An Episode In Our Affair

I don’t know why – perhaps because we met so infrequently, or that my memory is not as good as it used to be, maybe because we’d already spoken so much online before I saw you that I’d had to create a lot of the details from my imagination, who knows – but there was always that brief moment whenever we met, where for that instant I would not recognise the stranger standing in front of me, where your voice would not be familiar and your face would be new to me, did you feel that too?

When you opened the car door – even though I’d been expecting you, had unlocked the passenger side for you and was writing a message to tell you I’d arrived – there was that second where I tensed, where I thought “who is this getting into my car”, before you smiled and said something, and my brain matched the “text you” with the “real you” and let me relax, accepting the can of drink you offered and welcoming the cool caffeine hit as I studied you, trying to memorise your appearance again, even whilst knowing that within a few days I would only remember parts and not how they fit together as a whole.

I’ve never been good with faces, and as I type I try to call your face to mind but the effort is futile and frustrating, a nose, glasses, freckles, a smile, I can describe your face in detail but I can’t bring together an image of how these individual elements join together to form your face and this annoys me, that you could send me a message from any number and I’d instantly know it was you, and yet I couldn’t pick out your face in a crowd.

Oh I expect given enough time and logic I’d find you eventually but still, at first glance you would be a stranger to me. And for some reason it seems important to me each time to try and make the effort to remember your face, even though I know it’s probably hopeless. And when you catch me staring you ask why, and I tell you that I like looking at you – and this is true of course, there’s something about your face that I find myself drawn to, maybe your smile, I have a thing about smiles – but also I’m trying to remember your face as a whole so that one day I won’t have that moment of blankness when I see you again, and so that I can sit at home as I’m doing now and not get angry with myself for not being able to see your face in my mind.

Either way I find that I’ve gotten sidetracked as I did then and that will never do. So where was I? Oh yes…

By this time we’d walked around the store several times – my eye briefly being drawn to a display of riding crops before dismissing them, knowing that my curiosity was all that made them interesting and that reality would dim the appeal somewhat, experience having shown me that some things are better left in the imagination – and we were back in the car. You leaned over to kiss me quickly as you got out and I felt the brief soft touch of your cool lips on mine as I mentally replayed the conversation, trying to work out where and why you were leaving before my mind caught up and I started the car to follow you. I knew where I was now and where we were going to but the route in between the two was unclear in my mind and so I tried to stay close behind you until I recognised the road into the city and could fall back a little.

I pulled into the car park behind you and moved over to the barrier on your right. You didn’t see me and I wondered briefly if you’d noticed me following you, but you didn’t look over and when the barrier raised you drove straight ahead, while I turned to the left to where I knew there would be spaces.

I parked quickly and unplugged my phone from the charger placing it with the other inside my bag, grabbing the bag from the seat where I’d thrown it and hoisting it over my shoulder, thinking as I always did, ataköy escort that at some point I needed to clear it out as it was far too heavy. Not wanting to keep you waiting I climbed out of the car and locked it, walking quickly to the stairs whilst taking my bank key card out of my bag to transfer over some money. I glanced around as I reached the top of the stairs but you were nowhere in sight and so I stood by the entrance to the cinema, logging on to my internet banking and making sure I didn’t look up because I hate that awkward moment when you see someone from a distance and have to wait. I’m never quite sure what to do at that point, they’re generally too far away to say anything and once you’ve seen someone it seems rude to ignore them or stay where you are, but then what do you do, do you walk to meet them halfway, do you wave, shout something, what if they haven’t seen you, there’s just too many things to consider so I’d rather wait here sorting out the transfer of money from one account to another and let you walk up to me unnoticed than to make the wrong move. I know, I’m strange, you must have realised that by now right?

Either way, you made it to me and we walked up the stairs to the cinema, stopping to look at the films that were showing while I called my bank. You disappeared inside and I looked at the times, instantly picking out the two which were showing soonest as I hung up the phone. I stood there for a moment longer before starting to feel edgy, I’m still not entirely trusting of people who go off alone at cinemas, always half expecting them not to come back, and so I walked into the lobby and hung around, attempting to look like I belonged and hoping you wouldn’t be too long. A minute later you appeared beside me and I waited while you looked at the film times, picking out the two I’d selected as possibles.

I didn’t want to decide, always nervous of picking the wrong one, but you didn’t either and eventually I told you we’d see the one that started soonest, pushing you in front of me in the queue so that you would have to choose the seats and telling the cashier “the same” when she asked. You’d handed her your parking ticket when you paid, so that it could be validated, but I didn’t know what this was and so I kept mine in my purse, not wanting to embarrass myself by asking. If I’d been by myself then perhaps I would have, but I hate other people seeing that I don’t know something, I don’t like to show weakness.

We walked through the door to the corridor, past the usher who checked our tickets and up to the screen door. I left you to visit the toilet and again had that moment of uncertainty, wondering if you’d be there when I got back. Worrying that you’d have gone in without me or worse still gone altogether and that I’d have to try and find my seat in the dark theatre on my own. The stupid thing is that if I’d been there by myself I would have confidently walked in and found my seat by myself. I’ve never cared for the opinions of strangers. Being with someone I know though always makes me self conscious and worry that I’ll do something stupid, which of course makes me nervous. Silly I know. But you were still there when I came out and you led me to our seat. I had a moment of panic where I wondered if I was meant to sit on the left or the right but decided it didn’t matter and took the seat to your left, placing my bag on the seat to the left of me and taking off my shoes so I could curl my legs up under me.

Again we’d managed to find seats which were not at all private, next time I’m doing my research and picking the least popular film just to make sure. You’re the only person I’ve been to the cinema with where I’ve had naughty intentions and avcılar escort so the issue of where best to sit to avoid being observed has never come up before, hence the lack of experience in choosing the film/seat that affords the most privacy. I’m learning though.

As the film started I leaned up closer to you, not sure whether I was meant to be watching the film or playing with you. I wanted to be touching you but your body language seemed reserved, despite the kiss earlier, and so I sat back in my chair, nervously resting one hand on your leg. I half expected you to politely return my hand to the arm of the chair but you did nothing. No encouragement to continue but no discouragement either. I looked up at you and you looked down, but you didn’t kiss me and now I was completely confused. The last thing I wanted to do was to embarrass myself by starting something you weren’t interested in, but equally the first time we’d gone to the cinema I’d wanted to touch you but hadn’t because you gave no encouragement, only for you to say later that you would have been willing. I hate that uncertainty, of not knowing whether you want me to stop or continue, but I don’t have the confidence to just come out and ask. What if you said no? That would cause awkwardness.

But my hand was already on your leg and you hadn’t pushed it off. I stroked your leg gently whilst pretending to watch the film. After a while I rested my head on your shoulder. You leaned your head over to mine for a second but then leaned back and so did I, keeping my hand on your leg but moving up a little further. I carried on like this for a while, stealing a quick kiss where I could and moving my hand slowly further up, teasing you I hoped, but still not knowing whether this was what you wanted or if you would rather I stopped and just didn’t know how to say it. Eventually you put your arm around me and I held your hard cock in my hand and still I wasn’t sure that you actually wanted me to be doing this. You’d crossed your leg to rest your ankle on the opposite knee, perhaps to hide what I was doing from the people next to us, but was that because you wanted me to continue or just because you didn’t want them to see? I felt awkward and uncertain and far from turned on, my confidence dented from your lack of response and eventually settled for leaning my head against your chest and burrowing my hand under your T-shirt to rest on your stomach. Your arm around me and your hand stroking gently over my dress was the only thing that gave me the confidence to believe I might not have made a huge mistake.

Eventually the film finished and we were the only ones left in the cinema. I started to pull on my shoes and jacket but you just sat there, what did that mean? The usher was coming in to clean and finally you got up and we left, walking out into the sunshine. I don’t remember why but we ended up walking, you leading the way.

I followed you along by the river, down alleyways, trying to work out what was going on. Conversation flowed easily as it always seemed to with you but my mind was rapidly trying to think. You clearly hadn’t expected to see me today, I was meant to have been working in London, but you hadn’t said no when I offered to meet you. I’d said I wanted to see you and you’d asked whether “see” meant “naked and fucking” or similar words. I’d replied that “see” meant “meet and spend time with”, maybe I should have asked specifically what you expected. Had you just been bored and fancied some company, had I overstepped some boundary in the cinema?

Stepping out of an alleyway we emerged opposite stone arches, benches placed in the centre of each arch with smaller arches linking each one. Each archway avrupa yakası escort was in shadow, the sun being behind them by this time of day, and each was empty. A picture entered my head of you sitting on the far bench with me straddling you, teasing you until you ripped off my leggings and pushed me into one of the smaller archways, hidden from passing view, lifting me up against the cold, hard, stone wall and fucking me until we were both satisfied. I almost took your hand to lead you that way, I think I said something, but in the end I wasn’t confident enough to initiate it, instead following you up the stone steps with one last final look behind me. Wasted opportunities.

We stood at the top and looked around, to the other side of the wall was a pebble beach and the entrance to the harbour. Boats were passing in both directions and you leant back against the stone wall as did I.

When I suggested sitting somewhere, you led me down the steps to the beach and we sat on the stones, you lying back and me rolling my jacket into a kind of pillow to lean on. The sun was warm and the sea was a perfect sky blue as I lay down beside you. We kissed, your mouth soft against mine and I raised myself up on one arm to look down on you, kissing you again, pushing my hand under your T-shirt so that I could feel you. Your skin was warm under my hand and I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling of your lips on mine, occasionally trying to nip your lower lip between my teeth. You seemed more relaxed now and so I relaxed as well, just concentrating on the touch of your kiss, wanting more but also wanting to carry on like this.

I must have made some small noise because you stopped and looked at me strangely, making some comment that I didn’t really listen to, talking meant you stopped kissing and that was bad, I wasn’t going to prolong the conversation any more than I had to.

My left leg was draped over yours and you were turned towards me, my hand gripping your waistband to stop me digging my fingernails into you by accident. Your hand was sliding up my dress and inside my leggings, moving down to my wet pussy and stroking up again to play with my clit. My eyes were closed but I could hear people walking past as your fingers moved inside my leggings. I wished them all away and closed my eyes tighter, concentrating on your kisses and your fingers, gripping tightly to your trousers and trying my hardest not to wriggle or make a sound as I got closer and closer to cumming. I think closing my eyes was a mistake, it meant that all I had to think about was your touch with no other distractions. The first time I came I couldn’t help but twitch slightly, consciously trying to control my breathing as I kissed you, feeling that tension build up inside me, my stomach muscles tightening as the sensation built, everything concentrated in that tiny area under your fingertip, until I could barely think, and then the orgasm and I struggled not to move, not to moan, digging my fingers tighter into your waistband whilst you continued with your fingers, teasing me and letting me calm down slightly before doing the same over again. This time I was more controlled I hope.

Your hands out of my leggings now, I lay back on the pillow and you leaned above me. Opening my eyes I kissed you and you commented on a look in my eyes. I asked you if I looked like you were using me again and you said it wasn’t that. I wish I knew what you see in my eyes after I’ve cum, it never seems to be a good look anyway from your reaction, maybe I’ll just keep my eyes closed until I’ve calmed down in future.

Either way it was time to go and we walked back to the car park, me still slightly dazed, legs still a little wobbly, so wobbly in fact that I had to take off my shoes because I couldn’t concentrate enough to keep them on my feet.

In the car park we kissed goodbye and got into our cars, you exiting the car park first but me in the faster lane. You waved as I passed you a little further down the road and when I looked back in my mirror you were gone.