenderly one last time. We got lost in the kiss, I put my hand in his hair and drew him closer and he grabbed the back of my neck with one hand and the kiss got deeper and more intense.

And that’s the moment Jordan chose to come out of the studio, looking for us.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” we heard him ask in surprise.

Rob let go of my neck and backed away from me in a flash. He stared at me, putting his hand over his mouth. He removed it and mouthed,

“Fuck!”

I glanced at Jordan,

“Nothing!” I replied quickly, even though I knew what he had seen was very clear and that he had probably been standing there for a moment.

“You were snogging each other’s faces off,” he stated.

We didn’t say anything, we couldn’t say anything. We both had a slight nervous smile on our faces and we almost wanted to laugh at the unlikeliness if the situation. Why did he have to walk out at that moment?

He just watched us and announced,

“Hold on a minute, stay right here,” and he went back into the studio.

“Shit!” I said to Rob, biting my nail, “Shit!” I repeated, almost laughing.

“Where’s he going? What’s he gonna do?” Rob asked me. “Oh crap, he’s gonna have a little fun of his own with this, isn’t he?”

“Maybe we should run for our lives,” I joked and he laughed anxiously.

Jordan came back with Damon and Dylan following him.

“Oh come on!” Rob exclaimed, turning to me as soon as he saw them.

Jordan looked at them and proudly said,

“So, guess what, guys?” he announced. “Rob has finally come out to me!”

“I did not!” Rob exclaimed.

“You mean, you aren’t gay?” Jordan asked him, in a tone that implied he already knew the answer.

“Well” he said hesitantly before adding, “so, you know?”

“Oh, Rob, come on, we all know! We were only waiting for you to say it out loud,” he answered with a laugh. “What about all the hot girls who want to shag you after gigs but who, for some reason, are never good enough for you?” he said inquisitively. “And because I’m not sure what’s going on here,” he said waving at me, “I won’t mention all the dudes I’ve seen you flirting with!”

Rob looked at me, puzzled, his eyes asking me if I knew. I just shrugged my shoulders, raised my hands a little and shook my head. Of course I knew, I was included in their conversations, but I was not going to confirm their suspicions to them.

“Although, he had an interesting way of doing it!” Jordan added, turning back to Damon and Dylan.

“Why?” Damon asked laughing.

“He was just kissing Mark!” he replied with a nod.

They both looked at us and exclaimed with a laugh,

“Whaaat!”, not believing him.

“Interesting, huh? Would you mind explaining this to us?” he asked, staring at me.

I smiled nervously. This was too much. This was typical Jordan behaviour. He WAS having fun with this.

But I didn’t even want to talk, and neither did Rob.

“What do you mean, he was kissing Mark?” Dylan asked him.

“What do you think I mean? They were kissing, like full on! Like they were gonna have sex!”

He turned to us and exclaimed,

“Oh my god, have you just done it here?” Jord pointed at the door to the restroom just beyond where Rob and I stood.

We just looked at each other and laughed at the way he had said that and I guess that was our answer. He just shook his head, while Damon and Dylan didn’t seem to understand what they were hearing.

“Mark?” Damon asked, as if he had just realized something. “Is this why you broke up with Rachel?” He didn’t seem to quite believe what he was saying.

I stared at him,

“Yeah”, I answered simply.

“FASCINATING!” Jordan exclaimed loudly.

I shook my head with a laugh. I couldn’t help it. He was actually funny.

He turned to Damon and Dylan,

“Either of you two gay?”

They both laughed and shook their heads to answer no.

“Two out of five, damn, that’s not very rock’n’roll!” he joked.

“Wait!” Dylan said, looking straight at me. “Are you gay?” he asked inquisitively, needing me to confirm it.

“Are you stupid?” Jordan asked him with the same tone of voice.

“Well, Mark’s not gay!” Dylan said.

“You obviously haven’t witnessed what I’ve just witnessed,” Jordan told him, faking being a bit revolted.

Dylan laughed and continued,

“I mean what is this? What are zonguldak escort you doing, just exploring, are you, like, just, is it, just, sex?” he was all confused.

“No, no, I’m gay!” I confirmed.

“Since when?” he asked, totally shocked.

“Since… June, or even way before, I just didn’t realise it.” I replied.

“Oh!” Jordan said. “So basically around the same time we all started having suspicions about Rob!”

Rob turned to me and gave me an inquisitive look.

I let out a laugh,

“What! Don’t give me that look!”

“You could’ve told me that they knew!”

“Oh, come on, they didn’t know anything, really. It was just boy talk. They were just taking the piss out of you for not showing an interest in all those would-be groupies!”

“Well, you could’ve at least told me that they suspected!”

“Right! And what would you have done? You would’ve told them? Made out with a girl? What?”

“I don’t know. But I would’ve liked to know.”

“Come on, you HAD to know! He was always making jokes,” I said, briefly looking over at Jordan.

“Yeah, they were jokes. Jordan’s always joking around.”

Jordan just laughed,

“And now they’re arguing! Boy, so they really are a couple, aren’t they!”

“Ok, I’m gonna need to know more than that!” Dylan said in a more serious tone.

“Rob? Seriously, explain!” he asked, staring at him, needing to understand what was going on between us.

Sensing his confusion, Rob sighed and searched for his words,

“Look, I’m gay,” he simply said, there really was no need to assert this more, “and… to be totally honest, I’ve been in love with Mark for, like, well, as long as I can remember.”

They were silent and a bit surprised, waiting to hear more, sometimes glancing at me.

“I’d never told him. But recently, things just sort of happened between us. I don’t think you need to know all the details, really. But basically, yeah, we’re together, like, we’re in love. I love him, so much, and… ” he stopped and looked at me.

They all did. Apparently, it was my turn to speak. I sighed, and thought about how I could best explain this to them.

“Well, you know we’ve always been close, because of my parents and all. And I kinda had feelings for him but I just didn’t think I was gay. I didn’t quite understand it. I thought it was just, ’cause we were close…until… it happened. It’s a long story really, but yeah, I’m gay, I know that now, I’m sure of it.”

“Woah!” Damon said. “So, that’s what ‘Yellow’ is about?”

Jordan made a face,

“You’re very clever, aren’t you? I wasn’t even thinking about Rachel, or that song.”

“Yeah, I am. Makes sense!” Damon stated.

We grew silent. They were taking it in and we didn’t really know what more to say.

“Are you guys ok with this?” I asked anxiously after a moment.

“Oh come on,” Jordan said, a lot more serious. “D’you really need to ask? We’ve never been the type to say all sorts of homophobic shit, have we?”

“It might take me some time to get used to this though. Good thing we already suspected about you,” Dylan added, looking at Rob.

“Well, I’m gonna need to process this,” Jordan sighed. “I don’t think I want to go back in the studio now. What about we call it a day?”

“Yeah, let’s go have a drink somewhere,” Damon suggested.

We went back into the studio to get our stuff and tidy up a bit but Rob and I just watched them for a moment. We kind of just stood there, ill-at-ease, not sure what to think or what to do, surprised that they didn’t seem to be so shocked.

After taking some time to process what had just happened, I began helping them too.

“You know, I’m not gonna believe this until I actually see them kiss!” I heard Dylan mutter under his breath to Jordan.

Rob laughed and I looked at him.

“You heard him?” he asked me in a whisper.

I looked over at Dylan. “Yeah, I heard him,” I replied the same way.

He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss that was both tender and passionate.

“Ok, I believe it!” Dylan exclaimed.

And so they knew.

We went out for some drinks and tried not to behave any differently. We did talk about it a little but we didn’t change our behaviour tremendously. It took a while before we started acting as a couple around them. It happened day after day during the recording of the album. We would sometimes kiss or hug, and they gradually got used to seeing us show affection to each other, or talk about our relationship.

“I still can’t get my head around this,” Dylan said, shaking his head. “I can’t really imagine you two together.”

“Well, then – don’t!” Rob joked, understanding he was talking about picturing us having sex or something.

They laughed.

“That was so funny though,” Jordan laughed. “I was like standing there, watching you make out, and it was like…WHAT THE FUCK! I mean, I knew you were gay, like for sure!” he said, pointing at Rob, who frowned slightly. “Come on, who would turn down so many girls!!” he exclaimed. “I was about to confront you with it you know, soon. I wouldn’t even have believed you if you’d told me you were straight! But fuck, I was like watching you, and it didn’t register at first. How did it even start?”

“We’re not gonna get into any details, told you,” Rob said matter-of-factly.